


Best friends

by madmartigan_77



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Blow Jobs, Feelings, First Time, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Making Out, Miscommunication, Panic Attacks, Phone Sex, Rimming
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-11
Updated: 2018-10-08
Packaged: 2019-04-21 13:09:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 63,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14285604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madmartigan_77/pseuds/madmartigan_77
Summary: Yuri and Otabek are best friends, just best friends.. Yuri struggles each day with that concept, so when Otabek comes to visit him in Russia things get more than a little confusing





	1. Chapter 1

How do you kiss your best friend? Actually how do you even know that your best friend wants to kiss you back? Yuri Plisetsky was going out of his mind, Otabek was visiting. They'd been speaking for two months religiously every single day after Barcelona

Texting throughout the day, skyping on a night without a doubt. But it was confusing the hell out of Yuri, he'd never had a best friend before, was this just normal? Was it normal to do what they were doing and not jerk off afterwards?

But he couldn't help himself, every inch of his body longed for him. Even that night in Barcelona, he'd only known him a few days and he was smitten. When Yuri got cold by the beach, Otabek had given him his hoody to wear, which made Yuri blush luckily he blamed it on the cold 

Otabek had said he could keep it, to think of him. Was that a fucking normal thing to say to your best friend?! He'd said it so casually, so cool, as Otabek always fucking was. And that was another thing, Otabek was older

He was fucking cool, he rode a motorbike, wore a leather jacket, DJ'd, skated perfectly and was always seen on nights out with his friends. Tons of fucking hot Kazakh men and woman, for all Yuri knew he was sleeping with them

For all Yuri knew he was fucking straight and they were only best friends, it drove him to distraction. When Otabek had said he missed him, it was said in such passing, so casually, 'would you mind if I visited you?' 

Yuri thought his heart was going to pound out of his chest, he had finally moved out of living with Lilia and Yakov, but now he was living with Victor and his piggy

Which as much as he wouldn't admit it, he really liked it. And even though they were loud in all other aspects, they were really respectful when it came to Yuri living there. Only having heard them a few times, and it was still hushed

Yuri just rolled his eyes putting in his headphones, of course the sound of two men having sex, did always kind of set him off. Making his mind drift to Otabek, how muscular he was, how he'd had a fucking growth spurt in the past two months which made Yuri imagine him towering over him, his strong build body, his strong arms picking him up..

He'd bit his lip to stop making any sound, his headphones in, probably playing one of Otabek's mixes, jerking off to thoughts of Otabek. Sometimes he even lubed up a finger and teased it at his tight hole, sometimes fucking himself with two fingers desperately panting imaging it was Otabek's fingers or dick, or whatever Otabek would give him

He always came hardest when he fingered himself, not that he liked to admit that. In preparation for Otabek coming, he'd entirely tidied his room, which was normally a messy 16 year old's room full of clutter

He'd seen Otabek's room on skype, he was clean and organised, always teasing Yuri about his messy room. So he'd tidied it, just for Otabek's presence

Now nervously waiting in the airport for Otabek he felt sick, his heart was pounding in his chest, he didn't know how to act around him. Does he dive in for a hug? Shake his hand? Or just smile, the uncertainty was killing him

So much so, that he'd zoned out a little, feeling a little tap on his shoulder, "Yura?" turning around to face the warm toned strong growling voice, Otabek was smiling one of his fucking cool dashing smiles

He had such a manly face, such a manly everything, would he even want the Russian fucking fairy? Nothing about Yuri screamed manly, even his dick was fucking pretty. If Yuri said so himself, it wasn't really thick, but it was long and pink, and it matched his perfectly trimmed dirty blonde hair that nestled at the base

Yuri thought so much what Otabek's would be like, not that he'd ever seen another dick in fucking person before that wasn't his own. It worried him just slightly, would he even be able to make him feel good? Fuck did Otabek even want him like that, his mind raced

Looking at Otabek right now, he did tower over him like he'd hoped he would, and he was so big and built, Yuri wanted to be engulfed in those arms

He couldn't help beaming him a smile, "Beka" he almost breathlessly said, Otabek didn't hold back wrapping his arms around him tightly

"I missed you Yura" Yuri had his face in his strong chest, his chest rumbling when he spoke, he was warm and Yuri could feel his muscular body through the thin layer of his tshirt, he could smell his cologne, it's all he ever wanted to smell again

"I missed you too Beka" then it was over all too quick for Yuri's liking, Otabek pulling away with his beaming smile filling his face. Walking out of the airport and getting a taxi, they spoke easily, as they always did. Even if it was quiet, it was never awkward, just being around each other was perfect

Things went along perfectly fine, having occasional touches, but Yuri didn't think they meant anything. Otabek never seeming to stutter, or blush or even react in any kind of positive way, well apart from how he was already acting

When night came around, and Otabek yawned, he had black joggers on with a loose bed vest on. It looked perfect against his dark skin, his feet were bandaged just like Yuri's were, so Yuri had no problem having his feet out

Yuri was extremely self conscious of his feet, because of skating and ballet they were fucked. They weren't pretty, but Otabek's were in the same way, yet somehow Yuri thought Otabek's feet were hot

How can feet be hot?! But Otabek pulled it off, he had big feet, which made Yuri really fucking hope that the whole big feet big dick thing was true. Distracting himself with feet, he looked to Otabek, still mid yawn

"Are you tired Beka? I'll let you get some sleep if you want" 

Otabek pulled a confused face, "Are you not sharing the bed with me?"

"Uh, I just thought you'd want it to yourself, I was just going to sleep on the sofa" 

Otabek laughed a warm laugh, "Don't be ridiculous in your own home, we can share, or if you don't want to share I'll sleep on the sofa, I don't mind"

Yuri's mouth ran dry, he was a teenage boy. He jerked off every night religiously, which he intended to do when everyone was in bed and he could sneak into the bathroom then go back to the sofa

He also knew his dick got excited in the middle of the night, in mornings, which he also knew was normal. But that added with sharing a bed, sharing a fucking bed with Otabek, it made him anxious

So he wasn't sure why he ended up saying, "Yeah okay, we'll share, I don't mind" as he shrugged, trying to play it just as cool as Otabek was being, but of course Otabek wasn't trying to be cool he was just effortlessly cool

Deciding to watch a movie in bed, so Otabek could drift off and Yuri wouldn't be bored. Yuri made sure to keep as far away from Otabek as he could, nearly putting himself on the edge of the bed, then he heard Otabek laugh

"Yura, if you don't want to share a bed, I can sleep on the sofa, I promise I don't mind" 

"What no no I don't mind, what's made you say that?"

Otabek cocked a brow, "your nearly hanging out of bed, if it makes you uncomfortable.."

"No it doesn't, I just, I uh, I didn't want to take up room on your side, I sprawl out when I sleep" 

Otabek shrugged, "Well sprawl out, I'm here for a week, I don't want you losing sleep just because of me" 

Yuri wished he knew how much sleep he did actually lose over Otabek, over thinking about Otabek. But instead, he just moved comfortably in the centre of his pillows, which made Otabek smile

"Much better, if I sprawl out too, just push me away okay" 

Yuri swallowed, fuck, "Yeah same, night Beka"

"Night Yura, thanks for letting me come visit, I've had a really good day" Otabek hummed sleepily as if it was nothing again, shutting his eyes and yawning again

Yuri stayed awake torturing himself, the movie had ended and now a new one was playing. A fucking terrifying one, which made him yelp and move closer to Otabek, stirring him

Otabek put an arm over Yuri's body, sleepily, "what's wrong Yura? You okay?" his voice sounded even hotter because he was half asleep, his eyes still shut. Yuri felt trapped under the weight of his strong arm, in the best kind and worst kind of way

Turning on his side to face Otabek, Otabek shifted his arm and tugged Yuri in closer, Yuri's heart was pounding, "Uh it was just a scary movie, sorry I woke you up" 

Otabek hummed, "Are you scared of horror movies Yura?" Yuri heard the monster on the tv squeal again, inching himself a little closer to Otabek, Otabek's face smiling slightly

"I'll take that as a yes, cmere, it's just a dumb movie Yura, it's not real remember" their legs were touching, nearly entwining, Otabek's arm was firmly around him making him feel safe and he was nearly nose to nose with Otabek who still had his eyes shut

Yuri tutted, "I know that asshole" he whispered quietly, god he wished he would lean in right now, have that strong mouth over power him and kiss deep and hard, he was staring intently at his lips, the tv the only thing lighting up the room

Otabek's smile got wider, his eyes still shut though, "If you know it's not real why are you scared?" Yuri playfully pushed him, he could feel Otabek's breath against his face, making him shiver slightly

"Go back to sleep douche" "What if the monster gets you while I'm sleeping?" Otabek said his voice playfully growling, his eyes opening and looking sharply at Yuri with a smirk, Yuri was still staring at his lips, when he quickly averted his eyes to look directly at Otabek instead, he knew he was blushing but he hoped that the room was dark enough that Otabek couldn't tell

"You just said it's not real" Yuri said, his voice even more of a whisper, Otabek kept his playful face, as he shrugged 

"What do I know?"

Yuri scowled at him, "Your being a dick, go back to sle.. AH" he yelped as the monster on the tv just did that fucking awful squeal, his face darting to Otabek's chest

Otabek laughed, his chest rumbling against Yuri's cheek, but his hand came up to stroke through his hair, "It is only a movie Yura, don't worry" 

"Fuck you" he grumbled, but now their legs were entirely entwined, Yuri's hand had landed on Otabek's hip, his tshirt had rode up and was revealing his soft but firm skin

Yuri kept his hand there, enjoying the feel of Otabek's skin against his own, dying to idly draw little circles and shapes, but he refrained

"Is this how your sleeping for the night?" Otabek asked, with a hint of teasing in his voice, one arm still firmly around his waist and the other still stroking through his hair

Yuri froze at the question, Otabek laughed out gently, "I'm only teasing Yura" he yawned, tugging in Yuri tighter, "get some sleep" 

"mhm" Yuri hummed quietly, how could Otabek be so fucking calm and cool right now. He was holding Yuri tightly as it was nothing, maybe to him it was nothing because he was just helping his scared friend

Yuri's mind troubled him, but being close and snuggled into Otabek's chest was calming him from the scary movie. Every time the monster squealed Yuri snuggled his chest more, his hand staying firmly on his bare hip

Waking up still firmly with his face in Otabek's chest, Otabek was still sleeping if the gentle moving of his chest and his soft breathing was anything to go by. Yuri should have felt incredibly happy, but instead he felt a big problem between his legs

He'd need to try and pull away without waking up Otabek, and drawing attention to himself. But Otabek's arms were still wrapped around him, slowly and gently trying to pull away

Otabek hummed sleepily, moving his arms away, "mm morning Yura" he yawned out half asleep still, Yuri quickly pulled away heading to the bathroom, "you okay?" Otabek yawned out after him 

"Yeah, I just need the toilet Beka" he called through, he hoped he sounded confident

Locking the door quickly, he was faced with what he should do. If he took longer than normal in the bathroom to jerk himself off like he normally would, Otabek would definitely know what he doing, if he just splashed cold water on himself then it would die down quickly, but he would feel frustrated all morning 

Sighing out, he turned on the cold tap. It was a bad idea to jerk off with his best friend just outside the room, walking back through Otabek was stretched out on the bed, his tshirt rising up and revealing his perfectly toned dark stomach

Quickly looking away, "Want some breakfast?" Otabek groaned, putting his arms behind his head, his tshirt left revealing his stomach without a care

"I didn't know you were such a morning person Yura, don't you just lay in bed for a bit?" Otabek yawned out, normally Yuri did, but right now he had a hot Kazakh man in his bed and he was still feeling turned on

Yuri shrugged, "Sometimes" Otabek begrudgingly sat up, they continued the day as standard. As night strolled around again, Yuri craved to be back in Otabek's arms, but without a scary movie he didn't think it would be a possibility

Laying in bed with Otabek in bed, they were face to face, not really close but it was still close enough to make Yuri's heart beat just a little faster

Just casually talking, Otabek reached over suddenly moving the blonde hair out of Yuri's face, "Does it not annoy you Yura?" 

Feeling his cheeks blush pink as Otabek brushed his hair behind his ear, "I normally pin it back" 

Otabek's eyes lit up, "You do? Why haven't you did it tonight then?"

"Oh uh" Yuri laughed a little, feeling his blush cover his cheeks 

Otabek laughed at him gently, "What?"

"I use.." he couldn't help laughing again, trying to cover his face with embarrassment 

"Fuck Yura your so cute" Yuri still laughed but now nervously, pulling his hands away from his face, Otabek looked embarrassed now, his eyes darting away, which was incredibly unlike Otabek, it made Yuri’s heart flutter in his chest

"Your laugh, I mean, it's uh nice" seeing Otabek embarrassed for once and flustered made Yuri feel so much better 

"What the rest of me isn't cute?" he teased

Otabek smiled, reaching his hand over to stroke his cheek gently moving so his hand was in his hair, Yuri felt his blush coming back, his cool going, "No, your fierce Yura"

Yuri couldn't help his wide smile at, he loved that Otabek always referred to him as strong. Never feminizing him like the media always seemed to do

Before Yuri could say anything, Otabek moved closer, his hand still in his hair, "and strong" Yuri's breath hitched, keeping eye contact with Otabek, they were nearly nose to nose

Instead of saying something seductive and cool, all he could say was, "Uh thanks" as he swallowed nervously. Otabek's face shifted from the intense stare, to a smile, moving his hand away 

"No problem, goodnight Yura" he hummed out as he moved away and turned over

Fuck. Yuri turned to lay on his back, croaking out a, "Night Beka" was Otabek trying to make a move? Had he fucked it up? The not knowing was the worst thing of all, Yuri wanted someone to talk too, was any of this fucking normal? Is Otabek just being a normal best friend?

That night they slept separately not touching, not even sprawling out in their sleep. It tugged at Yuri’s heart, he wanted to replay the first night again and again, he never slept so soundly in Otabek’s arms, but he couldn’t just go curl up on him and hope for the best, his heart pounded as he struggled to sleep, tossing and turning. Before sleep finally took him..


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Best friends just doing what normal best friends do, right?

For all days were perfect together, they were uneventful in the sense of no heated moments, they were never close enough or alone, either in public or on the sofa with Victor and Yuuri

Getting into bed as standard, laying down and facing each other to talk to each other, Otabek smiled at him, "So what do you normally use to keep your hair out your face?" 

Yuri smiled laughing, "I'll show you, but don't tell anyone asshole" sitting up he reached into his draw, slipping on the cat ears then turning to Otabek with a smile

Otabek laughed widely, "Yura, aww" he coo'd, Yuri laughed, taking it off and ruffling his hair back, and laying back down

"Yeah don't tell anyone" he repeated 

"I wouldn't dream of it"

"You need to tell me something embarasing now" Yuri teased, Otabek smiled cheekily, hiding his face a little with his hands, groaning 

"It's bad"

Yuri was peaked with intrest, "What is it?!" he asked excitedly, moving closer and pulling his hands away, Otabek pulled a face still groaning, but still had a huge smile on his face

"Oh cmon Beka! I wear fucking cat ears around the house, because I like it" Yuri still had his hands in his own, Otabek groaned again begrudgingly, but half laughing, moving his hand from Yuri's to Yuri's side

Yuri hitched his breath, he could feel his warm strong hand against his bare skin on his hip, since his tshirt had rode up

"Promise you won't tell?" Otabek asked, looking deeply right in Yuri's eyes 

Yuri nodded excitedly, moving closer, "I promise" Otabek's hand snaking around his waist still under his tshirt

Otabek moved closer as well, back to the point they were at last night, except now Yuri's heart was pounding because of Otabek's hand, Otabek still hadn't spoke, Yuri nudged him gently with his nose 

"Cmon Beka, tell me" he heard Otabek swallow 

"come closer then Yura, it's a secret" there eyes were locked intensely, the atmosphere was thick

Moving impossibly closer, Otabek guided him slightly, Yuri's heart was pounding, their lips were nearly touching, they were so close Yuri naturally closed his eyes

"Yura.. your hearts pounding" Otabek said almost breathlessly, Yuri swallowed, he could feel Otabek's hot breath against his lips

"Is it?" he asked his voice a whisper, he knew fine well it was. Yuri's skin felt hot, everything felt prickly 

"Yeah, so uh, I chemically straighten my hair, it's naturally really curly"

Otabek said his breath hot against his lips, Yuri felt fucking stupid for thinking it was ever more than just learning a dumb fucking secret

Pulling away sharply, "oh" Yuri forced out a laugh, laying on his back as far away as he could get from Otabek, Otabek sighed out, moving to lay on his back too

"Yeah, it's dumb isn't it" 

Yuri hummed as a reply, turning over entirely, "Night Beka"

"Night Yura" 

Waking up in the morning he felt that hardness between his legs, he was still only half asleep, and feeling as frustrated as ever, groaning a little he went to get out the bed, but a hand tugged him back

"stay in bed Yura, it's too early" Otabek sleepily grumbled 

"I need to uh, use the bathroom"

Otabek opened his eyes frowning, as he yawned, his hand still Yuri's hand, "it's normal to wake up with a erection Yura, you do know that right?" Yuri felt his face blush impossibly red, sheepishly avoiding eye contact

"I uh.." he stuttered out, Otabek tugged his hand 

"exactly, so get back into bed" Yuri shifted uneasily, getting back under the sheets, facing Otabek, he knew his face was burning up

Otabek laughed breathlessly, taking his hand off Yuri finally and moving it to stroke the hair from his face, "stop being so cute Yura" he hummed sleepily

Yuri instantly stopped making eye contact, glancing nervously, Otabek shrugged, pulling his hand back and stretching slightly, "I've got one too, don't worry about it" 

Yuri swallowed, looking back to him, "You do?" he asked, his voice unsteady. Fuck knowing that, really wouldn't help Yuri with his own 

Otabek gave him a little sleepy smile, "Yes, it's not a big deal, now can you go back to sleep? Or do you have to jerk off?" he yawned as if it was all so casually natural

Yuri bit his lip, "uh, I'll sleep, night" he went to roll over, but Otabek tugged him again 

"I don't mind if you want to deal with it" Yuri swallowed hard, he felt impossibly hot

"oh..." was all he could manage out, Otabek smiled at him still, just a half asleep, I'm so fucking hot kinda smile, pulling his hand back, Otabek shrugged gently 

"It's just a option, I'd do it too if it would make you feel better"

Yuri's eyes went impossibly wide, nodding, while Otabek stretched out onto his back, yawning a little, still being so effortlessly cool, Yuri's eyes darted down to the huge tent in the quilt

Otabek laughed gruffly, "You gunna do it too?" 

"y..yes" Yuri managed out, Otabek shuffled under the quilt presuming taking off his pants, Yuri doing the same, feeling nervous as hell

Otabek made the hottest fucking little hum, as his hand clearly gripped his dick firmly under the covers, "mm I like it tight, what do you like Yura?" he asked, so casually as his hand started moving up and down in slow firm movements

Yuri swallowed, not taking his eyes off the movement, until Otabek shifted to face him, cocking his brow, "Yura, hello?" 

Yuri must have looked like a deer in the headlights, "uh, I.. Uh..."

Otabek hummed gently, "Have you lost yours?" he asked, as he was still jerking off openly under the covers, Yuri shook his head, moving his own nervous hand to grip his own dick, biting his lip hard when he did, a little moan escaped his lips

"So, what do you like Yura?" Otabek asked so cooly, making eye contact as he jerked off, his hand moved fast under the sheets 

"uh, I like it, I like it fast" he muffled through his bit lip

Otabek smiled at him, teasing his own lip with his teeth, "Do you do anything else Yura?" Otabek smirked as he continued, "Do you put a finger in your ass?" 

Yuri felt himself going desperately red again, looking away instantly, until Otabek tilted his chin with his finger, "If you do, I can help, if you wanted me too" Otabek shrugged as he pulled his finger away from his chin

Biting his lip impossibly hard, he nodded, not quite sure what he was nodding to entirely, but he did. He wanted anything and everything Otabek had to give, Otabek smiled, "Where's your lube?" 

Yuri shuffled reaching into the nightstand grabbing the lube and turning to Otabek bright red, and breathing heavy, his dick had never felt so hard or heavy between his legs

Otabek kept his smile, as he took the lube and put it on his fingers, his big, much bigger than Yuri's fingers. "Ready?" he asked easily, as if this was something they'd did so often

Yuri nodded, laying back down on his side, Otabek moved over so their dicks touched, Yuri moaned, then bit his lip, "Sorry" 

Otabek inhaled sharply, reaching his hand down to Yuri's ass, stroking a finger at his tight little virgin hole, Yuri moaned again, he couldn't stop himself, Otabek smiled widely

"Why don't you jerk us off while I do this? hm?" Otabek said so casually, but his breathing was heavy, Yuri swallowed nodding 

His shaky hand reaching for Otabek's dick as well, Otabek was big and hard and so fucking hot to touch. Yuri was confident he could get off with anything to do with his dick, so he opted for tight and slow like Otabek seemed to like

Otabek hummed, "That's perfect" Yuri was impossibly hot, and it only got worse when Otabek teased his tight hole, making him gasp and bite his lip again, Otabek smiling at him warmly

When Otabek slipped his finger in, Yuri had to clasp his free hand over his mouth, his eyes scrunching shut, for all Otabek was hot and right in his face, he felt like he couldn't keep his eyes open, he wanted to scream in pleasure

Otabek shuffled impossibly closer, Yuri moved his clamped hand, their lips were nearly touching, "you gotta be quiet okay Yura" his hot breath against his lips, just as his finger went in deep and out, Yuri gasped again nodding, biting his lip again

His hand still moving, but it was becoming non rhythmic, there was too much going on for him to focus. Otabek teased in a second finger, "oh my god fuck" Yuri panted out, opening his eyes Otabek was biting his lip too, Yuri felt so amazingly full, it felt the best he'd ever felt

"Does this feel okay?" Otabek asked, in his low cool voice, Yuri involuntary shuddered, scrunching his face, as he tried his hardest not to let out a moan, he knew he was tensing up around Otabek's fingers, he came the hardest he'd ever came, his legs shaking 

He didn't think it could any better, until Otabek's fingers went even deeper and he did a low barely there moan as Yuri felt hot cum against his chest

Yuri couldn't help himself, he was having such a good orgasm, he gripped onto Otabek's shoulder tightly tugging him in firmly for a hard kiss

What he didn't expect was for Otabek to kiss him back, his strong tongue teasing Yuri's lips, so he opened his mouth, kissing Otabek was everything he ever wanted. It was exactly what he thought it would be like, strong, overpowering his own mouth, he felt like he was on a cloud

Then it all seemed to end so quickly, Otabek pulled away with a happy sigh, “Do you want to shower first?” Yuri’s face almost dropped but he stayed composed, he was thinking the first words out of Otabek’s mouth would be something like, ‘wow’, ‘Are you gunna be boyfriends with me or not?’ not do you want to shower first

Resisting the urge to say wait what, he cleared his throat, “Er yeah, first shower sounds great” 

Otabek smiled moving away, “Yeah I think most of it got on you, sorry”

Yuri watched as the gap between them got far too much for him to take, staring down at his own body, his tshirt was practically soaked, “Mhm” was all he could manage out, feeling incredibly self conscious as he got up from the bed, practically jogging to the bathroom, he still had nothing on his lower half  


Locking the door behind him, Yuri quickly turned on the shower then sank down to the floor resting his back against the door, what the fuck.. His heart felt like it was sinking, all of his emotions bubbling to the surface

That was his first anything, and it was with fucking Otabek, yeah it was a person he’d only really known for a few months, but fuck he was smitten. Entirely besotted with the Kazakh teen, who just seemed to take it as nothing

As Otabek always seemed to do with anything and everything, Yuri curled himself up, resting his head on his knees, wrapping his arms around himself, he felt dirty and messy but he didn’t want to move yet

He felt like crying, but he also felt empty, did that even mean anything to Otabek? Does Otabek just do that with all of his friends? Did he do this with fucking JJ when they were rink mates?

Yuri’s head was swimming, the bathroom was slowly filling up with steam around him, sighing shakily, Yuri finally got up from the floor, stripping off his tshirt and getting under the hot water

Washing away all rementants of the morning, he’d just have to forget it, he’d just have to deal with it like Otabek was seeming too, like it nothing, because to Otabek it seemed like nothing

How could Otabek make him feel so full and so empty all at once? His thoughts stopping as there was a tapping on the door, “You okay Yura? You’ve been a while?” Otabek called through

Turning off the tap, he quickly called back through, he didn’t want to make things weird between him, he was still his best friend after all. He was only his best friend as it turned out, “Yeah” he tried to sound confident, wrapping a towel around him and quickly opening the door

Otabek was frowning slightly looking at him curiously, Yuri did cock a brow then, “What, I like long showers” he shrugged, trying to play it cool, Otabek kept his frown 

“If you say so, is there a towel in there for me?”

Yuri nodded humming as an answer, walking past Otabek, who yawned and stretched up, he was fully dressed now, still in his bed clothes obviously, not that Yuri even knew what Otabek looked like naked, they were both covered by the damn quilt

“Won’t be long” Otabek said still yawning lazily as he shut the bathroom door behind him, Yuri wanted to scream in confusion, he had it so fucking bad, he never wanted someone so fucking much, who didn’t seem to want him in that way, but then what the fuck was this morning about?! Having a best friend was the most confusing thing Yuri had ever experienced


	3. Chapter 3

When Otabek finally got out of the shower, he had his towel wrapped loosely around his waist, revealing his god like fucking body, Yuri had seen him topless in the locker rooms, but right here in his room, after the morning they’d just had, his head was swimming

Otabek smiled at him warmly as he started brushing his dripping wet hair, incredible was a understatement of how Otabek looked right now, how his ‘best friend’ looked this morning

Quickly averting his eyes, Yuri wasn’t effortlessly cool like Otabek was, his towel was wrapped up covering every inch of his body, he knew he had a good body, but he naturally ran cold, always huddling himself up as much as he could after a shower

Yuri’s mind raced at the thought of getting changed with Otabek in the room, fuck he should have dried off instead of moping around trying to not scream, swallowing as he casually turned around to see what Otabek was doing, he wished he hadn’t, he nearly gasped at the sight

Otabek was bare naked, stretching lazily as he grabbed some clothes, Yuri huddled his towel tighter around him, like a fucking child staring down at the floor

Not that he could ever forget how fucking amazing Otabek’s ass looked, he felt dizzy. How was he so tight everywhere, but still have the best round ass, Yuri wanted to bite it, mark it as his

He’d need to stop thinking about it, his dick was stirring with interest, Otabek spoke up making Yuri turn around again, his face must have been blushed, Otabek was frowning, “You sure your okay Yura?” Yuri’s mouth ran dry, Otabek was wearing white tight boxers now, his bulge prominent 

Yuri knew he had strong legs, but fuck those thighs were chiseled, they didn’t even look like they had a ounce of fat on them. Otabek screamed manly, he wasn’t overly hairy or anything, but he had a perfect, of course it was perfect, patch of dark hair trailing down into his boxers

And he was walking over to Yuri, Yuri quickly looked back to his face, “I’m fine” he spoke trying to sound just about as chirpy as he could do when he thought his voice was going to break

Otabek was still frowning looking less than impressed, he pressed a hand to Yuri’s forehead, it was hot to touch and Yuri just wanted to melt into it

“You’re freezing, cmere” before Yuri knew it, Otabek had wrapped his arms around him, Yuri nearly yelped, Otabek ran his strong warm arms up and down his back and across his arms, for all he was strong and firm, he was so gentle, and fuck so hot to touch

Yuri couldn’t even wrap his own arms around Otabek, he was clutching at his towel desperately so it wouldn’t fall down, Yuri could feel Otabek’s heartbeat against his face, it wasn’t anything like Yuri’s, Otabek’s was a steady beat, Yuri’s was absolutely pounding

“I really care about you Yura” Otabek’s chest rumbled against Yuri’s face, Yuri froze in Otabek’s hold, Otabek cleared his throat almost nervously, pulling away from Yuri, Yuri looked at him with wide eyes, Otabek shrugged as he always did, “Let’s get dressed” his voice wasn’t shaky though as he turned to start pulling his clothes on

Yuri was still clutching at his towel, what the fuck was racing through his head, Yuri hummed, he knew he couldn’t speak his voice would squeak and croak

Yuri was sure his hand was white from gripping his towel so hard, he felt stuck in the spot, Otabek turned to Yuri laughing gently, “Yura, you look like you’ve seen a ghost. Let’s go out for breakfast, my treat hm?”

Yuri nodded, finally snapping himself out it, “Breakfast sounds good” god he was a fucking idiot, Otabek smiled at him but kind of shook his head, “So that would mean taking off that towel?” he spoke teasingly

Yuri felt a blush run across his face, but Otabek was still smiling, his fucking handsome smile, “I’ll leave the room, don’t worry Yura” Yuri spoke up but his voice betrayed him by squeaking like a small boy, “No it’s fine” 

He tried to sound chill, but it was the most unchill he’d actually sounded the entire time, his face only turning more red, Otabek sighed out, “Whatever you want Yura”

Yuri padded across to get his clothes, Otabek casually browsing his phone, Yuri felt like shaking, he had a out, why the fuck did he say it was fine, it wasn’t fine, it was far from fine

For all yeah he knew he had a good body, he definitely didn’t want Otabek seeing it like this, freezing, blushed red, and replaying what Otabek had just said in his head on repeat, ‘I really care about you Yura’

This visit would kill him, his heart couldn’t take anymore. Yuri had never changed so quickly in all his life, the second the towel dropped he’d scrambled to pull his clothes on, not turning around once, thankfully Otabek didn’t make a comment 

Throughout the day it was the same as the days had been through the week, nothing from this morning was brought up, there was no touching, no kissing, Yuri felt himself sulking a little  
Then kicked himself when Otabek had asked for probably the hundredth time was he okay, Yuri snapping, because no he wasn’t fucking okay, he wanted to scream at him, to get into Otabek’s head just for a second to know what he was thinking

But of course he didn’t say anything about that, because that would be talking about it, and talking about feelings Yuri wasn’t sure he should or shouldn’t have, so instead his answer was, ‘I’m fucking fine, will you stop asking asshole!’ as he stormed ahead when they were walking

This visit was going terribly, he didn’t realize he’d walked that far ahead that when he got to the apartment, Otabek wasn’t actually behind him. Sighing out Yuri didn’t bother going after him or calling him, he felt like the asshole here

So Otabek didn’t want him as a boyfriend, Yuri shouldn’t make him suffer for that, he certainly didn’t want to ruin their friendship over it. There fucked up friendship where they apparently get each other off and it’s just nothing?! 

Throwing himself on the bed, he desperately tried to pick up the courage to ask Victor and Yuuri about it, but he didn’t want to be teased, he didn’t want them knowing, fuck he just wished Otabek would hurry up and get back here

Even with things as confusing as they were, he loved Otabek’s presence around him, and he’d be going back to Kazakhstan very soon, then god knows when he’d see him next, in a few months? Sitting sadly on his bed, consumed by his own thoughts there was a gentle knocking on the door

“I’m busy” he called through, expecting it to be Victor or Yuuri, when the door opened Yuri sat up with a face like thunder, “I said I’m fucking busy!” he snapped before he saw Otabek frowning at him 

Yuri blushed red, but felt too embarrassed to apologize, “What?” he snapped, Otabek rolled his eyes, “Do you want me to leave?” again, speaking so casual, cool, calm and collected

Yuri’s heart was pounding, his face felt hot and red, and he’d just screamed at Otabek, he was going to be fucking close to tears at this rate, he was going on like a asshole, but he also couldn’t stop himself

Yuri sighed out loudly, dramatically but this was honestly the most fucking confused he’d ever felt, why didn’t Otabek want to leave himself, if Yuri was him he wouldn’t blame him for leaving at all

“No, of course I don’t want you to fucking leave, I thought you were Victor or Yuuri” he muttered out, having to lose eye contact now, just staring down at the floor

Otabek sat beside him, “So you don’t want me to go home?” Yuri’s heart was pounding before, but now it was racing, his eyes quickly looking back up to Otabek full of worry, “No” he rushed out, “I mean, unless you want too” he quickly added

Otabek rolled his eyes again, flashing him a smile, “Why would I want to leave Yura? I wanted to come visit you remember” that made Yuri finally smile, “And you still want to stay? Even though I shouted?” 

“If I wanted to leave, I’d leave, I wouldn’t do anything I didn’t want to” he shrugged as he spoke, Yuri nodded, feeling his face finally cool down and hopefully be less blushed, damn his pale skin that showed whenever he was the tiniest bit flustered 

“Now if your done having a strop, or whatever it is your doing, I got you something” he spoke teasingly as he reached for the bag at his feet, Yuri’s eyes lit up, “You didn’t have to get me anything” 

Otabek smirked at him, “So should I return it?” now Yuri rolled his eyes, but he’d turned his entire body over to face Otabek now, a smile beaming across his face, “Don’t be a dick” 

“Close your eyes then Yura” Yuri did as he was told, “Hold out your hands” if he could have rolled his eyes he would have, but he held out his hands regardless, he knew he was smiling widely still

“It’s only little, but I saw it and thought of you” Yuri felt something only little and light getting dropped into his hands, opening his eyes, he was a little confused, it was a plain red string bracelet

“I.. love it” he spoke uncertain, but didn’t want to seem ungrateful, looking back up to Otabek with a smile but he knew he looked confused, Otabek smirked, “You love it?” Yuri glanced back down at it, tilting his head a little, what on earth made Otabek see this and think of him

Otabek laughed, “I thought so, you don’t have to be polite Yura. Gimme your ankle” Yuri cocked a brow, okay now he was baffled, “My ankle? Wait hold on, what is this?” 

“Ankle Yura” Otabek spoke firmly, but he had a smile on his face, shaking his head, Yuri went to hold his ankle near Otabek, but Otabek moved it to his lap, pulling down his sock a little, while Yuri watched curiously

Otabek reached for the bracelet tying it around his ankle, panting it gently, looking happy with himself, “It’s.. Nice” Yuri spoke again so unsure of what was happening, Otabek kept his hand on Yuri’s foot, moving to start rubbing it, god this boy would be the death of him

Otabek beamed him a smile, as he continued his casual foot rub, “Yura you look so confused” Yuri looked down at his foot, he was, he was so fucking confused and not just by this new red bracelet he’d acquired, but also why the Kazakh man casually rubbing his feet

“I’ve got one too, so we match” Otabek shrugged as he continued speaking, continued with his foot rub, “I saw it at a gift shop, I went in to get you a little tiger plush to cheer you up when I saw them. It just means were connected, no matter where we are, how far from each other we are, even if we haven’t seen each other in months” 

Yuri hummed, as he always did in response whenever Otabek did anything that left him breathless. If that wasn’t the sweetest fucking thing he’d ever heard, and then it was all taken away, “Yknow like friendship bracelets” 

Yuri didn’t need to guess what being stabbed in the heart felt like, he was pretty sure what he just felt was exactly right, forcing out a laugh, he tried to make light of the situation even if he just wanted to be swallowed up from everyone and everything

“What are we 13 years old..” he couldn’t even continue Otabek diving on him tickling his sides, Yuri burst out laughing, Otabek practically on top of him tickling him laughing, “Stop Beka! Stop!” Yuri laughed out breathless

Otabek held his hands firmly in place up his tshirt on his sides, but did in fact stop, so now he was just on top of Yuri, with his hot strong hands practically engulfing his slim body, Yuri didn’t think that was any better, because now he was face to face with his handsome Kazakh best friend who’d just fucking got them matching friendship bracelets

Otabek was beaming him a cheeky smile, “Don’t you dare take it off, were connected Yura, you and me” this time even Yuri’s hum sounded high pitched, holy fuck, he wanted grab his stupid handsome face and just kiss him until neither of them could breathe 

Flashbacks of this morning sharply took away that desire though, for all he wasn’t rejected, it was pretty much fucking close, he definitely didn’t want a repeat of it, “Your heavy” was all he could manage out, Otabek’s smile fading to a sigh as he moved off of Yuri

“If you think there dumb, you don’t need to wear them, it was just a idea” Otabek shrugged, Yuri looked down at the red bracelet on his ankle, he didn’t think it was dumb at all, he thought it was the sweetest most Otabek thing to do

He was sure Otabek was from a different time or something, he said and did everything so casually, always to connect the two of them together, and make them think of each other

“No, I like them” Yuri tried to sound as effortlessly easy going as Otabek was, but he knew his voice was higher than normal, now Otabek hummed at his response, true to his word Otabek tied one around his own ankle, flashing Yuri a smile that almost stopped his heart

How did this man have his fingers literally in Yuri’s most private place just this morning, and now here they were wearing matching fucking friendship bracelets?! Did JJ have something that matched Otabek? Did all of his Kazakh friends have matching something or others? 

While Yuri’s head raced, Otabek so casually set up a movie for them to watch, laying dangerously close to Yuri as he always did, “If you get scared you can come closer you know, it’s a horror I think” 

“Mhm” Yuri hummed, fuck Otabek, fuck these damn feelings, fuck how calm Otabek was, Yuri couldn’t go more than 10 minutes without his voice cracking or squeaking, he couldn’t take his eyes off his bracelet, it was the sweetest fucking thing anyone had ever gotten him, and the speech that came with it, holy shit

Two more nights with his best friend Otabek, two more morning erections he’d have to deal with, or would Otabek deal with them like this morning? Yuri wasn’t sure of anything at all, all he pretty sure was, that he was infatuated with his best friend..


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still no communication, just more confusing situations..

As expected Yuri got a shock, yelping and hiding his face in his hands, for all he loved horror movies, he still got terrified whenever he watched one, he heard Otabek laugh lightly, then a tight arm wrap around him, Otabek lifting his legs and putting them across his lap

Yuri lifted his head out of his hands, looking up to Otabek whose face was right in his, a hand stroked through his hair, “It’s cute that you get so scared” Otabek spoke so quietly it was like a whisper

Yuri felt his face blush, “It’s a scary movie asshole, you’re meant to get scared” he also whispered back, Otabek leaned even closer in, his hot breath against Yuri’s lips, “Want me to take your mind off it?” 

“Er, what would you do?” Yuri wasn’t even sure that Otabek heard him, he was speaking that quietly, all he wanted to do was kiss those damn perfect lips, but he knew Otabek had a terrible habit of making him think something was going to happen, for it only to be a dumb friend thing

Otabek leaned across Yuri’s face, speaking in his low growl of a voice, his lips pressed against his ear, which made Yuri shiver, “What about what we did this morning?” okay now Yuri was freaking out, he could only mean one thing right? 

Yuri swallowed nervously, nodding probably over enthusiastically, but he didn’t want to risk speaking and embarrassing himself, Otabek hummed gruffly against his ear, how was Yuri already getting hard from this, Otabek hadn’t even did anything but breathe into his damn ear

“I need to hear you say it Yura” oh fuck, Yuri knew his voice would croak, he knew it wouldn’t sound like Otabek’s did right now, so calm and collected, not hitching even once. His heart was fucking pounding, trying to clear his throat as quietly as possibly, he shifted a little 

“Ye, Yes” so he stuttered, Yuri knew his face was bright red, it was hot, he was probably sweaty, he scrunched his eyes shut feeling embarrassed, thankfully Otabek was still at his ear and couldn’t see his face, the only light in the room was the from the tv screen, but all Yuri could hear was Otabek’s steady breathing

“Yes?” Otabek asked again, planting a kiss on his ear which made Yuri make the most unsexy noise imaginable, he was definitely sweating, he was probably shaking, but fuck he wanted a repeat of this morning

“Mhm” Yuri practically squeaked, Otabek laughed gently in his ear, Yuri hoped he didn’t noticeably shiver, Otabek pulled his face away, Yuri opening his eyes finally

Otabek had a soft smile, looking right into Yuri’s eyes, Otabek stroked a hand up his side firmly in a reassuring gesture, “It’s okay to say no” Yuri couldn’t help his frown, no no no, he wanted this, he didn’t want his stupid nerves stopping this happening

“I would say no asshole” Yuri wasn’t sure if that was a lie or not, he always stood up for himself, he wasn’t scared of anything, he was the fucking ice tiger of Russia. But around Otabek Altin he felt like nothing more than a kitten, weak at the knees and would do anything and everything he wanted, but right now it wasn’t a lie, it was a definite yes, a firm solid yes god yes 

Otabek cocked a brow, “You’d say no?” Yuri rolled his eyes, “Yes!” he almost snapped, Otabek smirked leaning in closer, “So what are you saying yes to Yura?” 

So Yuri lost his cool again, his face and entire body was impossibly hot, Otabek hand was still firmly on his side, he thought his heart was going to beat out of his chest, he averted his eyes, was this a fucking trick, was Otabek even being serious

Otabek nudged Yuri’s nose with his, their lips nearly brushing together, “What are you saying yes to Yura?” he repeated, I’m saying yes to my fucking best friend possibly jerking me off? Then we don’t talk about it after? And then I have to wonder if any of this is fucking normal or not?!

“Er..” Yuri trailed off, he couldn’t say anything, he just wanted his answer of a firm yes to be enough, luckily Otabek saved him, well a little bit

When Otabek went to pull away Yuri couldn’t help himself, “Wait” he quickly managed out, holding Otabek’s hand in place on his side, but Otabek was smirking, which made Yuri let go of his hand nervously

Otabek moved his hand, Yuri didn’t even have time to worry, he felt his hot fingers trailing across the bottom of his tshirt, “Are you saying yes to me taking this off for you?” Yuri wasn’t sure if he wanted to roll his eyes, or die, he wanted to scream yes, anything yes! 

“I said yes Beka” he grumbled, Otabek laughed gently, leaning down again so he was back to being face to face with Yuri, Yuri breathed shakily, Otabek brushed his lips across Yuri’s, Yuri instantly shutting his eyes, feeling himself melt because of the touch

“Can I kiss you?” Yuri knew he definitely couldn’t answer, instead he took the risk, leaning himself forward and kissing him with his eyes scrunched shut, he didn’t want Otabek to pull away, he didn’t want this moment to end

Yuri felt Otabek smile against his mouth, “That wasn’t a yes” he spoke teasingly, but thankfully stopped talking, kissing him again with his strong take charge mouth, holy fuck Yuri thought he would cum in his pants just from these kisses

When Otabek swiped his tongue teasingly across Yuri’s lip, Yuri made a noise that sounded a lot like a whimper, and yes he was definitely sweating, and probably breathing heavy against Otabek’s face, but if Otabek minded he didn’t make it known, his tongue instantly taking advantage of Yuri’s open mouth and kissing him like nothing else mattered

Yuri was lost in the fucking kiss, he didn’t think he was doing a very good job, he kept accidently clashing his teeth against Otabek’s, not that he could even apologize, Otabek never seemed to mind, just continuing to kiss him deeply

It mustn’t be Otabek’s first kiss, he was so controlled, so fucking good at it, Yuri yelped suddenly when he felt Otabek’s hot strong hand pulling up his tshirt, Otabek pulled away instantly taking away his hand, “I just got a shock” Yuri quickly rushed out, it was true, he entirely wanted this, whatever the fuck this was, he just didn’t expect Otabek’s hand suddenly to be on him like that

Otabek looked at him firmly, Yuri felt uneasy under his gaze, had he pissed him off? “Yura, you can stop or say no at any time, but you need to promise you’ll tell me?” he spoke softly but stern, Yuri exhaled steadily, “I would, I promise” 

Otabek starred unmoved, his face searching Yuri’s for any possible doubt, Yuri hated that he ruined the moment they were having, of course he would fucking yelp, and nearly did again when he felt Otabek’s hands go back to his tshirt, whenever Otabek touched him he felt electric

Then it dawned on him what he was saying yes too, that would mean being topless in front of Otabek, “Wanna stop?” Yuri shook his head, Otabek didn’t give him any time to back out after that, pulling his tshirt off, Yuri sat up so he could pull it off properly

But now he was face to face with Otabek entirely topless and feeling incredibly on display, quickly taking Otabek’s head in his hands he kissed him hard, Otabek wincing when their teeth clashed yet again, fuck Yuri was burning up, he knew his entire body would be red and flushed as well, but if he just kept kissing Otabek then he’d never know

So that’s what he did, his dick was painfully hard trapped in his tight jeans but he wasn’t going to make that leap to take them off, he didn’t think his hands could work that much to take them off anyways, they were practically shaking holding Otabek’s face

He felt Otabek go to tug away, panic running through Yuri like a cold sweat, he held on keeping his eyes firmly shut, until Otabek stopped kissing him, speaking with their lips pressed together, “Relax Yura, lay back” 

Yuri swallowed slowly letting go and opening his eyes, Otabek looked at him with a concerned face, gently pushing him onto his back, Yuri let himself be lead, Otabek’s fingers trailed down his chest, past his stomach, Yuri arching into his touch 

Stopping at Yuri’s belt, “Let’s get comfortable” Yuri bit his lip to stop him making any unnecessary noises, as he nodded eagerly, Otabek smiling at him as he didn’t hesitate, undoing his belt with deft hands, how could anyone be this composed at all times?!

Yuri couldn’t help but stare, he knew he had a bright red flushed chest, that he was biting his lip, his hair hanging messily around his face, and there was Otabek, working his strong muscular arms undoing his buttons on his jeans as if this was the standard

Maybe it was for Otabek, but that didn’t make him feel any better, especially when he heard the unzipping of his own jeans, he bit his lip even harder to stop whimpering, fuck he was nervous, he just wanted to be kissing Otabek again

Everything else seemed to not matter when he was kissing him, or when they were impossibly close, “Lift up Yura” Otabek smooth hushed voice got Yuri out of his own head, Yuri knew he was slim and petite, that was just his body and it worked for him in ice skating

But looking down now, at Otabek’s hands holding his jeans ready to pull them down, his hands looked huge compared to Yuri’s body and slim waist, the contrast in skin colour as well, Otabek was so tan, the term tall dark and handsome really did apply to Otabek

Whereas Yuri was small, pale and pretty, Otabek hadn’t really seen his dick before either, would it be something he’d like? Was Otabek even fucking gay or was he just fooling with Yuri so they could both get off? 

“We can stop..” Yuri didn’t let him finish, shaking his head, finally letting go of his now very sore lip, “No, it’s good, I’m, I’m good” he mustered out, lifting his hips up as Otabek pulled his jeans off, taking off his socks and then lifting his foot up to his face

“Beka what’re you doing?” Yuri asked his voice a scared whisper, he hated his fucking feet, he knew Otabek had seen them before, and he knew that Otabek’s were like his, but it still didn’t make him feel better, Otabek just hummed as he smiled, planting kisses along his plastered and constantly sore foot

“I love your little feet” Otabek spoke matter of factly, like it was so obvious, like it wasn’t a weird thing to say, Otabek moved Yuri’s leg to his other side so he was firmly in between Yuri’s slightly spread legs, Yuri could see his boxers tenting, he never felt so on display or nervous

He went to bite his lip again, but Otabek leaned over him stroking along his lip as he shook his head, “It’s sore” Yuri moved his teeth away, he was breathing heavy, Otabek leaned down to plant a barely there kiss on his bottom lip, before he pulled away again

Since he wasn’t biting his lip anymore and everything seemed to move so damn fast, he couldn’t help the gasp that left his mouth as Otabek tugged off his own shirt, smirking down to Yuri, Yuri couldn’t blush anymore than he currently was, he couldn’t feel anymore hotter than he already did, he was sure he would be sticky to the touch

But Otabek, Otabek didn’t have a blush, from what Yuri could tell anyways in the darkened room, he was breathing steady, he didn’t gasp or whimper, his hands weren’t shaking as he started undoing his belt, he didn’t fumble with the buttons and now fuck he was taking them off

Yuri knew Otabek was big, he had felt him this morning, but seeing him in those tight white boxers with a erection, it was a different story, he was fucking huge. Yuri wasn’t small, but it was a different kind of big

Otabek slowly leaned down, caging Yuri in under him, which Yuri didn’t mind at all, but holy fuck he squirmed when he felt Otabek’s dick brush against his own, his teeth automatically biting his lip to stop him from making a noise

Otabek smirked, thrusting down slowly and firmly, Yuri shutting his eyes in pleasure, this was it, he was going to cum in his pants before Otabek did anything to him

He let a moan he definitely shouldn’t have let out when he felt Otabek kissing up his jaw to his ear, “Shh Yura” Otabek whispered into his ear, his voice was so rough, it was steady, but it was more of a growl than anything

Going to clasp his hand over his mouth, Otabek held his hand against the bed by the wrist, which went straight to Yuri’s dick, looking at him with wide eyes, Otabek started roughly kissing him, Yuri whining quietly into his mouth as he tried to kiss back as urgently as Otabek was giving him

His other hand had to grip Otabek’s hair tightly, it all felt too good, Otabek grinding against him in firm slow movements, Yuri couldn’t help himself wrapping his legs around Otabek tightly, rutting up against him from the bed

Yuri got a shock when he felt Otabek pant against his mouth, his hips moving harder and slightly faster, he let go of Yuri’s wrist, flipping them over so Yuri was now the one on top, Yuri pulled his face away slightly, “You okay?” Otabek asked instantly, Yuri had never seen Otabek so fucking perfect

Yuri was the one sweating, his blonde hair matted and dripping slightly, hence why Otabek’s forehead was slightly damp his own dark hair sticking to it, his eyes looked darker than normal, full of lust, his voice rough when he spoke

Yuri nodded, but he was unsure what he should be doing as the person on top now, Otabek stroked his hands down his sweaty back, Yuri cringed but Otabek didn’t seem to mind, “Can I touch your ass?” Otabek asked, Yuri swallowed, he didn’t know in what way Otabek meant, but fuck right now, he could do anything

Barely even finishing his first nod, Otabek’s mouth was back on his, taking control of the kiss, Yuri melting into his hold, moaning against his mouth when he felt Otabek’s hands slip into his boxers and cup his ass firmly

Rocking Yuri’s hips down and creating some more perfect friction, Yuri felt powerless to do anything he felt weak, he was happy Otabek was controlling the situation, he was just limp in his hold, constantly breaking away from the kiss to moan

Otabek moved his lips close to Yuri’s ear again, breathing lightly down it, causing Yuri to shiver and moan, “You’re being too loud Yura, not that your noises aren’t going straight to my fucking dick, because they are” Otabek started nibbling Yuri’s ear as he spoke, the tone of his voice making Yuri feel electric all over his body again

Yuri felt lost in pleasure, he wasn’t even feeling nervous anymore, he was still bright red and flushed, sweating like he was sick or something, but he honestly forgot about everyone else, that Yuuri and Victor were dangerously close 

“But, I need you to be quiet right now okay” Otabek growled as he spoke, Yuri was panting hard, as he tried to steady himself, “Mhm” he spoke shakily, he felt like he was going to pass out, he was so close to cumming, it was impossibly hot in the room, the air was thick and all he could feel and smell was Otabek, it was like a perfect wet dream

“Good, not a sound Yura” Yuri nodded as Otabek started kissing down his neck, it was hard not to make a sound, Otabek felt so fucking good, his strong mouth and tongue lapping all over his neck, it was so sensitive, and fuck Yuri wanted to scream when Otabek grazed his teeth over his neck, he definitely gasped, but it didn’t make a sound

He didn’t want to do anything to make Otabek stop, he tilted his neck more, giving Otabek more access, he was breathing so heavy he’d be embarrassed if it all didn’t feel so overwhelmingly good

Yuri felt himself getting moved onto his back again, the kissing on his neck didn’t stop, and when Otabek was on top of him, his mouth started moving lower, kissing along his collarbones, Otabek gently shushing him as he continued kissing along his chest

Yuri didn’t even realise that he was letting out quiet whimpers, moving his hand over his mouth just in time as Otabek took his nipple into his mouth, Yuri arching himself up into his mouth, oh fuck why did that feel so fucking good

It was like he could feel Otabek’s tongue across his dick, when all he was doing was working his strong tongue and mouth against his nipple, Otabek kept kissing even further down, Yuri had his hand clamped so fucking tightly across his mouth, he felt like he was going to pass out

Feeling Otabek suck hard onto his skin, Yuri could only presume he was getting a hickey, and honestly he didn’t give a fuck, he wanted to be marked by Otabek, when he felt Otabek tug off his boxers, that’s when Yuri’s nerves came back

Otabek lifted off him to pull them all the way off, his mouth was glistening with spit as he smiled right at Yuri, with that fucking handsome reassuring smile, his hair was a bit of a mess, he looked amazing, Otabek stroked his hands up Yuri’s thighs

“You look fucking perfect Yura” Otabek hummed out happily, Yuri moved the hand that was clamped over his mouth, smiling back a uneasy smile, he definitely didn’t feel like he looked perfect, he never felt so dischelieved in all his life

Otabek flashed him another cheeky smile, before lowering himself down, licking a firm stripe up his dick, Yuri couldn’t help himself, “Ota, Otabek!” he yelped, Otabek instantly looked up to him with a cocked brow

Yuri looked at him like he was crazy, “What, what are you doing?” Yuri rushed out, he didn’t expect this, he thought they’d just jerk off together again, it took him by surprise, all his previous nerves were rushing back to the surface

“I was going to suck your dick, do you not want me too?” Otabek spoke so easily, like he hadn’t just said that, like they’d did this casually before, again normalising this whole entire thing, that Yuri seemed to the only one confused by

“Er, that, that’s not what we did this morning” Yuri knew he was speaking fast, speaking nervously, but he didn’t for one second think he’d be getting his first blow job right here right now 

“Oh, do you want me to finger you again while you jerk us off? I don’t mind” deadpan, entirely deadpan. Like he was saying what they were having for dinner tonight, his face was still pretty much in Yuri’s crotch, so close to his hard dick

Resisting the urge to just scream at Otabek what the fuck is this, what are we?! Yuri just stammered out a answer instead, “Um, no, this, this is fine” 

It was far from fine, it was unreal, it was the best feeling in the world, it was crazy, it was confusing and it was all happening so fast, Yuri’s head was spinning

Otabek frowned a little staring at Yuri, before sighing slightly, closing his eyes then going back to licking up Yuri’s dick, Yuri’s hands gripped at the sheets, oh fuck, this was happening

He didn’t know that a tongue would feel this fucking good, not even just any tongue, Otabek Altin’s tongue. The boy he’d had the biggest crush on since meeting him a few months ago, the most effortlessly cool person he’d ever met

Who was currently nestled between his legs, licking up his dick as if it was something delicious, then Yuri’s head went blank, he had to stop looking, throwing his head back against the quilt, as he fought everything in his body not to make a noise, or cum this embarrassingly quick

Otabek had taken him actually in his mouth now, lapping at the head, Yuri thought he could fucking see stars, letting out a low whine when Otabek wrapped his hand around the base, moving it in time with his mouth

This was it, he was going to die getting head from the hottest person in the fucking world, okay so that was dramatic, but he was going to cum, incredibly soon

Repeating oh my god in his head, his hands were gripping the sheets so fucking tightly, his toes had curled into the sheets, panting out quickly, he didn’t give Otabek much warning “Beka, Beka!” he practically screamed, so much for being quiet

Oh fuck, it all happened so fast, Otabek pulled off, probably about to tell him to be quiet, when Yuri came, watching mortified as he came all over Otabek’s chin and mouth, Yuri was breathing so heavy, that was the best orgasmn of his life, oh shit

To Otabek’s credit, all he did was smirk, rolling his eyes as Yuri quickly shot up, “Fuck, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry. I, I tried to warn you, shit I didn’t think, I’m sorry” he rushed out, as he grabbed his discarded tshirt wiping desperately at Otabek’s face

Otabek just laughed lightly, “It happens” he shrugged it off, does it Otabek? Does this kind of thing just fucking happen to you?! Yuri still felt guilty, but he stopped cleaning him off, apparently Otabek Altin was just fucking use to people cumming all over his face by accident, that’s exactly the kind of thing Yuri would love to know after getting his first blow job

Otabek sat up stretching up since he’d been in a cramped position, Yuri’s eyes darted to Otabek’s still very real, and still very big own erection, Yuri swallowed, he was just going to risk, leaning forward he planted a kiss on Otabek’s muscular stomach, Otabek humming in approval, stroking a hand through Yuri’s sweaty mass of hair

“You don’t have to Yura, no pressure” Yuri would roll his eyes if they weren’t already shut, Otabek hadn’t made him feel pressured at all, he felt confident he could back out at any point and Otabek would just roll with it, but he wanted this

Even if he was nervous as fuck, he wanted to give Otabek pleasure, or at the very least try his hardest. If Yuri’s kissing was anything to go by, his head skills wouldn’t be good either, but that wasn’t going to stop him

“Lay back then” he almost snapped, but it was just nerves, he was thrown off by the comment that Otabek made, then he knew he wanted to do a good job, but didn’t feel confident 

Otabek did as he was told, but pulled Yuri down on top of him instead, staring at his face with a unimpressed look, “If you don’t..” Yuri cut him off, “I want too” he wasn’t really fighting his case though, as that definitely came out as a snap

“Yura, cmere, don’t be stressed, it’s just me” before Yuri’s head could swim with a million and one things, Otabek leaned in to kiss him, making him feel like the only person in the world

Yuri did want to just kiss him endlessly, but he could also feel Otabek’s erection digging into him, and it made him feel guilty, he wanted to pleasure Otabek, like he had just did to him, shaking just slightly he pulled away, kissing down Otabek’s jaw and neck, trying to have the confidence that Otabek did when he did this to him

Otabek hummed in approval, which boosted Yuri’s confidence, but wasn’t foolish to think that when it actually came down to sucking his dick that he would do a good job

Not having the patience that Otabek had though, he skipped over his entire torso, sitting on his heels, he tugged at Otabek’s boxers, Otabek lifting his hips up as Yuri pulled off his boxers, and holy fuck Otabek was now entirely naked in Yuri’s bed

So Otabek was cut, Yuri hadn’t seen a cut dick before in his life, he was big, thick and dark, Yuri swallowed nervously, not taking his eyes off of it, nearly jumping out of his skin when he felt Otabek’s hand stroke his leg

“You can stop at any time Yura, only do what your comfortable with” resisting the urge to snap at him and yell he was comfortable, because he wasn’t, even Yuri couldn’t lie to himself like that

“I, I’ve never seen a cut..” what the fuck does he call it, penis, dick, cock, “..one, before” Otabek kept his idle stroking of Yuri’s leg, a little soft smile on his face, “It’s just the same, anything you do will be perfect Yura” 

Yuri nodded, looking back down at it, right, just the same, as all of the other dicks he hasn’t touched before, or put in his mouth, just the same, got it

Well it was now or never, leaning himself down he was just going to mimic what Otabek had done to him, starting with a long firm lick, Otabek inhaled deeply and Yuri took that as a good sign, it didn’t really have a taste, nothing unpleasant, nothing delicious, but Yuri couldn’t help but want more 

Lapping his tongue tentatively at the head, Otabek made a quiet hum of approval, not really sure how exactly he should be working his tongue and mouth, so Yuri just opted for what he did when he was kissing Otabek, minus the teeth clashing of course

The bit he was nervous about was obviously trying to put it in his inexperienced mouth, without catching it with his teeth, if it was anything like kissing, he was all teeth and no tongue as it turned out, not that Otabek complained but he knew it himself

It would definitely stretch his mouth, he felt like he’d probably choke, especially when he got a taste of what must have precum, ew, just a little bit gross. It wasn’t the worst taste in the world or anything, but Yuri couldn’t say he’d like a mouthful of it

Well it was do or die time, opening his mouth over Otabek’s stupidly big dick, he was breathing fast through his nose, as he started going down he realised he was definitely going to choke, and that’s exactly what he did

He gagged, right on Otabek Altin’s dick, pulling his face away slightly he felt tears forming in his eyes, Otabek stroked a hand through his hair, gathering it off his face, Yuri would say thanks if he didn’t have a mouth full of dick

Okay so he couldn’t take much more than he was currently taking, and that wasn’t a lot, he moved his hand to join in, trying to bob his head in time with his hand, but he couldn’t keep a rhythm going, he was too worried he was going to gag again and throw up all over him

But Yuri was enthusiastic, working his tongue as much as he could over the head of Otabek’s dick, it was a glorified hand job really, but Otabek hadn’t made a complaint, and he still had a erection, so it must have felt somewhat good

Even if Yuri’s jaw was hurting he was going to power on, then he heard the words he’d been dying to hear, “Yura, fuck, you feel so good. You’re gunna make me cum” Otabek quietly panted the words out, which made Yuri feel like the happiest person alive

Yuri didn’t stop what he was doing, working Otabek through it, and waiting for him to cum, then when he did, of course Yuri would gag, the bitter cum landing on his tongue so suddenly shocked him, practically retching over Otabek’s dick as he came 

When he was sure Otabek was finished, he pulled his face away, grabbing his poor discarded tshirt he’d used to clean up Otabek’s face and spat into it, crumpling it up and throwing it to the floor, it genuinely wasn’t the worst taste in the world, but Yuri didn’t fancy swallowing it

Otabek was smiling at him, sighing out dreamily, “That felt perfect Yura” he hummed, Yuri felt the blush he was sure he’d had the entire damn night spread back across his face, Otabek laughed gently, “Cmere” 

Otabek outstretched his arms, tugging Yuri to lie across his chest, Yuri was definitely the happiest he’d ever felt. Pulling the quilt over them both as he snuggled his face into Otabek’s chest, Otabek wrapping a tight arm around his body

They were both naked, Otabek wasn’t really sweaty, but Yuri was, and Otabek didn’t seem to mind at all, he planted a kiss on Yuri’s head, tilting his body slightly so that their legs entwined and his other arm was wrapped around him as well

Yuri’s breathing was actually at a steady pace, feeling entirely relaxed in Otabek’s arms, his head on his chest listening to his heartbeat, he didn’t want this moment to end, he didn’t want Otabek to go home, and he didn’t want tomorrow to start, for all Yuri knew right here, right now would be the last time he was ever like this with Otabek

Yuri’s eyes fluttered shut, Otabek hummed, “Did I take your mind off of the movie?” he spoke teasingly, Yuri sighed into his hold, he wanted to tell Otabek to just shut the fuck up. Unless he was professing his love for Yuri, he never seemed to say anything good apart from ruin the moment whenever they were like this

This time was no exception, fuck the fucking movie, “Mhm” he squeaked out, “Night Yura” Otabek yawned as he spoke, but still kept his tight embrace “Night Beka” Yuri would really need to just talk it out with Otabek one day, or night, preferably before he left, but right now, Yuri just wanted to try and enjoy the moment


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Silly boys have silly fights..

Waking up still wrapped up in Otabek’s arms, Yuri was too tired to want to be coy, and he guessed Otabek was still sleeping, nuzzling his face further into his hold and sighing gently, he didn’t want this time to end

Hearing Otabek hum sleepily, Yuri’s heart skipped, well fuck. But he felt a hand stroke up his back, the other one running through his hair, and a firm kiss get planted on his head

“I wish I could wake up like this every morning” Otabek hummed out gruffly, Yuri’s eyes flashed open, that was definitely speaking about something, “You, you do?” Yuri asked, not wanting to lift up his head and actually see Otabek’s face when they were talking about this, it would take away his nerve

“Mhm, it’s nice not having to go to practice and get up at 6” Otabek yawned, hm, so is that what Otabek meant or did he mean having Yuri in his arms? Yuri hummed in response, his eyes fluttering down sadly

He sucked his dick yesterday, he could just ask Otabek casually, what the fuck are we? He could, and he was going too, and if Otabek didn’t want to be friends after then fuck him, because you don’t do this shit with someone who’s just your damn friend, or did you, Yuri was still unsure if he was being totally honest with himself

“Beka..” he started but then Otabek’s phone started ringing, Yuri begrudgingly moving out of his arms so that he could answer it, “Hello?” Yuri stared at his face, he loved how messy Otabek’s hair was on a morning, it wasn’t very long but when it hung messily and undone he looked wild, Yuri just wanted his hands running back through it again

“Why are you in Russia Jean?” huh, no, no fucking way was JJ interrupting Otabek’s week here, “I’m only here for one more night, I’m heading back home tomorrow” 

What the fuck, Yuri was sure he was staying two more nights, tomorrow was no time at all, especially if fucking JJ was getting involved 

He felt overwhelmingly full of jealousy, so was Otabek just like this with all his fucking friends, he knew they were rink mates, god knows what the fuck else

Who taught Otabek to kiss like that, to expect cum just in his face sometimes, ‘it happens’ well it doesn’t fucking just happen to Yuri, and he didn’t want to make a habit of it, he was damn special

He must have been glaring, he wasn’t even paying attention to what Otabek was saying on the phone, but Otabek looked worried, “Okay, see you tonight Jean, bye” Yuri glared at him, he didn’t fucking want to know, if he wanted to hang out with JJ and do god knows what he could

“It’ll only be a couple of hours Yura” Otabek spoke gently, reaching a hand to pull Yuri back over to him, all of Yuri’s bravado was gone the second he was laying face to face with Otabek again, Otabek stroking a gentle hand down his slim body

Yuri nodded, Otabek leaned in, kissing him with soft morning kisses, their breath was warm and probably didn’t smell great, but Yuri felt like he was on a cloud right now

When Otabek pulled away he was smiling at him like he was the most important thing in the world, “I might even sneak you some alcohol” he spoke with a teasing smile, Yuri’s eyes lit up a little, “What? Where’re we going?” 

Otabek looked confused, “Were you not listening Yura?” Yuri shook his head, “Oh, Jean’s in Russia, he wants to go to the club tonight for a few hours. I said we’d hang out with him, since I’m leaving tomorrow and probably won’t see either of you for the next few months, I thought it was a good idea”

Yeah the fucking best, but Yuri resisted his comment and his eye roll, instead pondering on what the fuck Otabek was going to be like with JJ, or even Yuri for that matter in public, but it was hard for his mind to ponder on those things when Otabek tugged him back in for slow deep kisses, gently stroking down his back and holding him close

Yuri just melted, it was hard not to get lost in these kisses, his mind still raced with the fact that Otabek was going home tomorrow, but he was still pretty distracted to care too much

When Otabek pulled away he smiled at him, the kind of handsome fucking smile that made Yuri’s heart flutter, and his face blush, “I’m gunna shower” Otabek announced, planting a kiss on Yuri’s nose then ambling across the room to the bathroom

Yuri sighed out dreamily, but mostly confused, and much to his dismay and utter confusion, that was the last kiss they shared all morning, no more touches, no more cute moments, yeah they had a good time, they always did together, but just not exactly what Yuri wanted 

 

In the club Yuri thought he would feel electric, he thought that the music would be amazing, that JJ wouldn’t turn up or get struck by lightning or something, that he and Otabek would dance together and Yuri’s face would be so buried into Otabek’s big strong broad chest that it wouldn’t matter that they were surrounded by people on the dance floor, then the alcohol would give them courage, would let them talk about things and the night would end with Otabek being his boyfriend 

A reasonably presumption of the night right? So why was Yuri currently stood listening to awful club music, stuck with fucking JJ, while he was sober, and Otabek..

Well Otabek was currently mingling with some fucking idiots that they’d bumped into, one just happened to be a DJ and they were joking about how bad the music was, but yet none of them tried to leave, it made no fucking sense to Yuri, they could be at Yuri’s fooling around again surely?

It infuriated Yuri, he didn’t want to see fucking JJ at all, and now he was stuck with him, while Otabek..

Otabek had one girl practically draped over him, while she giggled annoyingly and made sure to stroke across his chest every time he spoke or said something remotely funny

Yuri knew he was glaring, it wasn’t like Otabek was smiling or anything at the situation, but he also wasn’t trying to get away from it. All the while JJ was incessantly chirping in Yuri’s ear, Yuri felt his face burning up 

He knew he was getting tears prickling his eyes, but he couldn’t give a fuck. Otabek was leaving fucking tomorrow, he was probably going to fuck this girl, or JJ, or fucking someone, anyone who wasn’t Yuri

Because all Yuri was, was someone to keep his dick warm for the week. Getting pulled out of his own thoughts by someone stroking his face, Yuri flinched, glaring at whoever touched him, but his angry face was met with JJ’s concerned one 

“Are you crying Yuri?” JJ asked, it annoyed Yuri even fucking more that JJ sounded sincere, that he didn’t call him one of his many pet names of ‘kitten’, ‘princess’ or ‘fairy’ 

Yuri felt like how he always felt, if he opened his mouth then his voice would croak and give it all away, that the tears wouldn’t be coming out as anymore than a slow trickle, but then he’d be full on crying, right in the middle of a slightly busy club

JJ was still frowning sadly, wiping away at his face with his big but gentle hands, “You okay? Want to get out of here?” Yuri turned to look at Otabek, and he really wished he hadn’t. There was another girl there with him now, two draped all over him as if he wasn’t way out of their league

Fucking assholes, and Otabek was the biggest one of all. He couldn’t have all of Yuri’s firsts and treat them like there nothing, they’re fucking something, because Yuri was fucking something

Feeling this overwhelming flood of emotions, Yuri turned to JJ grabbing his face roughly and tugging his mouth to his. Their teeth clashed, because of course they fucking did, Yuri couldn’t kiss for shit, but he wasn’t going to let that stop him 

The only thing he really hoped was that JJ wouldn’t pull away, he couldn’t handle two rejections in one night. Yuri had his eyes scrunched shut so he couldn’t see what JJ was looking at him like, whether his eyes were still open or if he had shut them too

Then he felt JJ kiss him back, just as roughly as Yuri had kissed him, minus the teeth of course. Yuri felt a wave of sickness spread over him, it felt so wrong, but when JJ tried to tease his tongue in, Yuri opened his mouth letting himself be controlled

He felt sick, he felt more tears coming down his face now, but he wasn’t going to fucking back out now. Otabek be damned, Otabek be fucking damned, Yuri was special, he wasn’t just something you could just throw away the next day

Even when he’d fucked up while kissing Otabek, it still felt like everything he could possibly want, it still made him blush and sweat in the best possible way, it made his heart race and pound, like everything he ever did in his life was a build up to that moment

Kissing JJ, Yuri felt wrong, he felt weak in all the wrong ways. The more JJ’s tongue worked itself against Yuri’s, the most Yuri wanted to retch, he had almost identical hair to Otabek, but when Yuri stroked his undercut, it felt sharp, it made his hands shake

Pulling away firmly when he heard JJ almost groan into the kiss, JJ’s eyes opened confused, still leaning partially in, Yuri quickly averted his gaze, staring back over to Otabek and his new fucking girlfriends

But Otabek wasn’t there, Yuri’s heart sunk into his chest, had he left them to go do god knows what, with whoever the fuck those tacky club girls were?

“Yuri, what was that about?” JJ asked, Yuri turning to face JJ who was now blushing and spoke almost nervously. Yuri felt fucking guilty, but he also felt more tears threatening to stream down his face if he wasn’t careful

“I’m going home” he quickly rushed out, turning and practically running out of the club before JJ could say anything more or stop him. He wanted to go home, he wanted to go back to this morning or last night, when everything was perfect, well as perfect as it can be with your best friend who you just happen to want more than anything in the world

More than fucking gold, more than being at the top of the damn podium. He wanted Otabek so much it made his heart ache, the cold temperature outside sharply hitting his face, as Yuri inhaled deeply, trying to calm his breathing and stop these fucking tears from falling

Otabek wasn’t worth his tears, he wasn’t worth anything, feeling a hand tug at him almost sharply, Yuri turned around just as a fucking tear finally escaped from his eyes

Otabek was glaring at him shaking his head almost angrily, “What the fuck was that in there Yuri?!” Yuri’s sadness was immediately replaced with fucking anger, his face twisted angrily as he grabbed Otabek hard by the shoulders shoving him as hard as he could into the wall

Otabek’s face fell, Yuri kept his tight grip on Otabek’s shoulders, giving him a piercing stare, “What the fuck was that in there?! Are you fucking serious Otabek?!” 

If Yuri was having a moment of clarity, he’d know he should never hit, hurt or attack someone, but Yuri wasn’t having that clear moment he so desperately wished he could have. He was having a very clouded moment, all of his better judgement was pushed out, like it always was when he angry 

“Do you like JJ?” Otabek rushed out, Yuri loosened his grip but still didn’t let go of Otabek’s shoulders, his face shaking angrily, “No I fucking hate stupid fucking JJ..” 

Otabek pushed Yuri off of him, his turn to shake his head now, Yuri almost yelped at how rough Otabek had pushed him, but then Otabek started yelling, and Yuri felt himself shaking, his eyes wide

“If you don’t fucking like JJ why the fuck were you kissing him Yuri?!” Yuri felt the tears stinging his eyes again, wrapping his arms around himself tightly, he knew his fucking voice was going to croak

“I don’t know..” he trailed off himself his voice cracking as he spoke, Otabek sighed loudly his tone clearly pissed off, “You don’t know? You don’t know why you were kissing JJ?”

Yuri shook his head swallowing slowly trying to compose himself, he didn’t want to fucking start crying in front of Otabek, he wanted this all to be a bad dream

He’d never seen Otabek look angry, wait, why the fuck was Otabek angry?! Yuri quickly glared at him, speaking up before Otabek could say anything else

“Why the fuck do you care anyways?” he snapped, he wanted it to sound aggressive, but instead his voice was still croaky, Otabek quickly shook his head rolling his eyes

“I don’t care Yuri, kiss whoever the fuck you want” Otabek went to storm past him, Yuri regretting his snap, “Wait” he called trying to grab his arm, but Otabek yanked it away, “We’re going in the same direction, there’s no point talking here” he spoke coldy, still briskly walking away, it didn’t even seem like he cared if Yuri heard him or not

Yuri followed, trailing behind like a lost little puppy. Wiping at his face angrily whenever he felt a stupid damn tear fall from his face, thank god Otabek was storming ahead

Why the fuck was he pissed off anyways? Did he have feelings for JJ, for Yuri? Or did he just see Yuri as his own fuck toy and no one else's? Yuri’s mind raced with angry confused thoughts, he was fucking freezing, he felt himself shaking uneasily

What kind of conversation would they even have when they got back to Yuri’s.. Would Otabek still spend the night? The thought of Otabek yelling again made him shiver, the angry look on his face, he still looked stupidly handsome, he still looked like the same Otabek he’d always known, but he’d never seen that side of him

Yuri could only imagine how pathetic he looked, he’d dressed up nice, trying to impress Otabek of course, he’d pretty much worn his welcome to the madness clothes, the tight leather made his ass look amazing, his loose ripped vest, it made him look older, he’d thought he looked good

But not good enough for Otabek to want to be around him apparently, and now Yuri just felt silly for even bothering to dress up, Otabek hadn’t dressed up, he was wearing what he normally wore, tight black tshirt, tight black jeans, leather jacket and boots, but he was always effortlessly cool, he never needed to make a effort 

And he was still storming ahead, no sign of slowing down, he didn’t even check once to make sure Yuri was still following him, and that tore at Yuri’s heart more than seeing him with those girls, even a fucking friend should check to make sure your okay right?

Yuri didn’t know anything anymore, he just kept following, his arms stinging from the cold, Otabek had told him to wear more clothes, but Yuri hadn’t listened, wanting to impress him of course, Otabek had let him wear his leather jacket to the club, to keep him warm

That nice memory left a bitter taste in Yuri’s mouth, that was before, before he’d kissed fucking JJ, and they’d had a dumb fucking fight, Yuri wanted to scream, but mainly Yuri just wanted to pretend today didn’t happen, to go back to yesterday..


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the fight..

When they finally reached Yuri’s street, Otabek had walked that far ahead that Yuri didn’t see him until he turned the corner, leaning up against the wall, waiting, Yuri exhaled shakily, his legs felt weak

Otabek didn’t speak or acknowledge him as Yuri walked past to unlock the door, Yuri felt sick, he thought for sure he was going to throw up or faint at any given moment

Thankfully since it was late when they walked in the apartment Victor and Yuuri looked like they were sleeping, the house silent and dark, quietly walking into Yuri’s room, Yuri didn’t know if them being asleep was a good or bad thing, he didn’t want them to wake up if Otabek yelled or if Yuri lost his temper and yelled himself, which was probably likely

Why the fuck were they even arguing anyways? What was Otabek’s problem? It wasn’t fair and it wasn’t right, Yuri wasn’t property to own, he was something fucking special damnit

When Yuri heard the bedroom door close, he turned around nervously, but Otabek’s face didn’t look angry, he was frowning sadly at Yuri

“Yuri, fuck, your freezing, why didn’t you tell me, I’d have given you my jacket” Otabek shook his head, as always feeling a whirlwind of emotions with Otabek, first of all, he was calling him Yuri, he never called him Yuri, not ever, it was always Yura, and second of all, how the fuck could he have given him his jacket?! He was storming miles ahead, but the words caught in Yuri’s mouth

Otabek sighed, “Cmere” Otabek moved closer wrapping his arms around him, Yuri shut his eyes, taking in Otabek’s strong scent of cologne, the smell of his leather jacket, the feel of just being in his arms, it was all he ever fucking wanted, this night had turned into a disaster

Otabek spoke up again, “I’m sorry I yelled.. I’m sorry I pushed you, I shouldn’t have done that” Yuri didn’t respond, he wanted to stay exactly where he was, he was starting to warm up, so of course Otabek pulled away right at that point

Looking at him with a concerned face, keeping his hands on Yuri’s arms, “I’m sorry Yura” Yuri nodded, he didn’t even know what he say, he felt drained, he didn’t want to fight with Otabek, he just wanted things back to how they were, even if that was minus the kissing

Otabek sighed again, pulling away entirely, “Fuck Yuri, I’m confused as hell” Otabek shrugged as he spoke, Yuri’s eyes widened, wait what? Before Yuri could even say anything, Otabek spoke again, “Get changed for bed, you’ll catch a cold” 

Otabek quickly picked up his bed clothes then headed into the bathroom locking the door behind him, Yuri once again left standing there completely speechless and unsure of anything 

He still did what Otabek asked though, he was absolutely freezing, he felt numb, both inside and out. He didn’t want to kiss JJ, of course he didn’t, it still made him cringe when he thought back to the feeling of their mouths together

Snuggling himself up in bed, he waited anxiously for Otabek to come back in the room, his words repeating around his head constantly, Otabek thought he was confused?! Yuri had been in a state of complete and utter confusion for the past god knows how long  
When Otabek came out he looked torn, pausing as he stood beside the bed, “Do you still want me to sleep in here with you?” Yuri nodded, Otabek sighed loudly getting into the sheets but not laying down

“Yura, I’m sorry if you ever felt forced into doing something that I wanted to do, I just wish you’d communicate with me” Otabek seemed stressed, but Yuri felt himself seeing red, sitting bolt upright glaring at Otabek

“Communicate with you?!” he yelled, Otabek looked taken aback, Yuri didn’t let him speak, he felt his heart pounding in his chest, “What the fuck do you want me to say?! I, I, don’t have a clue what goes on inside your head Otabek. You make me want to scream..”

Otabek laughed, his damn handsome calm laugh, “I make you want to scream, Yura seriously, I’m so fucking crazy about you. I thought we were kinda dating, and then I turn around and your kissing JJ?” 

Yuri’s jaw dropped, “D.. Dating? I thought we were just, best friends?” Otabek cocked him a brow, “What fucking best friends do this?” 

Yuri wanted to scream, but thankfully kept his voice to a indoor one, well mostly, “How the fuck should I know?! You’re my only friend Otabek, I felt fucking crazy for wanting more from you” 

Otabek shrugged his shoulders, “What, I kept getting the vibe you weren’t interested, you didn’t react to anything, you just froze like I was making you uncomfortable, or yknow just nodded”

Yuri’s head was swimming, was he seriously hearing this right now? Was Otabek even being serious with this entire ordeal?! 

After what felt like an eternity of just staring at each other, Otabek cleared his throat speaking up first, “So, why did you kiss JJ?” 

Yuri felt his face blush, his eyes averting for the first time, “You had girls draped all over you” Otabek hummed, “Annoying club girls, they weren’t my type at all”

Yuri looked up, Otabek was still staring right at him, with a little frown on his face, “Wh, what’s your type?” Yuri stuttered, but his heart was pounding rapidly in his chest, he was happy they were talking, finally at fucking last, but what if he didn’t like the answers he was going to get?

Otabek rolled his eyes, reaching a hand over to tug Yuri’s legs across his, keeping his hand on Yuri’s calf and stroking gently up it, “Is it not obvious?” Yuri shook his head, his tongue felt 10 sizes too big for his mouth, it was so dry he thought he’d choke if he tried to speak right now

Otabek sighed before he spoke, but he had the start of a cheeky smile on his face “Fierce, strong, doesn’t give a fuck what anyone else thinks, blonde, Russian, sound familiar?” Otabek spoke teasingly, continuing his gentle strokes of Yuri’s leg, Yuri felt himself blush, feeling brave he shuffled closer, a smile creeping across Otabek’s face as he tugged Yuri on top of him

Yuri’s heart was pounding, so now he was straddling Otabek, Otabek looking up to him a smile still spread across his face, as he stroked up Yuri’s back firmly, Yuri tentatively moved his hands to stroke through Otabek’s undercut, okay so they were finally fucking talking

So Yuri should engage in conversation like Otabek was doing, so why did he feel so lost for words all of a sudden. Otabek rolled his eyes, “This is exactly what I mean, I don’t know if I’m coming or going with you. What do you want Yura? You need to tell me”

Yuri wasn’t confident he could speak, he could only seem to talk freely when he was angry, and right now he felt as far from angry as he possibly could, swallowing deeply, he leaned in quickly, praying he wouldn’t get turned away

To his pleasure he didn’t clash their teeth together, pausing at just the right time to just land firmly on Otabek’s lips, “We need to talk” Otabek breathed against his lips, but made no effort to move, instead his strong mouth leaning in more and kissing him 

Yuri’s heart fluttered, they did need to talk, it was the one thing that Yuri wanted, but also felt like it was impossible for him to do, he couldn’t help freezing up and especially right now his head was spinning

Otabek was crazy about him? Otabek thought they were dating? Otabek had fucking known all along that this wasn’t what people who are just friends do? Why hadn’t he said anything?!

Yuri almost whimpered against Otabek’s mouth, this was perfect, this was all he had wanted all damn night. On top of Otabek with Otabek’s hands stroking all over his back, Yuri running his own hands through his undercut and hair, and deep bruising kisses 

But as usual with Otabek, he always seemed to know when Yuri was at his most content, pulling away at just the wrong time, Yuri tried to follow his mouth, Otabek giving him a hard closed kiss, whispering across his lips, his breath hot, Yuri swallowed deeply, he still hadn’t opened his eyes

“Yura.. Do you just want to fool around?” Yuri’s heart dropped, if that was all this was, then why did Otabek say he was crazy about him? Yuri thought they were going to talk, granted he hadn’t helped that along, but he didn’t think a kiss would lead back into the title of, just ‘fooling around’

Yuri didn’t want to open his eyes, they were still so close, he could only tell because he could feel Otabek’s hot breath against him, but he didn’t know if Otabek had opened his eyes, so if he just shook his head he didn’t know if he could even see

Trying to speak coherently and without stuttering, Yuri opened his dry mouth, unsure if he even could speak at all, “It’s, up to you” was all he could muster, as shamefully as he felt, if Otabek just wanted to fool around he would do it right now, he wanted that side of Otabek more than anything 

He didn’t really think Otabek would want him as a boyfriend regardless, but then Otabek groaned stopping his hands moving across Yuri’s back, pulling his face away, Yuri finally opened his eyes, he knew he was red, but Otabek was shaking his head and rolling his eyes

“Yura, fuck, it’s not up to me” Otabek nearly snapped when he said it, his voice raising, he looked completely annoyed, and that made Yuri sink 

But Otabek didn’t give him time to respond, shaking his head again, “Do you want to just fool around with me?” his eyes staring right into Yuri’s, he looked angry, Yuri knew his face was probably dropping more and more as Otabek spoke

Otabek swallowed and cleared his throat before he spoke this time, his angry face seeming to ease, “Or.. Do you want to be my boyfriend or not?” Otabek spoke firmly, shrugging as he said it, “I can’t make up your mind about that, you need to use your words and tell me”

Yuri’s jaw dropped, and his face was definitely bright red, he could feel the heat in his cheeks, all over his body, his eyes were wide, and fuck he still hadn’t said anything, Otabek sighing out

“Whatever you pick, we’ll still be best friends. Even if you just want to be that” 

Okay so Yuri desperately needing to say something, and very fast, but fuck he felt glued to the spot, he felt starstruck. Otabek Altin had just asked him to be his boyfriend? Did he even hear him right? Was that even a possible outcome for tonight?

Otabek moved his face even further away resting it up against the headboard as he shrugged, “You kiss me, but then you kiss someone else. You don’t speak about anything, and you freeze up most of the time if I try and say something, just like your doing now.. I’m sorry if your uncomfortable talking about this, but I need to know what we are Yura”

Yuri nodded, he wanted to know what they were too, Otabek had thought they were dating this whole time. It was now or never, Yuri’s mouth had never felt so dry, “B, boyfriends” he tried to sound casual, if he felt like he could move at all he would have shrugged like Otabek always did after saying something like it was nothing

Otabek’s face didn’t look impressed, “Boyfriends?” he asked, in a are you serious tone, Yuri didn’t know if this was a trick question with a trick fucking answer

“Er, that was an option wasn’t it?” he knew he sounded uneasy when he spoke, like had he fucking imagined the whole thing, but then Otabek laughed, his low deep handsome barely there laugh, as he shook his head in disbelief

“Yes it was a option Yura, but is that what you want?” Yuri nodded, probably too eagerly, but hearing that it was in fact a option and possible outcome for this entire mess made his heart pound

Otabek rolled his eyes, but was still smiling widely, “Nodding isn’t a answer, this isn’t a nod now, then when I go back to Almaty and you break up with me, or kiss other people. Boyfriends..” Otabek spoke firmly, when he said that word, pausing as he shrugged, “Boyfriends, are a serious thing”

Yuri almost laughed, almost. If he was cool like Otabek he would have laughed, but he was awkward. But the fact that Otabek even thought that it was a possibility that Yuri would break up with him was fucking crazy, or that he’d kiss someone else, all he ever wanted was Otabek

Yuri nodded again, “Boyfriends” he tried to sound casual, but his voice squeaked as he spoke, which made him cringe, but it wasn’t like his face could get any hotter or redder, his mouth any dryer

Otabek laughed, leaning in and resuming his hands stroking up Yuri’s back, staring right into Yuri’s eyes, “Boyfriends? You and me, Yuri Plisetsky?” okay so Yuri wasn’t sure if he was getting fucking tricked or what, but he felt himself snap

“Yes fucking boyfriends asshole!” Otabek kept his firm smile that was spreading from ear to ear, planting a kiss on the end of Yuri’s nose, “That means no more kissing..”

Yuri rolled his eyes, playfully pushing him this time, “That was one time” he mumbled, then he quickly remembered why he’d did it in the first place, well he still wasn’t quite sure what was going through his head as to why he did it, but he remembered the jealousy and anger he’d felt seeing Otabek with those girls, his eyes quickly turning into a glare

“No more letting girls drape themselves all over you” he snapped, Otabek kept his damn handsome smile nodding, “But men are okay?” 

Yuri went to open his mouth and snap aggressively, but Otabek burst out laughing first, “I’m teasing Yura, everything and everyone I want is right here” he squeezed Yuri closer to him, Yuri’s breath hitching as he put his hands back around Otabek’s neck

“Yeah?” he practically whispered, but it still hadn’t hit him what they were currently speaking about, it hadn’t hit him that what they were currently doing was communicating, which is something that if they had done on day one, none of this ugly mess would have happened

“Yeah” Otabek spoke just as quietly as he leaned in, kissing slow and deep, Yuri felt like he could drown in Otabek’s kisses. His mind still raced with who taught Otabek to kiss like this, how many people had Otabek actually been with, but that would require more communicating and he felt like he’d had more than enough of that tonight, instead he just let himself melt into the kisses

Yuri finally had the thing he’d wanted so damn much from this visit, it tore at his heart the thought of Otabek going back home tomorrow. He was also a little unsure on what would change, they already spoke constantly, so maybe it wouldn’t be that much of a difference

But still knowing that Otabek was all his, and that he could kiss and touch him like no one else could, that was pretty perfect. They’d already made a long distance friendship work, they could make boyfriends work too, right?

Yuri’s breath hitched and he was pulled back into reality when he felt Otabek’s hot hand tentatively go under his shirt and tease it up, “Can I take this off?” he asked, Otabek’s rough voice got Yuri every damn time, he shivered nodding

“Yura, no matter what, you need to promise me, if you want me to stop or not do anything you’d tell me?” Otabek spoke so firmly, it cut right through Yuri, as he opened his eyes, Otabek was looking at him in all seriousness, no teasing smile, no rolling eyes 

Yuri swallowed, “I would” even his voice betrayed him, it didn’t sound sure of itself, just like Yuri wasn’t sure if he would actually tell Otabek no or not. He hoped he would, but so far he’d never wanted his answer to be a no, it was a constant definitely yes

Otabek frowned, his hot hand still on his bare back making Yuri sweat, but that didn’t take alot, he wasn’t even sure why Otabek wanted him as a boyfriend really, he’d seen how messy he could get

“It wouldn’t make me feel or think any differently about you, you know that right?” Again Yuri would like to think that he thought that was true, but he couldn’t help the feeling of if he did say no, it would disappoint Otabek, that he’d be letting him down, even if Otabek didn’t show it at the time, but he wasn’t in a situation yet where his answer was a no, so if he was being honest, he didn’t know how he’d feel at that time

Yuri nodded, but then quickly spoke, communicate, he tried to repeat to himself, “I know” he tried to speak firmly, like Otabek did, no stuttering, no squeaking, but whenever Yuri tried like just now, it sounded unsure and uneasy

Otabek kept his frown, but Yuri cut him off before he could react, “I promise” nodding as he spoke to try and get his point across, Otabek held eye contact, but lost his frown, “So I can take this off?” 

Yuri nodded and swallowed, his mouth was still so dry, he was surprised he’d been able to speak at all. Otabek’s hot hands ran up his back as he gently tugged off Yuri’s tshirt, making Yuri feel electric all over from just a simple stroke

Not wanting to be the only one topless though, Yuri quickly reached for Otabek’s tshirt, Otabek smiling softly as he tugged his own tshirt off

Yuri didn’t think he could ever get use to the contrast between them, Otabek was so broad, he had a strong muscular body, he screamed manly, no wonder Yuri’s mouth ran dry and his face went red, he didn’t think he could ever get his head around how amazing Otabek actually looked

Or that he was his boyfriend? Yuri felt a little self conscious, he didn’t know why Otabek would want him in that way, the way Yuri longed for him, Yuri knew he had a pretty ‘fairy’ face, he knew he had a good body, it wasn’t broad or muscular, it was slim and toned

Yuri’s worries seemed to melt away when he felt Otabek plant hot kisses up his neck, Yuri whined, yes actually whined, instantly biting his lip again so he wouldn’t make any more embarrassing noises, his hands grabbed at Otabek’s back, the feeling of their chests pressed up together, the air was thick and Yuri felt he couldn’t breath, it was all too much

Yuri was thankful that Otabek had his face in his neck, that way he couldn’t see the way Yuri’s face scrunched up as he desperately tried not to make a noise, holy fuck it felt so good, Otabek had started the neck kisses slow and gentle

But now Otabek was breathing heavy against his neck, licking and teasing his teeth across, his strong big hands firmly running up and down against his back, Otabek moved his face up to Yuri’s ear, nibbling it and teasing his tongue against him, it made Yuri tingle all fucking over

Why did that feel good? Yuri didn’t have time to guess, because his heart was too busy skipping a beat when Otabek hummed into his ear, “Wanna fuck you so bad” he’d never heard Otabek sound so worked up, Yuri wasn’t sure if that excited him or scared him, just a little

Since Yuri was pretty sure he’d frozen up, Otabek exhaled deeply, moving away from his ear, Otabek’s face actually looked a little red this time, “Sorry” he kept his hands still holding Yuri’s lower back, his face looked embarrassed 

“I, it’s okay” Yuri spoke nervously, shifting a little in Otabek’s lap, it was okay, it was more than okay. Yuri never felt so turned on, but he was also a little scared about losing his virginity

Otabek shook his head, “That was too fast, I’m sorry” Yuri tried to pass it off, “No we can” his voice was higher than usual, and he never felt more relieved when Otabek frowned at him

“No Yura we can’t, your not ready and that’s fine” Yuri gave him a little smile of relief as he nodded, Otabek rolled his eyes moving them so Yuri was now underneath him, Otabek safely caging him in

“Talk to me remember” he spoke firmly but softly, Yuri couldn’t help his smile growing, feeling dumb he leaned back in for more kisses, Otabek thankfully just smiling into it as he kissed Yuri back

Yuri could feel Otabek’s clothed erection rutting against his own, Yuri was breathing heavy into the kiss, the words that Otabek had said replaying in his mind, the way he had said it, it made him feel impossibly hot

Yuri let himself get excited by it, not letting nerves take over since he knew that wouldn’t be a possibility that it would actually happen. He almost wanted to cringe at himself that he was pretending to go along with it at first, if Otabek hadn’t had said no himself, Yuri worried that he would have let it happen himself, that scared him a little

“Can I take off..” Yuri cut Otabek off, panting out a desperate “yes” against his mouth, before pulling him back in for more kisses, Yuri didn’t understand how or why kisses could feel so good, but the feeling of Otabek’s tongue against his own was perfect

Otabek kissed him hard into the pillow, before pulling away, leaving Yuri breathless and red with wide eyes, Yuri’s heart fluttered as Otabek went to tug off his pants, Yuri made the mistake of making eye contact with Otabek

The hot intense stare that Otabek was currently giving him made his breath catch, this was his fucking boyfriend, and holy shit he was the hottest thing. Yuri swallowed slightly nervously as he lifted up his hips, Otabek giving him a hot smile as he tugged his pants and boxers off all at once

Yuri felt himself blush hard, he was entirely on display, Otabek’s eyes raking over him, Otabek’s hands stroked down his body pausing teasingly at his dick, Yuri squirmed underneath him, for all he was red and flustered, he still wanted this more than anything

“What do you want Yura?” Otabek asked, his voice rough, his eyes finally flashing up to Yuri, Yuri quickly looking away from his gaze, nudging Otabek’s legs with his thighs

“You to be naked too” he mumbled, only looking back up when he heard Otabek’s low gruff laugh, Otabek got up off of the bed, pulling down his own pants, and fuck he wasn’t wearing boxers at all

Now it was Yuri’s turn to stare, he really did look like a fucking god, he would make Yuri’s mouth water if it wasn’t constantly running fucking dry. His dick of course caught his eye, it was a little intimidating if Yuri was honest, it was nothing like Yuri’s own

Otabek hummed, Yuri looking up to him finally, Otabek was smirking at him, “So, what do you want to do now Yura?” 

Oh fuck, fucking anything. Anything right now would be fine, but why did Otabek have such a fucking consent kink?! Constantly making sure everything was fine, speaking about it was new to Yuri, and he wasn’t ready to tell Otabek yet that he wanted him in any way he was willing to give

Yuri averted his eyes, “Get back into bed” he knew he mumbled, he knew he spoke quietly, but Otabek still heard him, climbing over Yuri and laying beside him, Yuri turning onto his side as well

Otabek was smirking, Yuri rolled his eyes, “Stop being a asshole” he muttered, Otabek pulled him closer, their erections brushing up against each other, Yuri gasping, “Shh” Otabek hummed, leaning back in to continue kissing him

Yuri melted into the kiss, then of course he fucking flinched when Otabek cupped his ass, Yuri quickly tried to speak before Otabek pulled away, “I got a shock” if Yuri didn’t feel pathetic the first time that had happened, he definitely felt it now 

“So this is okay?” Otabek asked, his voice even, not strained, not croaky, not rasping, perfectly normal and low, just like Yuri wished he could be, but his voice was a yelp

Yuri nodded leaning back in, moaning against Otabek’s mouth when he felt him squeeze his hand over his ass, Otabek smiled against his mouth, continuing his hand motions essentially massing him, which felt so fucking nice

Otabek rolled him onto his back, his hand moving from his ass to stroke his messy blonde hair out of his face, “Can I finger you?” Otabek asked it so easily, Yuri felt so embarrassed just hearing the words, he couldn’t even imagine saying them

“Yes” Yuri managed out, his voice of course at a unsteady tone, but Otabek never seemed to mind it at least. At least he didn’t stutter this time, Yuri’s heart was pounding as he watched Otabek reach over him going into his bedside drawer

Otabek gave him a warm smile as he uncapped the lube coating his fingers with it, then leaning himself over Yuri, straddling himself over one of Yuri’s legs, Yuri swallowed, he could feel Otabek’s dick, his ass, resting up against his leg, his heart was pounding

He didn’t know how Otabek could do this so effortlessly, then Otabek’s mouth was back on his, and Yuri always felt weak when they were kissing, everything else didn’t seem to matter, well until he felt Otabek’s fingers slowly start to stroke his ass

Yuri didn’t gasp this time at least, but trying his hardest not to gasp he realised he’d frozen up, his mouth not even attempting to kiss Otabek back, “Do you want me to stop Yura?” Otabek asked, his hot breath making Yuri’s lips lean forward kissing him gently

Yuri shook his head, swallowing as he spread his legs nervously, he felt Otabek smile against his lips, “That’s perfect, just relax okay” the tone of Otabek’s voice always did it for Yuri, so calm, rough and low

Yuri tried to stop tensing, he knew when he did this to himself if he tensed it always hurt, Yuri tried to exhale calmly, without making it too obvious as he leaned back up to kiss Otabek 

Otabek kept his hand between his legs still, firmly working his mouth against him instead, which was definitely the distraction that Yuri was after, Yuri hummed into the kiss, his body squirming again, he should have felt self conscious really, but he knew how good Otabek’s fingers felt, he desperately wanted them again

Thankfully Otabek didn’t keep him waiting long, easing one finger in slowly, so fucking slowly that Yuri shamelessly rutted down on it a little, then he gasped when he felt Otabek bite his lip, “Fuck Yura, that’s so fucking hot” he spoke exactly how he did when he’d said he wanted to fuck Yuri so bad

And if that didn’t go straight to Yuri’s dick, even when Yuri whined against his mouth, because of course he did. He would whine, he wouldn’t let out a gruff moan, but even after that he still didn’t let it ruin the moment

“Shh” Otabek gently shushed, just as he moved his finger in harder, Yuri’s eyes scrunching shut and his mouth open wide as he let out another moan, “Gotta be quiet baby” Otabek hummed

Yuri’s mind would have raced with the pet name he’d just been so casually called, if Otabek hadn’t teased another finger in, Yuri had to clamp his hand over his mouth, he was useless at keeping quiet, it all felt too good, his entire body was practically shaking with pleasure and Otabek had only just started

Yuri’s head was thrown back into the pillow, Otabek’s fingers moving perfectly inside of him, it was a pretty brutal pace Otabek had now set, the bed was squeaking slightly with his motions

He wasn’t being rough exactly, it didn’t hurt in the slightest, but it was fast, hard and deep. Yuri felt like he could cum without even touching his dick, he didn’t dare move his hand from being clamped over his mouth

Yuri whimpered against his hand as Otabek went even deeper, then he nearly fucking screamed when Otabek moved his fingers in a certain way, moving the clamped hand from his mouth, flashing his eyes open to Otabek’s smirking face

“Feel good?” he asked teasingly, whatever the fuck Otabek was doing with his fingers he didn’t want it to stop, reaching a shaky hand to tug Otabek down to kiss him

Otabek kissed him hard and deep, barely pulling away as he spoke against his mouth, “Be quiet okay Yura” devouring his mouth again with bruising kisses, Yuri was breathing so heavy, his entire body felt weak, then Otabek stroked that spot again

Otabek kissed him harder, swallowing up his moans, Yuri’s spread legs were shaking, one hand was clutching tightly in Otabek’s hair, he would worry he was hurting him if he could concentrate on anything else other than how fucking good this felt 

Otabek’s fingers didn’t stop, Yuri’s other hand reached to touch himself finally, after 3 erratic strokes he was cumming between them, his mouth falling open and a definitely louder than he intended mouth left his mouth

“Shh, Shh, Yura, you’ll get us caught” Otabek quickly spoke, but his fingers didn’t stop, he didn’t make an attempt to kiss him to quiet him either, planting hot open mouth kisses across his face

Yuri tried to muffle his moans, panting through the waves of pleasure he felt, until his hand finally slowed, Otabek’s fingers slowly stopping as well, Yuri’s heart was pounding, he felt like he was floating, he felt entirely weightless 

“You’ve really got to be quiet baby” Otabek hummed against his ear, gently pulling out his fingers and kissing up his ear, Yuri shivered and exhaled shakily as he nodded trying to catch his breath

Getting called baby really wasn’t helping him try to calm down though, his heart raced with how easily Otabek used the pet name

Otabek pulled away smiling his warm reassuring smile right at Yuri, “Want me to go get you a towel?” Yuri looked down at the cum across his chest, then back to Otabek, who had cum smeared across him as well, and oh shit, a big hard dick between his legs

Yuri had totally neglected him, Yuri instantly sat up, his face must have gave away his worry, Otabek laughing gently, “It’s okay Yura”

Yuri eyes snapped up to him, “No it isn’t” he muttered out, “Lay down Beka” he tried to speak firm like Otabek did with him, but Otabek just rolled his eyes

“Yura, seriously..” Yuri cut him off, suddenly feeling nervous, “Do you not want me too?” Otabek kept his soft smile, reaching a hand to stroke over Yuri’s

“It’s not that, I just don’t want you too feel like you have too” Yuri rolled his eyes, “Of course I want too asshole” 

Otabek laughed gently moving to lay back, oh shit, Yuri did want too, that wasn’t a lie. But he still felt unsure and nervous touching Otabek, Yuri moved to be in between his legs, sitting nervously and just staring at Otabek’s dick, Yuri would cringe if he was Otabek

Instead though, he felt Otabek’s reassuring hands stroke up his legs firmly, “Do you want me to blow you?” Yuri rushed out, Otabek shook his head with a soft smile, “Just your hands is fine Yura, if that’s what you want to do anyways” he pressed

Yuri was so fucking virgin it hurt, he hated how embarrassed he got by things like this, unless he was lost in the moment he was useless, shakingly reached for the lube, he paused, fuck did Otabek mean to finger him like he did to Yuri

He didn’t think he’d be any good at it, but he didn’t think he was any good at any sexual thing, not yet anyways. “Like, er, finger you?” he asked, his face burning up, but he didn’t look at Otabek’s face

“No thanks” Otabek replied so calmly, Yuri finally looked up to see his face, he still looked so calm, laying back against the bed, his dick hard and heavy between his legs, but he didn’t look shy or nervous like Yuri always felt like he did

“Are you sure?” Yuri asked curiously, if he actually did want him to do it, he would, he’d just need to apologize if he didn’t do it right, Otabek hummed, “I’m sure, I don’t really like it” he said it with a shrug

That made Yuri feel even more embarrassed, okay so Yuri really fucking liked it. Before his mind could race with a million things about how stupid he felt, Otabek squeezed his leg gently, “Some people like it, some people don’t, I’ve never enjoyed it in the past. If you want to try we can, but I’ll probably stop you almost instantly” Otabek shrugged, speaking about it so casually

So Otabek definitely had a past, which Yuri really wanted to find out more of when they weren’t currently sat naked together, he really didn’t want to hear about the men or women Otabek had been with before him

Yuri nodded, tentatively fumbling with the lube and finally pouring some over Otabek’s big uncut dick, Otabek inhaled, his hands moving from Yuri’s legs to rest at his side instead, Otabek looked so relaxed and sure of himself, Yuri wished he had that kind of confidence

Yuri tried to steady his breathing, putting the lube down he thought back to what Otabek had said he liked. Tight, tentatively running his fingers across the head, Otabek hummed in approval, Yuri’s eyes fluttering from his dick to his face, trying to gage what he reacted to best

Slowly spreading the lube over his dick, he held a firm grip, starting slow going up and down, “That feels perfect Yura” Otabek hummed out, Yuri swallowed as he reached his other hand over stroking at the head, Otabek letting out the tiniest exhale

Otabek was responsive in different ways to how Yuri was responsive, he didn’t whine, whimper or moan like Yuri did, instead he’d let out barely there exhales, he’d hum quietly, he seemed to be able to stay quiet

Yuri tried not to feel angry at the fact that he was probably good at keeping quiet because he’d had practise, he obviously couldn’t be mad at Otabek for being with other people, but he couldn’t help feeling insecure about it

Keeping his tight grip Yuri started to sped up his hand, moving the other hand from stroking at the head to instead wrap both around his dick

“Mm Yura keep doing that” Otabek hummed out, letting out a little breath as well, Yuri wished he could make him lose it like he seemed to do sometimes, when his voice would be a rough growl, but he probably couldn’t get him to that point from a simple hand job

Yuri of course did as he was asked, not that he’d stop anyways, twisting his wrist slightly which was something Yuri liked himself, had the exactly effect he’d hoped it would have on Otabek

Otabek let out a small quiet groan, “I’m gunna cum” Yuri wasn’t sure if he wanted to watch Otabek’s dick, or his face which barely scrunched like Yuri’s did, but his eyebrows knitted together slightly in pleasure, as his mouth fell open

Yuri saw his strong chest breathing heavier, moving up and down, as he hummed again, his dick twitching in Yuri’s hands as he released all over himself, some of it dripping down onto Yuri’s hands, not that he minded, yeah it was a little gross, but it was also strangely hot

Waiting until he was sure Otabek had finished his orgasm, he gently moved his hands away, Otabek’s face instantly spread a smile, tugging Yuri on top of him, Yuri grimaced, “Bekaa, your covered, in, yknow” he blushed

Otabek laughed gently, squeezing him in tighter, now this, this felt fucking gross. Yuri didn’t know where to put his cum covered hands, his now cum covered torso slipping against Otabek’s uneasily, but Otabek kept him held in place

“Kiss me” he spoke with a wide smile, Yuri couldn’t help his smile either, but he was still grimacing, “This is fucking gross” Otabek laughed again, shaking his head a little teasingly, “You felt amazing Yura” 

Otabek spoke so easily, like it wasn’t a lie or anything, Yuri was still skeptical, it was only the 2nd handjob he’d ever given so he wasn’t sure he was any good yet

Yuri blushed, trying to search his face for a lie, but Otabek was still smiling his handsome smile, he didn’t look like he was lying if Yuri was being completely honest with himself

Otabek leaned in, Yuri meeting his mouth, okay so this was really gross and messy, but he let himself get lost in Otabek’s sweet, slow, deep kisses

The sudden realisation that Otabek was going home tomorrow tore at his heart, that he wouldn’t see him again until probably months, Yuri without thinking went to run his hands through Otabek’s hair, instantly grimacing when he realised what he’d done

Pulling away with a apologetic face, Otabek was now grimacing, “I can’t believe you just did that to me” Otabek spoke teasingly, and also mildly disgusted 

Yuri couldn’t help but burst out laughing, “I’m so sorry” he breathed out, as Otabek shook his head but he had a smile across his face, moving to tickle Yuri’s sides, making Yuri squeal with laughter 

Both of them were laughing hard, Otabek relentlessly tickling Yuri’s sides, they were both entirely naked, and absolutely covered in each others cum, then Yuri’s heart skipped a beat, he froze still, his laugh immediately disappearing, Otabek’s hands stilling on his sides

“Yurio?! Otabek?!” Victor screeched, turning his head to look at the doorway, Victor and Yuuri were in their pajamas, hair messy from sleep, and their mouths wide open

Victor looked absolutely scandalised, and Yuuri was bright red, his hands holding his face dramatically, well fuck..


	7. Chapter 7

Yuri didn’t think he could be thankful for anything in this situation, but he found himself eating his words as Otabek quickly pulled the sheet up to cover them, Yuri had just frozen up, his eyes wide and staring at Victor and Yuuri

“Sorry that we woke you both up” Otabek spoke calm, Victor and Yuuri’s eyes darting towards him still with a look of horror, Yuri felt like all the colour had drained from his face, but he felt burningly hot, so he knew that he must have been bright red

As what must have only been seconds but it seemed like a fucking lifetime for Yuri, Victor and Yuuri still had their mouths wide open, still staring in shock at Otabek and Yuri, mainly Otabek since he was the who had spoke up 

Yuri felt his embarrassment turn into anger, “Get the fuck out of my room” he snapped, his hand clutching the sheet higher to his chest, Otabek of course had his so casually low on his waist, revealing the dark hairs around his lower half and not seeming to care in the slightest

Victor turned to Yuri still with the same shocked expression, his mouth wide open, Yuuri still had his hands clasped against his face, Yuri felt himself going redder and redder, he couldn’t believe they’d walked in on them like this, it felt like the worst fucking dream

“Yurio! You’re, you’re.. You’re far too young to be doing this! What were you thinking Otabek?!” Victor yelled, taking his eyes from Yuri to glare over at Otabek, Yuri rolled his eyes, not letting Otabek speak, he was so sick of them both treating him like a fucking child

“I’m perfectly fucking legal asshole..” Victor cut him off, “Just because your legal doesn’t mean your ready! Did he force you into this?”

“Of course he fucking didn’t, you don’t know anything, get out of my damn room old man!” Yuri never felt so angry, Victor could say whatever the hell he wanted to Yuri or about Yuri, but Otabek, Otabek hadn’t did anything wrong, he’d consistently checked if Yuri was okay

Victor took his eyes away from Yuri to glare at Otabek, “Otabek we need to have a serious talk” he spoke firmly, Yuri went to say something but he felt a hand squeeze his leg, he nearly yelped, because of course he fucking did, but thankfully he didn’t

“It’s okay Yura, he’s just worried that’s all” Otabek shrugged, as he always seemed to effortlessly do, Yuri glared at him, then back to Victor, “Your not my fucking Dad, no matter how much you fucking think you are, you have no right..”

Otabek spoke firmly, “He’s just concerned, it’s a reasonable request, I don’t mind” how Otabek could be so entirely level headed, and sometimes just damn emotionless Yuri couldn’t wrap his head around

Yuri groaned annoyed, “I don’t see..” Yuuri spoke up for the first time, “I want to have a word with you as well Yurio”

“We’ll have a shower first, then meet you both in the front room” Otabek spoke clearly, Yuri felt himself losing his temper again

“No we fucking won’t, because I get a damn say in this as well. Can we just fucking forget it, it’s bad enough that you assholes walked in, we don’t need to talk about anything!” Yuri felt like he was being forgotten about in all this, but yet they were so happy to claim it was all because they cared for him

If they cared about him so damn much they’d just shut the door and pretend they never saw anything, but no, instead they all have to fucking talk about it. Like it wasn’t a private fucking moment they’d walked in on

Victor stared straight at Yuri, the same stare that he had given Yuri all of his damn life, the ‘you don’t have a choice’ stare, as he spoke firmly, “I’ll see you both in the front room” then turned and finally fucking left the room, Yuuri following at his heels

Otabek squeezed his thigh again, “Yura..” he spoke softly, but Yuri never felt so angry, turning around to him with a glare, “What the fuck was that Beka? You don’t owe that asshole anything, you don’t need to talk to him about..”

“Shh..” Yuri yanked Otabek’s hand away for his thigh, still glaring at him, “Don’t tell me to fucking shh!” he yelled, Otabek kept a firm frown, moving his leg around the back of Yuri and gently tugging him closer

“No..” Yuri went to snap, but Otabek kept his shushes, wrapping his arms around him and planting a gentle kiss on his head, fuck Yuri felt dumb, he still felt really fucking angry, but he also felt like melting into Otabek’s hold

Yuri ended up with his head against Otabek’s chest, nestled in between Otabek’s legs and wrapped up in his arms, it felt really hard to stay angry, but Yuri being stubborn managed it

Otabek’s chest rumbled against him as he spoke, “I know what your saying Yura, but Victor and Yuuri do care for you, so so much. Even if you don’t want them too, or..”

“I didn’t ask them too! It makes no difference..” Otabek hushed him gently again, stroking down his arms calmly, “It would make me feel better if I could speak to them..”

Yuri tugged his head up from Otabek’s chest, “You don’t need to be made to feel better by those assholes, you didn’t fucking force me to do anything, I wanted to do..”

Yuri trailed off when he saw Otabek smiling at him widely, “What asshole?” he snapped feeling self conscious, “It’s just nice hearing you say that”

Yuri rolled his eyes, “But that’s the point, why the fuck do they need to know what the fuck we do? We’ve only just fucking spoke about it, let alone telling other fucking people”

Otabek laughed gently, stroking Yuri’s matted sweaty hair out of his face, Yuri really should feel more conscious but when Otabek looked at him like he was the only thing in the world, with such a fond smile, it was hard not to feel happy

“You have a point, but, for me, I’d really like to talk to them. I just don’t want them getting the wrong idea, or worrying about you. They just want reassurance that’s all” 

Yuri rolled his eyes again, “How are you so fucking logical?” Yuri groaned as he spoke, Otabek smiled warmly planting a kiss on his forehead, “Let’s shower” Otabek went to get up casually, Yuri felt suddenly glued on the spot

“Together?” he tried to sound casual, but he knew he was speaking higher than usual, he also knew yes they were lying together naked before anyone had walked in, but showering together, that was still something very very new

“Only if you want too, or you could go first, I don’t mind” the whole first showering line brought back confusing memories about Otabek’s first few days here, Yuri refused to relieve a fucking shower like that again

“No, together is fine” Yuri tried to sound cool, he tried to sound effortless, but damn his fucking high voice, Otabek as always didn’t seem phased, smiling at him still as he threaded their fingers together leading the way to the bathroom

Yuri felt fucking silly padding along side Otabek, he felt so small, he felt incredibly on display, his dick obviously not hard at all anymore and that made him feel so self conscious, he wanted to move a hand to cover himself but didn’t dare since Otabek of course wasn’t doing that

His heart also sank into his chest, this was the first fucking time they’d held hands, and despite the size difference, their fingers threaded in together so perfectly, Yuri seemed to take in everything at once

Glancing at their interlocked hands, his eyes flashed to Otabek’s entirely naked and bare bum and back. Yuri felt his mouth go dry, he didn’t think he’d ever seen anything so perfect before

He loved Otabek’s bronze skin, he loved how entirely chiseled he was, how he just didn’t seem to have a ounce of fat on him. He knew he was staring, so when Otabek stopped and turned around to look at him with a beaming smirk, Yuri felt himself blush furiously

“Shut up” Yuri mumbled under his breath, avoiding eye contact at all costs, “I wasn’t going to say a word” Otabek spoke teasingly, Yuri glared up at him, but Otabek just laughed, tugging him in, “Cmere” 

Yuri instinctively wrapped his arms around Otabek’s neck, but Otabek was still beaming him a half smile, half smirk. “If you want to touch it, you can” Yuri quickly stuttered out, “I don’t know what you mean” 

Otabek shook his head playfully, cocking a brow, “So you weren’t just checking out my ass?” since Otabek still had that dumb fucking smile on his face, Yuri couldn’t help the one spreading across his face, even though he knew he was still definitely red

“I thought you didn’t like it” Yuri mumbled, and by mumbled, he barely even whispered it. He didn’t know if Otabek had even heard him, but Otabek kept his smile, moving one of his hands from Yuri’s hips to pull Yuri’s hand from around his neck down to his ass

Yuri felt his heart race, as Otabek didn’t even seem phased, Otabek’s ass felt just as firm as Yuri thought it would, he wanted to knead it, he wanted to bite it, “I don’t like something in it, but you can touch it all you like” 

Yuri swallowed nervously as he gently and very shakily squeezed just a little, Otabek hummed, Yuri couldn’t deny he kind of wished that Otabek did like something, even if he was nervous he couldn’t do it well. The idea of doing things like that to Otabek did stir something inside of him

Not that Yuri would vocalise that, at least not anytime soon. He was still coming to terms with the fact that Otabek was actually his boyfriend now, that they were just about to shower together, and that fucking Victor and Yuuri had walked in on them

It made him want to shudder, getting pulled out of the thoughts racing around his head by Otabek cutely nudging his nose against his face, planting a kiss on his cheek and then pulling away gently to continue heading into the bathroom

Otabek moved around the bathroom so casually, as if he wasn’t even naked, Yuri could only watch him and wish he felt that confident in his own body, well around Otabek, but his hands kept instinctively going to cover himself

Otabek turned to Yuri with his casual warm smile, reaching for his hand, Yuri blushed at just the sheer sweetness of it all, Otabek led them into the shower, the hot water felt amazing, Yuri had felt disgusting, only made to feel better when he felt Otabek’s arms wrap around him

Otabek hummed against his ear, “I know you don’t want to talk to Victor and Yuuri, but once it’s done, they’ll feel a lot better Yura”

It would be easier to get mad all over at the situation if it didn’t feel so good standing in the shower with Otabek’s arms wrapped around him, then Yuri gasped when he felt Otabek’s hands stroke down his stomach across his dick

Otabek laughed gently, “Just cleaning you up baby” instead of freezing up, Yuri felt pretty relaxed with the hot water running over him, leaning back into Otabek’s touch, his heart was still pounding though, every simple touch made him feel electric

Letting out a little moan, when Otabek started planting wet kisses up his neck, his hands still teasingly ‘cleaning’ him, his dick was stirring with interest, Yuri felt lost in his own little world, his legs felt weak, he knew he could never have a shower in here again without reliving this moment

Yuri tried not to freeze up when he felt Otabek’s dick pressing against his ass, trying to swallow and think rationally, Otabek wasn’t even fully hard, he was just like Yuri was, and he didn’t think Otabek would just fuck him in the shower

Continuing the shower in the same vein, it was all very hot and steamy, but Otabek also didn’t let it escalate to anything, it was a little embarrassing when Otabek insisted on washing Yuri’s hair, but the soft compliments of how beautiful he looked made his legs shake

When they’d finally got out, Yuri felt shaky, the combination of the hot steaming water, Otabek’s hands running all over him, pressed tightly together with sweet words, Yuri knew he was bright red, but he also felt confident he could pass it off as a hot shower kind of blush

“Ready?” Otabek asked gently, stroking his damp hair out of his face and tucking it behind his ear, at least he couldn’t get any redder, he nodded, the affectionate gesture temporarily made him forget what they were about to do

Then he frowned, shaking his head, “I still don’t see why we have to do this, their not my..”

“Shh, I know their not. But they still care for you Yura, they still look after you” Yuri opened his mouth to argue, but Otabek shook his head still speaking, “I know you didn’t ask them too, but the fact that they do is still very caring, you owe them that”

Yuri rolled his eyes, mumbling, “I don’t owe them anything” Yuri knew they were going around in circles, but he desperately didn’t want to have this conversation, it really wasn’t any of their business

Groaning out annoyed when he realised that this was going to happen regardless of how badly he didn’t want it to happen, “Fine” he half snapped, Otabek planted a firm kiss on his forehead before taking his hand again, leading them out of the safety of their bedroom

Victor and Yuuri were sat on the sofa, their eyes instantly looking up to the them when they walked in, Yuri rolled his eyes, he felt himself feeling angry already, he wasn’t ready for the questions, he was barely ready to talk to Otabek about anything let alone these two

Yuri if he was being really honest, could sort of wrap his head around why they were worried and wanted this conversation, but that didn’t make it any easier, and he still thought they didn’t have a right to know

But here he was, sitting down on other sofa right beside Otabek, Victor was frowning and Yuuri just looked sheepish, Otabek had his seemingly emotionless face looking at them head on, Yuri shook his head, his foot instantly rocking anxiously up and down on the floor

He really didn’t want to fucking do this, Victor sighed out, “So what did we walk in on?” this first question infruitated Yuri, he could feel himself not being able to control his temper, what the fuck did Victor mean by that?!

“We don’t need to answer any of your damn questions!” Yuri yelled, Yuuri looked at him sympathetically, Victor gave him a look, that annoying look he so desperately hated

Otabek spoke up calmly, “What you walked in on is irrelevant, me and Yuri had been dating, and now we’re official” this was kind of news to Yuri, he’d only been told they dating tonight, by Otabek himself, he didn’t realise, this whole thing was a confusing mess, only made worse now by Victor and Yuuri sticking their noses in

Victor glanced to Otabek with a firm look on his face, “Don’t you want someone your own age?” 

“He’s two years older than me asshole, what about you and your piggy? This is bullshit, I’m not underage, I’m not a fucking little child, and your not my fucking Dad!” Yuri felt his eyes sting with tears as he screamed, feeling more like the stupid little child he was trying not be 

Luckily he wasn’t crying, a tear didn’t escape, but he wasn’t sure why he felt such a flood of emotions. Maybe it was because he didn’t really have a Dad or Mam, neither of them caring for him, only his Grandpa. And that was fine with Yuri, he loved and respected his Grandpa endlessly, and he did a perfect of raising himself by himself

He couldn’t get why Victor and Yuuri seemed to care so damn much about him, they didn’t have too, and he didn’t ask them too

Yuri flinched when Otabek reached for his hand, he didn’t mean too, he was just wrapped up in his head, even though only seconds must have passed, his head was swimming already, he felt so angry, his stupid teenage anger that he always seemed to have whenever he knew he should have a level head

Otabek looked at him softly, Yuri grumbling, “This is just stupid” Otabek turned his head towards Victor and Yuuri, “I agree with what Yuri said, it is only a two year age gap”

Victor was unphased at Yuri’s outburst, and Yuuri was just frowning at him sadly, Yuri rolled his eyes, he hated that Yuuri was so soft and gentle with him, he wasn’t tough and firm like Victor was, he didn’t know which one annoyed him most

“Yuri, I don’t want you to ever feel forced into anything, if Otabek tries to rush you..” Yuri couldn’t help cutting him off again, Victor didn’t know anything, he didn’t know how much Otabek had asked for his consent

“It’s consensual asshole” he gave Victor his best death stare, but as always the older Russian didn’t react, Victor opened his mouth again, but Yuuri cut him off

“I’m sure Yurio wouldn’t do anything he didn’t want to do, and it definitely looked like they were both.. Happy and consenting when we walked in” Yuuri blushed furiously as he spoke, Yuri just wanted to die then and there

Him and Otabek naked and covered in cum would always be burned into their minds, Yuri’s face twisted in disgust, “Are we done yet?” he grumbled, he felt like he couldn’t believe Otabek was being so calm during all this, but it also didn’t surprise him at all

Otabek was always effortless, Victor spoke up again, his voice clear and firm, “How is long distance going to work?” that made Yuri’s heart jump

He didn’t know, he knew he was going to miss Otabek more than fucking anything, he knew he struggled to communicate, so how could they survive long distance? Yeah they already spoke every single day, but that wasn’t boyfriend talk, or was it? 

Since Otabek already thought they were kinda dating, would that mean that they’d managed long distance without Yuri even realising it? Since he’d frozen up, he was happy when he heard Otabek speak up

“We’re already use to a long distance friendship, the only thing that will change, is that we’ll make more of an effort to visit each other. And in the off season, we’ll sort something out, between each other”

Victor gave him a unmoving stare, “I want to speak to Otabek alone” Yuri stood up angrily, “No, we’re fucking done, we’ve answered your damn questions”

Yuri turned to grab Otabek’s hand and lead him away from this entire mess, but Otabek gave him a reassuring look as he shook his head, “It’s fine Yura, I’ll come through when were done” 

Yuri felt like a dumb fucking child, and now the adults needed to talk alone, it was about his and Otabek’s relationship, so why the fuck couldn’t be he there for it? He felt a lump catch in his throat, he was so angry and confused about the whole entire thing

All he seemed to do was shout, Otabek was so calm, Victor was so calm, why the fuck would Otabek even want to stick around for him? He felt his eyes prickling with tears again, “Whatever” he quickly rushed out, storming his way into his bedroom and slamming the door

Wanting to scream as loud as he could, or break something, or even hurt himself, he wanted to skate until his lungs burned and his legs crumbled underneath him, just to try and stop feeling the way he did

Flopping himself down on his bed, his face was frowning, his eyebrows knitted together, his eyes still threatening to water, the only thing that made him feel any reassurance was he’d landed on the pillow that Otabek had been using

It smelted so strongly of Otabek, he was already planning in his head to never change this pillow case, even if it was a little gross, he’d missed that smell so much since Barcelona, the hoody he’d been given had lost it’s smell so fast it hurt

Yuri knew his sheets were also beyond dirty, two teenagers sleeping in them for a week, it was covered in sweat, cum and lube, but Yuri also shamefully knew he didn’t want to change them either, the scent was intoxicating, and if he was Otabek going back home to clean sheets he’d be more than a little sad

Hugging into Otabek’s pillow, he tried to calm himself down, he hated that he always let his anger get the best of him, as time ticked on, he didn’t even realise that he’d shut his eyes, breathing in Otabek’s smell was doing the job of relaxing him

He could only faintly hear talking coming from the other room, no shouting, not like if he was there, sighing sleepily into the pillow he must have dozed off

The next thing he felt was strong, sort of familiar but still not familiar enough for him not to open his eyes immediately, and his heart to race just a little, arms wrap around him, a gentle kiss on his head

“Beka” Yuri whispered, as if just to check it was real, that this was actually happening again, “Sorry I woke you up” Otabek hummed, his hand drifting up his loose tshirt and stroking gently over his stomach

How Otabek could do such casual touches Yuri didn’t think he could ever wrap his head around, if Yuri wasn’t so affected he might have found it relaxing, but instead his stomach had tensed up automatically, he did have a flat toned stomach but he felt self conscious on his side and not on his back

“Relax” Otabek spoke gently leaning over to kiss his cheek, Yuri knew himself, and he knew he wouldn’t, so instead he turned around to face Otabek, a warm smile covering Otabek’s face, which made Yuri melt just a little

If he was confident he’d lean in for a kiss, but he was still half asleep and this whole boyfriend thing was very very very new

“What did they say?” Yuri asked curiously, his face frowning as he remembered the situation before he’d fallen asleep, Otabek kept his smile which Yuri took as a good sign, stroking up Yuri’s back now

“They were just making sure I’d look after you” he spoke easily, Yuri’s frown turned into a glare, “I don’t need looking after” he grumbled, Otabek’s smile didn’t falter

“That’s what I said” he hummed, Yuri should have dropped his glare but he eyed at him curiously, “You did?” Otabek nodded gently

“You look after yourself and always have done, you’re the strongest person I know. But I did say I’d always be there for you, if you ever needed me. I would Yura, if you ever wanted to be weak, even just for a moment, I’d be there for you” 

Otabek always spoke so firm, looking right into Yuri’s eyes as he spoke, no trace of doubt or non sincerity. It nearly took Yuri’s breath away, his glare had softened, but now he just had wide eyes as he nodded 

Hearing Otabek say that to him actually meant everything, Otabek never seemed to see him as or treat as a little child, always telling him he was strong, fierce, powerful, could do anything, Yuri was quite a guarded person, but Otabek was always easy to talk too

Yeah not about serious matters, because Yuri never felt like he could talk about that, but just general conversation. Even from that first day in Barcelona, he’d said he had the eyes of a soldier and that should have made Yuri cringe, because who says that kind of thing?!

But it was the way Otabek says things, Yuri kind of believes him, Otabek continued talking. Telling Yuri all that they’d talked about, it was basically the same things that Yuri thought, was it all consensual, was the age gap not a issue, like it was twenty years and not just two

Asking more about long distance, which Yuri wished he could ask Otabek about himself, but instead he just nodded and listened. Otabek didn’t give him any cause to worry about the long distance being a problem, he spoke so confidently that they’d manage 

Yuri hoped he was right, he thought they would, he just also didn’t understand it, he hadn’t had a best friend before, let alone a boyfriend

Otabek said they’d brought up the issue of protection, but Otabek was clean and he presumed that Yuri was too, Yuri of course nodded as a answer, he’d been with no one else so he must be clean. It was good to hear that Otabek was too, but if Yuri was being honest, it hadn’t even crossed his mind

And then some threats about what they would do if Otabek hurt Yuri, that made Yuri want to shout, but Otabek quickly calmed him, Yuri was frowning, but once again was quickly calmed by Otabek’s smile and that he’d leened in, fucking finally

He’d been dying to kiss him since he wrapped his arms around him, making out in bed, his bed with Otabek Altin, Yuri couldn’t wish for anything better

Well he could, he could wish he was a better kisser, but that would only happen with practise, so unfortunately Otabek would have to put up with his learning, not that Otabek seemed to mind, Yuri traced his fingers up Otabek’s strong sharp jaw as they kissed, his hands ending up stroking through his undercut, it felt like a dream

When he felt Otabek go to pull away, Yuri really didn’t want this to end, following his mouth, Otabek smiling against him as he got turned onto his back, Otabek leaning over him, caging him in under him 

Yuri wanted to wrap his legs around him and not let him go, but he couldn’t at the angle they were at, and even if he could, he didn’t know if he’d have the confidence to do it anyways

Feeling Otabek go to pull away again, Yuri got the message, letting him this time, not that he went far, still only inches away from his face, looking down at him with that damn handsome smile, Yuri knew his face red, when was it not red when he was around Otabek

Yuri could feel how wet and pouty his lips were from kissing, but kissing Otabek was addicting, “Trust me, if I could stay here and kiss you all night I would. But my flight leaves pretty early tomorrow, I wanna get a few hours of sleep” 

Yuri nodded sighing, Otabek laughed above him, “Aw cmon, don’t be so cute Yura. Do you know how much I don’t want to leave?” 

“Then don’t go asshole” Yuri mumbled under his breath, not making eye contact, Otabek hummed, planting a kiss on Yuri’s nose, “Then who’s going to win gold at worlds in two months, if I’m too busy staying here and kissing you” he teased

Yuri rolled his eyes, playfully pushing him off of him, “You know I’m going to win Beka” this was a constant play fight they had, that Yuri never seemed to tire of, who was going to win gold

They’d playfully mock each others skating, tease each other about their known weaknesses, and if Yuri was being honest it only made them both work harder to prove the other one wrong

Yuri landing the jump he’d be failing at all week while flipping Otabek off in the video he sent him, Otabek doing the same but instead of flipping him off he’d just have the smuggest smile

After some gentle arguing about who’s going to win gold, and some tame trash talk, they were both laughing, louder than they should have been, only made worse when Yuri had snorted in the most unattractive way laughing at whatever Otabek had said about his skating

His hands instantly going to cover his face as he practically cried laughing, Otabek doing the exact same, tugging Yuri onto his chest, Yuri curling up as they both slowly and gently stopped laughing 

Otabek was still laughing lightly, his chest rumbling against Yuri’s chest, Yuri had the widest smile across his face, when Otabek squeezed him in tighter, planting a kiss on his head

“I’ll miss you Yura” he hummed, Yuri nuzzled his face in more, his arm across Otabek’s chest tightening, his heart clenched in his chest, he would miss Otabek too. He’d miss him so fucking much that he thought he’d be inconsolable for the first week or so

He had meant what he’d said, he didn’t want Otabek to go, if he was being crazy honest he wanted him to move here. Even when they were just friends he’d wanted that though, he couldn’t imagine anything better than seeing Otabek every day, helping him practise 

“When will I see you next?” Yuri mumbled, Otabek let out a sigh, stroking a hand through Yuri’s hair, which had now dried, but it was more than a little tatty, Yuri was thankful that Otabek was gentle

“Not until worlds probably” Otabek didn’t sound happy himself when he said it, worlds was two months away. “That sucks” he grumbled, Otabek hummed in approval, “It does, but after worlds we’ll have some off time. I can come here, or you can come to Kazakhstan, or we could go somewhere. And we’ll speak every day” 

That brought the smile back to Yuri’s face, that did all sound perfect, as much as he didn’t want this moment to end, he also couldn’t stop his eyes falling shut, sleep desperately wanting to take him

Feeling another kiss get planted on his head, “Let’s get some sleep, don’t let it worry you Yura” Yuri nodded against his chest, never wanting to not be exactly where he was right now. He really didn’t want to face the morning, saying goodbye to Otabek would be horrific

“Night Beka” he hummed out quietly, “Night Yura” falling asleep wrapped up Otabek’s arms, listening to his firm steady heartbeat, Yuri despite this all being very new, felt so relaxed and comfortable

Tomorrow night going back to sleeping alone would be torture, for the next two months of nights actually. But instead of his mind racing, he let himself fall asleep, he’d face all that in the morning, right now he just wanted to appreciate what he had


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Otabek heads back to Kazakhstan

Yuri only seemed to have shut his eyes for a second when an alarm was beeping loudly, and oh so annoyingly beside him, groaning, he felt kisses get planted across his cheek, Otabek leaning over him to turn it off, but then coming back and keeping him wrapped up in his arms tightly

They’d ended up in a spooning position, Yuri shuffling himself as close as he could get further back, Otabek squeezing him in his arms, “Mm I don’t wanna go Yura” Otabek hummed behind him, his voice rough from sleep, which only made him sound hotter

Hearing Otabek say that with no apparent hidden fucking meaning, brought the biggest smile to Yuri’s face, only made better when Otabek continued, as he laced their fingers together

“I wanna stay here, in this bed, all day with you” Otabek yawned as he spoke, he was being so damn cute that Yuri kinda wanted to throw up, kinda wanted to kiss all over his stupid handsome face

Victor and Yuuri were the gross cute couple, so why did Yuri want to coo so damn badly? Maybe it was because they were both half asleep, that was probably it, not that that made Yuri be able to speak sweetly back to him, but it made him not cringe at least

For all this current position was doing a lot for Yuri, he wanted to face Otabek, turning around, Otabek was even fucking hotter than he anticipated

His hair was ruffled up messily, he had sleepy eyes but a big beaming smile on his face, Yuri couldn’t resist quickly leaning in for a kiss, somehow still thinking he’d get rejected, when he went to pull away from his quick peck, his heart fluttered when Otabek tugged him back

Slow warm morning kisses were probably a little gross, but Yuri couldn’t find it anything less than perfect. Long distance was really going to the worst thing, he’d been spoiled by having Otabek all to himself for a week, well nearly all to himself, his mind flashed to his stupid kiss with JJ

And maybe felt just a little bit sorry for him being left alone in a club in Russia by himself.. And just how awkward it would be at worlds when he next saw him, but his mind was quickly brought back to the scene at hand when Otabek groaned into the kiss a little

Yuri’s eyes flashed open but he kept kissing him, so Yuri shouldn’t stare, he would definitely look like the biggest fucking creep if Otabek caught him, but the way that Otabek’s eyebrows were knitted together as they kissed was strangely hot

Otabek’s hands were stroking down his back firmer, almost grabbing at Yuri’s skin, Yuri shut his eyes again, he could feel Otabek growing against him, and that shouldn’t have made him nervous

So why the fuck did it? It wasn’t that Yuri wasn’t into it, he definitely was, but it was all still so very new. Once again his mind must have been racing, he’d frozen up again, Otabek pulled away, his eyes still closed, Yuri’s were wide open, fuck he felt dumb

“Sorry” Otabek sighed out, as if he was trying to calm himself, but that wasn’t what Yuri wanted, Yuri just always ruined the moment. “Me too” Yuri whispered out, Otabek opened his eyes scowling at him

“What are you sorry for? I’m the one making you feel uncomfortable” Yuri wanted to open his mouth and argue that he wasn’t, Yuri really did want this, it wasn’t going to be anything they hadn’t done before he had guessed, he also just couldn’t help his stupid nerves

But Otabek’s alarm beeped again, Otabek sitting up and leaning across Yuri again to turn it off. “I’ve really got to get up this time” Otabek leaned down planting a kiss on Yuri’s forehead, before climbing over him to get out the bed

Yuri frowned sadly at the whole situation, Otabek walked into the bathroom, Yuri heard him flick on the shower as he shut the bathroom door. Yuri sighed out loudly, he wanted to scream fuck!

How can he single handedly always seem to ruin every moment? He should probably shower but instead he just wanted to get ready and try to spend as much time as he could with Otabek before he had to leave 

Long distance was really going to fucking suck, Yuri could barely handle right here right now, let alone far apart from each other, relying on communication. Looking at Otabek through his phone or laptop would hardly compare to the real thing

When Otabek had gotten out of the shower, Yuri wished he didn’t have that towel around him, this was his boyfriend dammit, he wasn’t going to fuck this up, something he had wanted for so damn long

Yuri was scowling, Otabek frowned at him sadly, “Yura..” he started, but Yuri cut him off, making his way over to him and wrapping his arms around his neck, pressing himself tightly up against him

“I’m going to miss you asshole” he mumbled, the warm smile that sneaked across Otabek’s face made it all worthwhile, even if Yuri was sure he was blushing

Yuri didn’t care that his tshirt was getting a little damp, he just wished they were both naked if he was being really honest. Otabek’s mouth all over him would be pretty perfect right about now, but instead he got another tame kiss to the forehead

“Not as much as I’m going to miss you” Otabek hummed out happily, as he pulled away, moving to go put on some clothes, Yuri couldn’t help but glare at him, the asshole

It took a lot for Yuri to do that, and he felt like he was essentially pushed away, when Otabek pulled off his towel, Yuri instantly looked away

He didn’t need to get distracted by how hot Otabek looked when he was mad at him, instead he walked into the bathroom locking the door, brushing his teeth he glared at himself furiously in the mirror

He looked a little bit of a mess, his hair was messy from the shower and not grooming it properly afterwards, then sleeping on it, his tshirt had wet patches all over it from hugging Otabek, then he felt his heart wrench as he noticed Otabek’s toothbrush was gone, of course he’d packed it up 

The asshole, Yuri had tried to communicate, he’d said he was going to miss him, he’d expected to make out and then take it back over to the bed, but no, fucking no, he felt like he was being rejected

Walking out of the bathroom, Otabek smiled over to him, which made Yuri melt, he had the most fucking charming handsome smile, his heart instantly felt a ping of jealousy

Otabek would be going back to Kazakhstan, he might regularly see an ex for all Yuri knew, someone else got to see that damn smile all the time

“Ready to go?” Otabek asked, still with that smile, Yuri felt himself scowl storming over and wrapping his arms around him, “I said I was going to miss you asshole” he almost snapped

Otabek laughed a little, “I said I was going to miss you too Yura, did you not hear me?” Otabek planted a kiss on Yuri’s nose, Yuri felt infuriated, he didn’t want these tame lame ass kisses

Okay so yeah if he was being honest, they made him melt, they were cute as shit. But cute wasn’t what he wanted right now, right now he wanted the Otabek that he had in bed, assertive and that seemed to desperately want him

“It doesn’t fucking matter” Yuri muttered under his breath, going to pull away, but Otabek tugged him back with a confused look on his face

“What’s wrong?” he asked, his voice even sounded confused, Yuri felt like he was the one being the asshole now, but he couldn’t help it

“Nothing” Yuri snapped, as he yanked himself away, Otabek rolled his eyes, “Yura, it’s not nothing if it’s making you feel like this, cmon talk to me” 

Otabek reached out his hand, stroking it gently over Yuri’s, Yuri felt dumb, he stared at the floor instead, only looking up when he heard Otabek speaking himself

“I know long distance will be hard, I’m going to miss you like crazy Yura. But it’s only two months, we’ll be so wrapped up in skating that it will fly by, I promise”

Hearing Otabek speak in such a firm warm reassuring voice, Yuri’s eyes flashed down, he felt a smile creeping across his face, Otabek humming happily, “Cmere” 

Otabek wrapped his arms around Yuri tightly, for all it wasn’t the answer he was after, it still definitely helped. Sighing into his hold, he’d just need replay this week with Otabek in his head when he touched himself, since it seemed like no new memories were getting made this morning

Just standing like that was perfect, Yuri never wanted to let go, but it was only made better when Otabek gently lifted his head up, flashing his eyes up at him curiously, Otabek held his face in his strong hands, Yuri’s face felt like it was burning up 

Otabek leaned in tilting his head, Yuri’s heart fluttered, this was the kiss he was after. Otabek was kissing him deeply, every swipe of his tongue Yuri wanted to shiver, he was leaning entirely into him, he was breathing heavy

The kiss started to turn messy, their mouths opening wider, Otabek’s hands moved from his face one running through his hair, and the other wrapping around his waist, Yuri couldn’t help the little moan that left his mouth, instantly wanting to cringe afterwards

Otabek’s hand squeezed his waist tighter, trailing up his tshirt, god Yuri wanted him to throw him onto the bed, for all he knew he’d freeze up if he actually did it, but fuck he wanted to be naked with Otabek again

He wanted his fingers to touch him again, in the way that made him want to scream, when Otabek pulled away, Yuri didn’t know why the fuck he thought it was hot that spit trailed between their mouths

It should have been really fucking gross, but Yuri was half hard right now, his eyes were wide, he was confident he was going to get what he wanted, “Let’s go”

“Huh?” Yuri couldn’t help but be confused, let’s fucking go? Otabek nodded, sighing out, “My flight Yura, I’ll miss it” feeling Otabek’s hands pull away from him, his once hot skin now felt cold and clammy

Of course his fucking flight, Yuri swallowed, trying not to sound agitated, “Let’s go” he copied, but he knew he sounded cold as he said it, Otabek raised his eyebrows slightly, frowning at his sudden attitude 

He shouldn’t have a attitude really, Otabek hadn’t technically did anything wrong, not really. Yuri held his stare, which didn’t help him try to prove he wasn’t in a mood, and instead of a stare, he knew it was more of a glare

Otabek sighed out shrugging his shoulders, “Perfect” okay so what the fuck did that mean? Yuri wasn’t at fault here, “Excuse me?” Yuri snapped

Otabek groaned in annoyance, “Yura, if you tell me what’s wrong I can try and fix it and help. If your just snappy with me I can’t do anything, I’m not going to see you for two months, I really don’t want to leave us in a fight”

Okay so that little speech made Yuri coo, “You, you don’t want to touch me” he rushed out, his face red as he spoke, Otabek face’s frowned in confusion, “I don’t want to touch you?”

Yuri sighed shaking his head, Otabek laughed a little, “Yura I need more information than that, what do you even mean I don’t want to touch you how?” 

Yuri’s heart was pounding in his chest, he felt incredibly hot like he could pass out at any second, “I, you keep pulling away” Otabek smirked at him softly, “Yura” Otabek started, moving closer, cupping his face so Yuri had to look up at him

“I want to touch you, so fucking much, believe me. But, I don’t think your ready..” Yuri’s face twisted in anger instantly, pulling his face from the cupped hands

“You don’t think I’m ready?” he snapped, Otabek’s face was unphased as he shrugged, “Yes” if he didn’t think he was ready, why the fuck had he touched him before? He didn’t have a problem with it before this morning, so what had changed?!

Yuri stared at him expectantly to continue, Otabek sighed out, “You freeze up, I feel like I’m going too fast, I don’t want to scare you Yura, when we have sex..” Otabek kept speaking but Yuri didn’t know what he said

Sex hadn’t crossed his mind, he just wanted to touched, and touch Otabek, not go all the way. Yuri felt like he should have put that point across, but like Otabek said he did, even if he didn’t want to admit it himself, he’d frozen up 

Okay so he was scared to have sex for the first time, he didn’t feel ready for that, “Yura are you even listening to me?” Otabek asked, he sounded annoyed and when Yuri looked up he definitely looked it too

Yuri nodded, he wasn’t, his mind was racing. Otabek sighed, “I gotta go, we’ll have to finish this when I’m back in Kazakhstan” “I’m sorry” Yuri rushed out, Otabek smiled at him softly, “Cmere” 

When Otabek wrapped his arms around him again, Yuri felt all his insecurities drift away, being in Otabek’s arms felt like a drug, it was something he’d had so little of, but felt like it was all he would ever need again

Otabek spoke gently in his ear, “No rush Yura, we can go at any pace you like, just talk to me okay” Yuri nuzzled his face into his neck humming in agreement, he knew these next two months would be the longest of his life

A lot had happened in such a little space of time, and now everything was different in the best kind of way. Even if his heart felt it could have given out at any possible moment, or that he would pass out, or even how stupid he must have looked most of the time, the embarrassing noises he’d made, how he had to face Victor and Yuuri by himself when Otabek leaves

But then Otabek’s lips were on his again, his thickly accented gruff voice, “I’m gunna miss you so much Yura, don’t forget that” Yuri shivered as he spoke, staring right into Otabek’s eyes, Yuri couldn’t believe this had actually happened

His cool, so fucking cool, best friend was now his boyfriend. How Otabek wanted him he’d never know, even when he couldn’t gather his thoughts properly and snapped, even though he’d freeze up

Yuri crashed their mouths back together, his hands threaded through his hair, fuck he’d clashed their teeth together again, but right now he couldn’t find a reason to care, he desperately didn’t want Otabek to leave

When Otabek’s hand drifted down his back cupping his ass firmly, Yuri gasped into his mouth, instead of pulling away like Yuri thought he would, he lifted Yuri into his arms, Yuri wrapping his legs around Otabek tightly

Kissing desperately Yuri didn’t even realise Otabek had walked them over to the bed, he just felt Otabek laying him down still on top of him, their kisses getting more messy, Yuri was shamelessly grinding his hips into him

This had been all he wanted all damn morning, so Otabek of course had to pull away and ruin it, their lips were still touching, Yuri still felt like a dog in fucking heat grinding up against him, his eyes shut as if that would make it less needy and embarrassing

“Touch yourself, think of me, I gotta go” Yuri’s eyes shot open, “What?” Otabek was smiling at him, almost teasingly, “Touch yourself Yura, do you know how hard I’ll be on the plane home thinking of that?”

Yuri scowled, he wanted to argue that he wanted Otabek to touch him, he didn’t want his own lame ass hand. For all what Otabek had said was hot, like really hot and Yuri would definitely not have a problem cumming to the thought of that, it still wasn’t exactly what he wanted

“Fine” he muttered, accepting what was about to happen, Otabek was going to miss his flight, not that it would be the worse thing in the world if he did Yuri thought, but he also couldn’t expect him to stay here forever

Otabek leaned back down planting a tame kiss on his lips, his strong tan muscular arms were caging Yuri in right now, in the best kind of way, he wanted to run his fingers up and down them, feel the tight muscles under his skin, but Otabek pulled away, getting off of him

Yuri sighed into the bed, feeling just a little bit smug when he saw Otabek arranging himself in his jeans, at least he had the same effect on Otabek, Otabek smirked at him and winked, he fucking winked, Yuri felt like his mind exploded 

“I’ll call you when I land, have fun Yura” Yuri was blushing, “You better Beka” he tried to sound threatening but his voice was nothing more than a sad mumble, Otabek gave him a little wave, before opening his bedroom door and leaving

Yuri felt his heart clutch in his chest, he wouldn’t see him for two fucking months, Yuri felt torn between wanting to curl up into a little ball and just sleep, or deal with the very noticeable problem he had between his legs

Toying with the two, he slowly stroked a hand across the bulge in his jeans, exhaling slowly in pleasure, he’d made up his choice, quickly unzipping his jeans and throwing them to the floor 

He was almost moving desperately, grabbing the lube, the familiar chill coating his dick, he wrapped his fingers around himself trying to imagine it was Otabek’s hand instead of his own, or even Otabek’s mouth fuck

But his own hand didn’t feel half as good as Otabek did, his phone beeping beside him, Yuri glanced over, Otabek’s name had flashed up

‘Want me to help?’ Yuri stared at his phone curiously, ‘Yes?’ he replied with, unsure how this was going to go, his hand moving slowly on himself now, almost instantly getting a reply, ‘Want me to tell you what I’d do if I was there?’

Okay Yuri was kind of happy that Otabek wasn’t here, because he was blushing like crazy, ‘Yes’ he replied with again, eagerly waiting for a reply, 5 minutes had passed and Yuri for all he was still hard, he was growing impatient 

It turned out the wait was worth it, he felt like he should cringe at the dirty words that flashed on the screen, but instead all he felt was his dick practically ache with want, maybe long distance could work after all


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Long distance is hard, but they make it work

Long distance was hard, harder than Yuri ever thought it would be. One month into it and Yuri didn’t know how much more his heart could take, he didn’t know it was possible to miss someone this damn much, he thought his heart was going to break in two 

He didn’t tell Otabek that he cried though. Yuri felt dumb just knowing that he did it himself, let alone if Otabek knew, he didn’t think Otabek would cry after they’d spoke just because he missed him that much

He didn’t do it constantly or anything, but it was at least twice a week and that was more than Yuri had ever cried in his life. This whole boyfriend thing was a struggle, but every single night without fail he made sure he was free at 7

Hearing Otabek hum the words, ‘Hey baby’ down the phone relaxed Yuri so much, even after the hardest day at practise just hearing that always made him melt. He knew it should have made him sick, it should have made him cringe

Yuri was the ice tiger of Russia, he wasn’t someones fucking baby, it was ridiculous. But here he was beaming the biggest smile hearing Otabek say them so casually, Yuri felt like he was turning into a domestic house cat instead of a tiger

Speaking casually came so easily to Yuri when it was Otabek, talking like how they always did, the only thing that was different was when the casual talking was done, Yuri sometimes rushed out a quick, ‘I miss you’ when he was feeling confident anyways

Other times he just brooded moodily on the phone, until Otabek seemed to get the hint and told him how much he missed him. How Otabek could go into detail the way he did, Yuri never knew. Yuri was always a red blushing hot mess listening to him, his hands sweaty and his hair sticking to his face, he was happy it wasn’t a skype call

Tonight Yuri was feeling particularly moody, he’d fallen at practise, he couldn’t seem to land any of his jumps right, and even the thought of speaking to Otabek didn’t do anything for him. He just wanted to sit and wallow and feel sorry for himself, but sure enough when 7 hit his phone lit up with Otabek’s name

Sighing out in a huff he picked his phone up anyways, “Hello” he spoke blunt, sometimes it was a really fucking dumb airy ‘Hi Beka’ sometimes it was a normal casual ‘hey’, but when it was blunt like it was today, it could go one or two ways

Otabek either tried to cheer him up, or he huffed too and they’d bicker, Yuri would snap as he did and Otabek got pissed at him. They’d hang up only to make up a few hours later, they wouldn’t talk about it though, they’d just move on from it, which Yuri was more than happy with, Yuri generally just sending him a cat photo or funny meme he’d found and then have to explain it to Otabek who didn’t seem to browse the internet as frequently as Yuri did

Otabek hummed in response, “Bad day Yura?” Yuri rolled his eyes not that Otabek could see, “What gave it away?” Otabek groaned, “Yura, don’t have a attitude with me just because you had a bad day. I really miss you right now”

Yuri tutted, “Just right now?” “I’ll hang up..” “Don’t threaten me Otabek” Yuri hissed down the phone, he was laying on his bed in such a fettle he couldn’t even see how unreasonable he was being

Otabek sighed, but Yuri cut him off before he had a chance to speak up, “Don’t sigh like I’m such a hassle, if I’m such a hassle for you then just break up with me” 

Yuri didn’t for one second mean any of the words he’d said, but after the day he’d had he just couldn’t stop himself, he couldn’t see the rational side and calm down

Otabek didn’t say anything for a few moments, Yuri was seething, “Don’t ignore me either asshole” he practically yelled, “Yura, can you just save us all the headache. What do you want me to say or do that won’t piss you off? I’m all ears”

Yuri glared his hand gripping his phone tightly, if he’d have known he wouldn’t be stupidly losing his temper to Otabek right now, so instead he just ranted down the phone loudly

Yuri had such a loose tongue when he was mad, he complained openly about the shitty day he’d had, how he was worried he wouldn’t even place on the podium because he couldn’t nail his jump, that he’d hurt himself and he felt so fucking sore, but mostly, and most importantly

He just really fucking missed Otabek, and he wished he was there with him now. Then Yuri really felt like a fucking idiot when his angry voice turned into a croak and he was crying instead, he should have hung up, and he didn’t know why the fuck he didn’t, instead he stayed on the phone, sobbing hysterically

Yuri almost forgot Otabek was even on the phone, he’d listened silently the whole time Yuri was ranting, only now speaking up, gently shushing him, “Yura, Yura” Otabek spoke firmly but softly, Yuri doing a very ugly kind of inhale and sniffle to try and stop

He’d never felt so pathetic before, occasionally letting out a sob as he listened to Otabek’s calming voice. Breathing shakily down the phone as Otabek gently shushed him and spoke logicly as always, telling Yuri the things he always did

That he was strong, that he could do anything, that he was just having an off day and that his bruises would heal and he’ll end up coming out on top as he always does, before sighing out gently and carrying on

“I know long distance is really fucking hard, but Yura, just give it one more month. Then you can scream in my face instead of over the phone” Otabek spoke teasingly and Yuri could just imagine his handsome fucking smirk as he spoke

Yuri finally laughing, feeling like the weight and stress of his day was lifting, just as soon as it eased off, Yuri cringed at himself, groaning down the phone

“Urgh that was embarrassing, sorry” Yuri mumbled, the second his anger was gone he always inverted back in on himself, “Gimme a second Beka” he spoke up again, putting his phone on the side as he went into the bathroom blowing his nose and wiping away at his face

He couldn’t believe he’d just broken to Otabek over the phone, yelled at him like that and then oh so pathetically cried about the worry of not being on the podium, he didn’t know how he’d be able to look him in the eyes when he next saw him, he’d just been so cringey

Shuddering at the thoughts of what he’d just done he curled up back in bed, picking the phone up, “Hey, so uh, how was your day?” he tried to move on, Otabek laughed gently

“Sorry Yura, were not moving on just like that” Yuri groaned, “I’m fine now Beka, sorry, that was..”

“Some things that were obviously playing on your mind, and it’s perfectly healthy to unload onto your boyfriend about?” Yuri rolled his eyes, again he knew Otabek couldn’t even see him, but he couldn’t help it, a small shy smile starting across his face

How did Otabek always seem to be level headed? Yeah sometimes they’d both argue, but for the most part Otabek did his best to communicate, which Yuri knew he still had to work on

“Okay okay, thank you” Yuri managed out, he could just imagine Otabek’s hot handsome calmingly smile on the other end of the phone

Carrying on the phone call like nothing had happened, Yuri was laughing loudly down the phone, finally a huge smile spread across his face and all of the previous stressed seemed to lift off of him, he felt light and free after his breakdown

Otabek so casually started speaking again, still laughing a little as he spoke, “God Yura, I miss you so much, I’ve actually been thinking of something lately”

Yuri hummed as a response, still beaming a smile, he was the biggest fucking sap he knew he was, but whenever Otabek said he missed him, his heart just seemed to skip, he was warm and mushy and he didn’t give a fuck, he was smitten dammit

“How would you feel about having phone sex?” Otabek, cool as fucking fuck Otabek would just casually say that. Yuri almost choked, his smile wiping away from his face and all those warm melting feelings were replaced with a cold sweat

“Like, like facetime or just, yknow like this?” he spoke fast, his heart racing, he’d never felt so flustered in all of his life, not in a million years did he think Otabek would say that

So yeah the thought had crossed Yuri’s mind too, but he didn’t for one second think they’d do it, Yuri could barely fucking talk as it was let alone trying to speak dirty down the phone to his boyfriend, it seemed impossible

Yuri could practically feel Otabek shrug, even down the phone, “Either really, does that sound like something you’d want to do too? You can say no Yura, it’s just a idea”

Otabek spoke about phone sex like it was the most normal thing, Yuri was so happy he wasn’t there, his face was burning hot, he felt like he couldn’t breathe and that the room was impossibly small

Yuri knew he squeaked when he spoke, but that was neither here nor there, they were talking about fucking phone sex, they’d be moaning down the phone and that made Yuri cringe, how did phone sex even fucking work?!

“Er, su, sure” Otabek hummed, “I’d do the talking if you wanted me too, or we wouldn’t even need to talk, just hearing you breath heavier would be pretty hot”

“Seriously?” “Mhm, I’m pretty hard right down just speaking with you. Your voice is such a turn on Yura” Otabek spoke so roughly down the phone, Yuri almost came in his pants just hearing him say that

So this was happening, Yuri’s hands felt clammy, his tongue far too big to try and even speak. His ears were burning, had Otabek really just said that? Or had he just imagined it? 

Otabek quickly spoke again when Yuri didn’t reply, “Sorry, fuck I’m sorry Yura” Otabek groaned annoyed down the phone, “I’m sorry” Otabek repeated down the phone, his voice sounded annoyed

Yuri had frozen up, his dick had definitely stirred at what Otabek had said, even if he felt nervous. He wasn’t entirely opposed to it, his stupid nerves had just gotten the better of him as always, it was easier when Otabek was here, he’d be able to see and feel that Yuri was kinda into it

“Beka, it’s fine..” Otabek cut him off, “It’s fine to rush your boyfriend into things he’s not ready for? It isn’t fine, I keep moving too fast..”

“Beka!” Yuri spoke loudly cutting him off, “I, just, fuck I just freeze up, it doesn’t mean I’m not into it. I’m just, fucking nervous okay asshole” 

Silence was a response, Yuri could hear his heart pounding in his chest, he had a wet clammy face from sweating so much, Yuri was so fucking happy that this wasn’t a facetime call, Otabek would break up with him if he could see him like this

Otabek cleared his throat before finally speaking again, “So, it is something your into doing, or just trying? No pressure, if you don’t like it we can stop” 

Yuri sighed out, trying to calm himself, he focused on not stuttering, “Yes” was all he could manage out, “Right now?” Otabek’s voice almost sounded tense, Yuri swallowed again, nodding, before he realised Otabek couldn’t see him

“Yeah, I, I uh, I don’t know what to do” Yuri knew he sounded like so painfully virgin, but he didn’t want to start and then Otabek ask him to fucking speak or say something dirty, he definitely couldn’t do that

“That’s okay, do you want me to talk or..” Yuri cut him off, “Yeah” he rushed out, he could absolutely get off if Otabek spoke dirty down the phone, he thought it might make him cringe, like he did with a lot of things 

But so far, nothing about Otabek made him cringe, and when he’d dirty texted him that day it definitely didn’t make Yuri cringe

“Take off your clothes baby” Otabek’s tone of voice was so fucking hot, it was already rough, but just the way he said that made Yuri’s dick throb, “O, Okay” trying to take off his clothes as fast as he could while still keeping the phone to his ear, not that Otabek was saying anything, but Otabek’s words flashed through his head

Otabek was already hard, or well was a few moments ago, just from hearing Yuri chat about nothing, Yuri’s breathing was already heavy, his chest flushed red and his dick leaking across his stomach

Fuck he looked like a mess, “I’m, I’m uh, I’ve did it” “Are you touching yourself?” Yuri swallowed, “No” Otabek hummed a light laugh down the phone, a breathy made Yuri sweat just a little bit more laugh

“I am, fuck Yura, just thinking about you drives me fucking crazy. Do you know how much I touch myself after we’ve spoke on the phone?” Yuri’s hand instantly grabbed at his dick, stroking himself desperately as he bit his lip to stop from making a noise

“God Yura, touch yourself, you make me so, fucking hard. Close your eyes baby, imagine it’s my hand, mm or my mouth, would that be better baby? My hot wet mouth..”

Yuri was as red as he could possibly be, he thought his lip would start bleeding he was biting into it that hard, he was fucking up into his hand desperately, he was sure he wouldn’t last for much longer. Otabek had barely even fucking started speaking, it had been less than a damn minute and Yuri was ready to burst

Yuri moaned quietly, his eyes scrunched shut, he didn’t mean to cut Otabek off, but fuck he sounded so good, Yuri could absolutely imagine it was him, he was that pent up, his mind raced with how good he fucking felt sucking his dick

Seeing his mouth wrapped around him, hearing Otabek groan down the phone, “Keep moaning baby, you sound fucking perfect. I keep thinking how amazing you felt around my fingers, god next time, I’m going to make you cum just from fingers”

Yuri’s head was spinning, he wished he could save what Otabek was saying and play it again and again until he next saw him, panting out a quick and quiet, “Oh shit” the way Otabek responded made Yuri not feel dumb, not that he thought he would right now anyways, he was breathing and panting so heavily down the phone, but he was that lost in the moment he didn’t care if he sounded fucking dumb

Otabek always called him hot, always made him feel hot and wanted, so fucking desired, the way Otabek groaned or moaned whenever Yuri made a sound went straight to his head, he was dizzy 

“Yura, the thought of you sitting on my dick, fuck. Do you know how fucking hot you’d look on top of me, blushed red and wet with sweat, the noises you make, I’d want you screaming baby”

How Otabek could say these things without even flinching or stuttering, his voice still steady and rough, Yuri felt baffled. Well when he thought back to this he would feel baffled, right now, he didn’t even feel nervous about the picture that Otabek was painting for him

He imagined how full he’d full with Otabek inside of him, if Otabek’s fingers were anything to go by, it would feel incredible, then he felt it, that burning feeling inside of him, he was going to fucking cum, and it was a embarrassingly quick time, oh shit

Arching himself up off the bed, Otabek was still speaking, but whatever he said was white noise, Yuri couldn’t help his moan, his body felt like electric, “Beka, Beka fuck” he whined out, he was being far too loud, but right now in this moment of nothing but intense pleasure, he couldn’t find a reason to care

“Are you cumming baby?” Yuri’s hand was erratically moving, “Yes shit yes, yes” he got even louder as he actually spilled into his hand, dirtying his chest with his own cum, his heart was pounding, he felt like his legs were spasming as he squirmed with pleasure

His breathing was heavy, his hand slowing down, then his mind exploding again as he heard Otabek moan down the phone, louder than he normally ever was, Yuri swallowed, fuck was Otabek cumming now

Otabek kept moaning low and steady, he was breathing heavy himself when he finally seemed to stop. Yuri looked down at his stomach and instantly felt embarrassed, okay so they’d just did that

And Yuri felt like he moaned like a fucking pornstar or something, and Victor and Yuuri probably heard it all. Oh fucking shit

“Was that okay Yura?” Otabek asked, softly, not the way he’d just been speaking, Yuri hummed in response. Not daring to speak just yet, “Yeah? Is it something you might want to do again?” Otabek spoke hopefully, if Yuri was being honest, it was a yes, a definite yes

It was one of the hottest things ever, but the embarrassment in himself he felt afterwards made him cringe, sighing out deeply, communicate he repeated in his head, if Otabek could speak dirty to him over the phone, Yuri could at least have the courtesy to say that he liked it

“Yeah, I, I really liked it” he bit his lip instantly after he spoke, feeling a little sick to his stomach, the nervousness he felt was ridiculous he knew it was, but he also couldn’t seem to shake it

“I wasn’t too much?” Otabek asked, his voice sounded unsure, Yuri thought back to what Otabek had said and it made him feel nervous and anxious all over, he wasn’t ready to do what Otabek had said he’d thought about, but hearing him saying it to Yuri, and expecting Yuri to do it was two different things

Yuri did feel reassurance that Otabek wouldn’t expect him to do that, even if Yuri said he liked hearing him say it. “No Beka..” Yuri trailed off but swallowed before starting again, he spoke fast, he hoped Otabek heard him clearly because he didn’t want to say it again

“I just don’t feel ready to do those things you said but but hearing them was fine” Otabek laughed a barely there laugh, “Yura, I didn’t hear a word you just said, what?”

Yuri sighed out, biting his lip nervously, “Don’t make me say it again Beka” he mumbled, “Please?” Yuri shut his eyes, as if that would help anything

“I, I don’t feel ready to, yknow, do the things you said. But, hearing you say them, that, that was fine” 

“You sure? I won’t say them if..” Yuri cut him off, “I’ve just said it was fine asshole” it was hard enough saying them fucking twice let alone going into damn detail

“And you know there’s no rush right? I mean, you never have to do them if you didn’t want too, that would be fine. But I really liked telling you about them, so if you're sure that’s okay, I’ll keep doing it” 

How Otabek could be the most understanding person in the world Yuri couldn’t comprehend, hearing his constant reassurance that he never had to do anything really did calm Yuri’s nerves, it almost took away the fear of hearing Otabek saying them

And hearing Otabek desire him in that way, that was something Yuri didn’t think he would tire of hearing, even if he’d become the reddest, most embarrassed mess afterwards

Finishing the phone call up, for all Yuri felt lonely, it eased off the harshness of it. He could almost imagine that Otabek had been here with him, they only had one more month left until they saw each other again, that was nothing, and if they were doing what they’d did tonight, Yuri was sure that the time would fly, well hopefully

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't updated in like 10 days! Work has been crazy!
> 
> Hope you all like it, comments and feedback appreciated <3


	10. Chapter 10

So after the most embarrassing fucking aftermath of Victor and Yuuri lecturing him about how loud he was, saying it was normal on repeat, Yuri thought he was going to throw up, he’d yelled angrily but his face was red in embarrassment 

They’d ended it with Yuri promising to keep it down in the future if they never fucking mentioned it again, when he’d told Otabek he’d laughed for so long that Yuri hung up in a fit of once again rage, quickly forgiving him though as they had more phone sex

That definitely made the last month move faster, it was almost a given now on every phone call and for all Yuri still didn’t feel comfortable talking, he’d occasionally say that that sounded good, or he wanted to do that

He knew he didn’t speak sexy, he knew his voice was probably broken when he spoke, but as always Otabek didn’t seem to mind and reacted positively to it

One particular time last week stuck in Yuri’s mind in particular, it was the loudest Yuri had been yet, doing something else over the phone that should have scared him, but it mainly just turned him on to no end, especially when he thought back to it

Starting it as standard, he didn’t know how Otabek didn’t sound awkward, he didn’t know how he could approach phone sex so damn casually every time. Yuri knew he wasn’t particularly difficult to get going though, just the thought of Otabek dirty talking had him, he was usually fully hard before Otabek had even asked if he wanted to do anything, waiting in anticipation, and it was always so worth the wait 

“Fuck Yura, finger yourself too baby” Otabek was too good at this dirty talking, his voice didn’t break, it didn’t even lose it’s steady pacing, Yuri nearly gasped and dropped the phone, he was always fucking dramatic though, not cool or calm ever

Holding the phone with one hand and jerking himself off as he listened to Otabek, he tried to speak, “Er, how?” he sounded so painfully virgin but then he wouldn’t have a spare hand, how could he hold the phone?

Otabek laughed gruffly, his voice was always rough, but when he was dirty talking, fuck it sent shivers down Yuri’s spine. “What do you mean how?” 

Yuri was flushed red, his hand stopping moving on his dick as he rooted around for his lube, “Yknow, like, with the phone, and, and, my dick” he bit his lip as he waited for an answer, at least Otabek never laughed at him even a little bit when he actually managed to speak properly

“I thought you’d have headphones on, I mean, we could always skype. I’d fucking love to see you Yura..” Yuri cut him off, he didn’t even mean to, he was never this abrupt about sex, but he got a shock, he couldn’t imagine doing anything like that right now at all

Yeah it would be hot seeing Otabek, but if Otabek had to see him through a grainy laptop screen as he did god knows what, he didn’t have that confidence yet

“I couldn’t do that” he rushed out, then Otabek, always the gentleman Otabek replied instantly, “Do you know how much I love it when you say shit like that?”

Yuri sat puzzled, he wasn’t touching his dick, he’d grabbed the lube and was looking for headphones in his draw on, he was still insanely turned on and wasn’t ready to let anything distract him from finishing. Phone sex with Otabek was far too good, “Say what?”

“That you don’t want to do something, or you do want to do something. Fuck Yura, your perfect” For all Otabek sounded sincere, Yuri couldn’t wrap his head around it, Otabek clearly wanted him to go on skype and Yuri had turned him down, Yuri would have felt intense guilt if Otabek wasn’t making his heart flutter instead

“What?” Yuri asked, a stupid smile on his face, his head spinning, the headphones getting tangled as he fiddled with them between his fingers, he was dumb as shit

Otabek hummed, “It’s really fucking nice that you feel comfortable enough to tell me if you wouldn’t want to do something, it lets me know where I stand and if I should press something or not. Sometimes I don’t know if it’s nerves holding you back or that you actually don’t want it”

Otabek had a point, Yuri had a habit of staying quiet about something and then snapping at Otabek later for not trying to coax him more about it. Because Yuri was a asshole and liked to presume that Otabek could just read his mind from god knows how many miles away and through a phone call

Yuri still had his wide smile, he was still blushing red, but he also still had a problem between his legs, and he was pretty close before Otabek had asked him to finger himself, so now the idea of actually doing it, of knowing that Otabek wanted him to do it, he couldn’t get that out of his head

“So, I er, I got the headphones” he tried to say so casually, without wanting to sound really fucking eager. Fuck so Yuri would definitely get another fucking embarrassing lecture from Victor and Yuuri, but doing what he was doing was massively enhancing how fucking amazing this felt

The more noise Yuri made the dirtier Otabek talked or reacted, the line that pushed him over the edge was when Otabek started talking about how big his cock was, how it would feel inside of Yuri brushing against that spot that Yuri loved so much, that Yuri annoyingly couldn’t seem to find or touch himself

How fucking close they’d feel, how full Yuri would feel, that’s what got Yuri. He was coated in sweat, he looked ridiculous on his knees fingering himself desperately with two fingers imaging they were Otabek, a tight fast grip around him, Otabek’s rough gravelly voice and deep breathy groans

He was gone, he was cumming so hard he thought he’d pass out, hearing Otabek right in his ear like that, it was too much and almost not enough, he wanted him here. But since he wasn’t, it somehow made Yuri feel braver, he didn’t need to worry about he looked just how he sounded

Which he could imagine sounded like a bad porno, breathing heavy after when he lay down, he couldn’t believe he’d just done that, he didn’t really say anything to Otabek during, just some curses and an occasional yes, but he almost wished that he could be swallowed up and never seen again

Otabek didn’t make those kind of noises, and he was the one doing all the talking. He was still the one talking while Yuri panted and tried to not say sorry on repeat for how he sounded, it was hard to feel self conscious about it when Otabek was saying on repeat how hot he sounded, how amazing that was

When they finally hung up, Yuri felt weightless, for all he wanted to cringe at himself he also felt pretty proud that he actually managed phone sex successfully with his boyfriend. For all he didn’t think he added much to it, it was hard not to feel reassured when Otabek wouldn’t stop praising him

Fuck having a boyfriend was confusing, but he was in the happiest place he thought he could ever be, he just hoped he didn’t fuck it up 

Yuri was even wrapping his head around the idea of sex, it was still something that made him nervous, it was having a dick in your ass, what’s there not to be nervous about?

But after it tormented his mind on the last week before he was finally fucking seeing Otabek, he quickly rushed it out mentioning it to Otabek, communicating as he’d promised he would try to do more

“I’ve, I’ve been thinking about sex lately” Yuri was hot as he spoke, his mouth dry, and of course his heart pounding, Otabek hummed in response, “Oh?”

Yuri cleared his throat before speaking up again, “Mhm” was still all he could manage out though, thankfully Otabek saved him, “What about it? That it’s something you maybe want to try, or that it’s something you maybe don’t want to try?”

If Otabek could stay calm during this, so could Yuri, “The first one” 

“Okay, well whenever your ready Yura, whatever you want” “Is that it?” Yuri felt just a little deflated, Otabek was good with his words, he expected a least a conversation, it was plaguing Yuri’s mind to no end

Otabek hummed, “Why don’t you tell me what it is in particular you want to talk about and we’ll go from there?” 

“Will it hurt?” his voice sounded so sheepish, but it was a real concern, Yuri knew he liked to touch himself there and be touched there, but that was with something a lot smaller than Otabek’s fucking dick

It was out of the question for Otabek to be the one taking it, since he’d already expressed that he didn’t like it, and Yuri tried to understand that as best he could, but the thought of Otabek trying it with someone else for starters made his stomach twist, and then that he didn’t like it, so he just expected Yuri to be the one bottoming? Yuri knew he was being fucking dumb, because Otabek couldn’t help it, but it still annoyed him, but he didn’t want to let his mind race right now, right now he really wanted to try and have a actual conversation about this whole sex thing

“I mean, I’ll prep you so much before we start, so it shouldn’t. But since you haven’t did it before, it might sting a little, just because it’s your first time, I really don’t know Yura. I’ll be so slow and gentle though, you can tell me to stop or slow down at any time and I would instantly”

“Would that even do anything for you though?” “What?” Otabek sounded confused, Yuri sighed annoyed, “Going slow and gentle asshole, stopping and fucking slowing down”

The tone of Otabek’s voice, made Yuri just know he would frowning at him, “Yura, do you think I’m just going to shove my dick inside of you just so I can get off? Making sure your enjoying it and aren’t in any pain will be perfect for me, don’t worry about that”

That only troubled Yuri’s mind more, how many fucking virgins had Otabek had? It was driving him to insanity, he wasn’t going to mention anything, he was going to wait until they were face to face, but he found the words leaving his mouth just as soon as he was telling himself not to say them

“How many people have you slept with?” he rushed it out and his voice sounded fucking annoyed, he was such a asshole sometimes, he knew it himself, but he also felt powerless to stop it, he was literally dying to know the answer

Otabek hummed, “Why do you ask?” Yuri felt his blood boil, “I can’t ask my fucking boyfriend how many dick’s he’s had before me, just as we’re yknow fucking talking about taking my damn virginity! Asshole!” Yuri yelled hanging up

He really didn’t want to play the blushing virgin card, but that’s exactly what he’d just done. He didn’t want to make it a big song and dance about losing it, but that’s what he’d just fucking done, he was seething, not only with Otabek’s answer but with himself

Instantly his phone was ringing again, Yuri declined the call, sitting in a rage on his bed instead, staring up to the ceiling he wanted to fucking scream, his phone pinged with a text

‘I only said that, because I don’t for one second want you to be comparing yourself to people I’ve been with in the past. I’m not ashamed of my past, I just don’t want you to think your anything less than special to me just because of it. If you were genuinely curious, call me back, we’ll talk about it. But if it’s because your in any way insecure about it, I don’t think we should have sex..’

Yuri stopped reading throwing his phone across the room not caring if it smashed or not, it was definitely because he was fucking insecure about it and didn’t to be compared to anyone else

The fucking asshole, Yuri felt like Otabek was using sex as a weapon against him, only giving him it when he thought he should, not when they both fucking thought they should. Again he knew he wasn’t making sense, he knew he was being irrational, but he not only felt embarrassed, he also felt so damn insecure about the whole entire thing

Just who the fuck had Otabek been sleeping with, how many people, how many times, how many virgins, how many people had he reassured and calmed down just like he did with Yuri?! 

It was stupid for Yuri to even mention sex, no, it was stupid for Yuri to make sex a big deal. It didn’t need to be a big deal surely? Otabek didn’t seem to think it was, he seemed to just fuck whoever, okay so Yuri’s mind was racing

In actual fact he was still just as in dark as he was before he’d even fucking asked Otabek about it, hearing his phone vibrate again from across the room that was a good sign he hadn’t just broken it

Sighing out loudly and dramatically he dragged his feet across the bedroom, picking it up and answering with his best snappiest voice, “What Otabek?” he should really just eat his words and say sorry, and get to the bottom of this whole thing, but of course he couldn’t do that

Otabek sighed down the phone, “Yuri will you just calm down please? Your pissed because of what? That I didn’t immediately tell you before I tried to explain myself first? Fuck I can’t do right for doing wrong with you, I didn’t want to freak you out by just telling you..”

“Why will I be freaked out Otabek? Have you slept with a lot of people? Am I just another fucking number to you?” Yuri yelled, fuck he’d promised to keep his voice down for Victor and Yuuri, they’d only fucking ask him about when he was done on the phone

“Of course your not just a number to me, your my boyfriend, do you think I throw that term around loosely? Your the only boyfriend I’ve ever had..”

“So you’ve just slept around alot before me? That makes me really fucking special” 

“Don’t fucking slut shame me Yuri, yes I did, I’ve been 8 other people is that what you wanted to hear?” 

The way Otabek spoke and what exactly he had said made Yuri shiver, Yuri knew he’d really crossed a line, he’d known it from the start really. A tiny voice inside of him was even telling him that how Otabek handled it was the right way, if he had just said he’d been with 8 people then Yuri would have probably had a panic attack

This way, Otabek was trying to protect his feelings, and Yuri’s heart did melt when he’d said he was his only boyfriend, that really did make Yuri feel special. And yet he was still going on like a asshole, why oh fucking why

“Great” was all Yuri could say, his voice and bravado betraying him as he croaked and felt the tears start to stream, why since having a boyfriend was he just a barrel of emotions?

“Yura.. Shit don’t cry” Otabek groaned down the phone, “Fuck I don’t know what you want me to say, this is why I wanted to talk to you properly about it. Not over a stupid fucking phone call.. I’m sorry okay, but you need to be sorry too. This, this isn’t fair, fuck.. Long distance is really fucking hard”

Otabek sounded annoyed, Yuri stayed silent on the other side of the phone, his face was twisting as tears kept falling. If he was being honest, all he wanted was Otabek right there with him, wrapping him up in his arms, it was a lot easier to gage his reactions in person

It was easier for Otabek to calm him down as well, not that that should fall onto Otabek to do, but fuck Yuri didn’t know anymore. He was sorry too, he really was, but he couldn’t find any words to speak right now

Hearing Otabek saying that long distance was hard made Yuri’s heart stop in his chest, he felt like he couldn’t breath, Otabek was always the positive one about the long distance thing, always telling him they could make it work

It had been less than two months and here they were, but as always Yuri’s mind was just racing, then Otabek spoke up again and Yuri felt guilty, more guilty than he’d ever felt, Otabek’s voice was the one croaking this time

“Please just say something, fucking anything. I can’t believe were arguing over how many people I’ve been with, Yura, fuck I know your insecure, I’m really trying okay. But I also can’t change the past, I can’t help how many people I’ve been with, and I wouldn’t want too. It was all safe and consensual, just like how I hope you feel like this all is for you..” 

Otabek’s voice trailed off as he let out a sob down the phone, Yuri felt a cold sweat, he was the biggest asshole, he still had tears streaming down his own face, it was so fucking stupid that just because Otabek had a past that he was this damn choked up about it

The thoughts were racing through his head that Otabek couldn’t handle long distance, that he couldn’t handle Yuri, he knew he wasn’t easy to get along with. He knew he overreacted, and what did he add to this long distance thing?

Otabek literally always did all the talking, he wouldn’t even go on skype for him, he was a shitty fucking boyfriend. He was even shittier for making Otabek cry, Yuri felt like he couldn’t breath, he was fucking everything up

“Beka I’m sorry” he literally sobbed out, it probably didn’t even sound like words, but fuck he didn’t want to hear Otabek crying anymore either, “It’s not your fault, I don’t want to break up” Yuri was speaking so fast, and loud, he didn’t have a clear sane head, he was just flooded with panic

Hearing Otabek laugh? Half laugh half cry down the phone back at him, Yuri was more than a little confused, he was still making ugly crying noises as he tried to calm down

“Yura, I don’t want to break up either. That, that wasn’t a option on the table. Well, I really fucking hope it wasn’t, that didn’t cross my mind, this is just a dumb fight right?”

The relief that flooded through Yuri hearing those words, “It, it is? Do you promise?” his face was still twisting, but he found himself laughing when Otabek laughed again down the phone, it was such a warm reassuring laugh

“Fuck of course I promise, you can’t get rid of me that easily” Otabek spoke teasing even though his voice was still croaking and he was sniffling, but Yuri being the dramatic one he always was, started sobbing again

“You said long distance was hard” 

“Oh Yura, shh calm down” Otabek sighed gently down the phone, “It is hard, it’s so fucking hard. I didn’t think it would be this hard, but, but your worth it. This is worth it..”

“And I’m hard work” Yuri kept sobbing, he wished he was his quiet too shy to speak person right now, but when his emotions were flaring he could never seem to shut the fuck up

“Baby, baby, will you calm down?” Otabek was speaking playfully, if this was a skype call he knew Otabek would have a smile on his face, he could tell by the way he was speaking to him

Yuri tried to calm his breathing, he fucking blew his nose down the phone, not realising how ugly that would sound, how he could be more embarrassing than he already was fucking being

When all his sniffles finally stopped, Otabek continued on, “Yura, Yuri Plisetsky, you are the most hard work I’ve ever known in my life. And I knew that before we were even friends, the Russian punk? You don’t just get that nickname for being an easy going person, your intense, you act through your anger first and ask questions later. But I knew that, I’m not going anywhere because of that” 

So now Yuri wanted to cry all over again because that was the nicest fucking thing he’d ever heard, Otabek Altin officially had the patience of a saint, and the thing that really got Yuri choked up, that Otabek admitted he was hard work

He didn’t lie, he didn’t even beat around the bush, and he still wanted him. He still wanted to be with him, Yuri exhaled trying not to cry again as he spoke, of course he couldn’t speak clear like Otabek did, he couldn’t even string together a few sentences that would even sound half as good as what Otabek said, but he did want Otabek to know that he was sorry, he owed him that

“I, I really am sorry.. I promise I don’t think your a slut” Yuri should have went on, he definitely should have said more, but Otabek hummed happily anyways

“Thank you, so, would you like to talk more about sex or my past or anything?” Yuri swallowed, “Can we do that in person? Over the phone, I think I overreact more”

Hearing Otabek laugh down the phone in agreeance made Yuri smile, a nervous yeah he’s a fucking idiot kind of smile. He didn’t think Otabek was a slut, he thought he’d been with a lot of people for his age, but again, who the fuck was Yuri to judge?

And what difference did it make, he just thought it was a lot because he was only just starting to be sexually active with Otabek now, Otabek was 2 years older than him. If Yuri wasn’t so damn shy maybe he’d have been with more people, he didn’t want to let his mind race again though

One more week, one more week then he was back face to face with Otabek. Yeah he had a fucking competition to win first, that really should be at the forefront of his mind and it wasn’t, all he could think about was sex, Otabek and Otabek’s past

He needed to focus on his skating, he was pretty sure he had all of his jumps down now. As long as he didn’t absolutely bomb he was confident he’d definitely be on the podium not a problem, and he was Yuri fucking Plisetsky, if he didn’t go for gold what the fuck was the point?

They ended the phone call with happy and casual I miss you’s, now it was all up to Yuri to not let his mind race, and practice until he felt like he couldn’t breath 

He couldn’t let anything come between gold, not his own stupid thoughts, not anything. And it wasn’t Otabek’s fault that he played on his mind 24 fucking 7, everything was literally all down to Yuri, he couldn’t let himself down with this

He didn’t want to be a person that got a boyfriend and let their career suffer, fuck he really didn’t want to be that person, but what was exciting him the most was the thought of seeing Otabek’s face again

Not his feet touching the ice, not the crowd cheering for him, not the feeling or the weight of the gold, being wrapped up in Otabek’s fucking arms 

Yuri had it so fucking bad he wanted to throw up, only one more fucking week..


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally seeing each other after 2 long months of being apart!

Yuri’s heart was racing, it had been pounding in his chest all damn night. He couldn’t get any sleep even though he absolutely should of, it was his short program tomorrow. He should be concentrating on that, getting a good solid sleep, replaying the steps in his head, listening religiously to the music and going over it again and again

He actually had some tough competition, as much as he was loath to admit it, JJ was proving a fucking opponent to beat, he didn’t want to give him the satisfaction, oh and he’d fucking kissed him. If his head wasn’t spinning enough he had to remember that next time he saw him

With all of that on his mind he definitely should be trying to relax, not fantasizing about a fucking boy. He couldn’t get Otabek out of his damn head, he was seeing him today. He’d had no sleep last night constantly thinking about seeing Otabek, to actually be with Otabek in person again, not just as a best friend, but as a boyfriend

It made Yuri’s head spin, he wanted to look perfect, he didn’t know what to wear, how to style his hair, it was ridiculous. What did Otabek like the best that he did? Was it his hair down, was it braided up, was it entirely off of his face? 

Did he like all this fucking cat print he wore? Did he look childish in it? With his hoody and sneakers? Otabek never looked childish, he always looked effortlessly cool. Maybe Yuri should have gone shopping? Bought his own leather jacket, but then would Otabek think he was trying too hard?

They were staying in the same hotel, Otabek even casually saying they should share the same room. Since they weren’t out to anyone yet, apart from fucking Victor and Yuuri who Yuri had sworn to secrecy about the whole thing, Yakov had bought him his own hotel room anyways

It would look more than a little unusual if he randomly asked to share one with Otabek, so they’d agreed to try and sneak into each others room if they could. Which only made Yuri sweat even more, and only made worse when Victor had teased Yuri about loud he was, and if they did have the same hotel room it wouldn’t take long for other skaters to hear if they were in close by rooms

He’d blushed far too red and yelled far too loud, storming off as always until he’d calmed down. Well until Yuuri had came into his room with a pork cutlet bowl and another damn lecture about safe sex and to not feel pressured into anything, Yuri shouldn’t have ate that calorie filled bowl of deliciousness, but he needed fucking cheering up

Since it was only 5 in the afternoon by the time he’d checked into his room, he had a long afternoon to kill. Otabek wasn’t answering his texts so Yuri presumed he must be on his way, collapsing onto his bed, Yuri wanted to scream

He would be seeing Otabek in a few hours maybe even less, he couldn’t help but feel awkward about the whole thing. Did he just go back into it as if they’d never been apart? Not that he was all that comfortable doing that in the first place, but after 2 months of getting to know each other more and phone sex, he felt more closer to Otabek through the phone calls than he did when he’d last seen him properly

Otabek had heard him literally moaning down the phone, he couldn’t feel shy now. Yuri would just groom himself before Otabek arrived, that would calm him down, he probably had at least an hour if not more

After his shower, he dried off his hair, staring at himself with a frown in front of the mirror. Would Otabek prefer to see more of his face, or did he like how his hair fell around his face? When he’d first ever spoke to Yuri properly in Barcelona he had his hair just flat and hanging around his face since he’d had his hood up most of the day, did he like that the best?

Sighing out trying to calm himself, Yuri didn’t want to look too prepped. It would look strange if he styled his hair the night before a competition, he usually wore it normal and not particularly in any kind of way

It would also look odd if he in jeans and not just sweats a vest or something, why would he still be fully dressed when he was just chilling in his hotel room by himself? Trying to look effortlessly chill, when he left anything but

When his phone pinged he nearly yelped, ‘Just landed, I shouldn’t be long. What room are you in Yura? Still want to see me tonight?’

Quickly texting back his room number with a yes, he maybe should have waited a few minutes before hitting send, but he couldn’t believe this was it. 2 long long months had actually passed, he was going to see Otabek for a whole fucking month now, an entire month, after a few days of skating, it would just be the two of them

Not getting a text back Yuri groaned out anxiously, he flicked on the tv not really paying attention. This was it, he was seeing Otabek, Otabek was literally on his way to see him right now, right this second, they were in the same country, in the same fucking time zone

Shit Yuri didn’t bring any lube, that was really something that he probably should have brought right? It had crossed his mind but he didn’t want to get fucking stopped at the airport with lube in his damn bag, he also didn’t want to presume anything, but it was normal to presume you and your boyfriend would fool around, surely

It was a bit late now, they’d just have to try and casually pick some up. Time seemed to drag slowly, so so so, slowly waiting for Otabek, but when he actually heard the knocking on his hotel room door, he wished he’d had more time, more time to think about what the fuck he should do when he answered the door

His pounding heart was back, thankfully his excitement to see Otabek seemed to overcome his nerves about it. Opening the door, a smile crept across his face, until he saw fucking Victor and Yuuri outside not Otabek

“Ugh what the fuck do you two idiots want?” Yuuri offered him a calm smile, but Victor just barged his way in, Yuri rolled his eyes, “Yuratchka we have some things for you” Victor answered settling himself on Yuri’s bed

“There’s still no pressure Yuri, but we just thought it was best if you had them. But I don’t think you should do..” Yuuri trailed off, Victor chiming in, “I wouldn’t recommend anal before a competition, it can really throw you off”

Yuri’s jaw dropped, “Oh my god can you both get the fuck out of here” he groaned, it made him cringe, it made him wish he could turn back time and never hear it ever again, coming from Victor and Yuuri it made him feel sick

Victor opened the paper bag he had ignoring Yuri entirely, something he always seemed to fucking do, placing on the bed lube and fucking condoms, “Okay that’s fucking enough, put your shit back in the bag and get out”

“Yuri, there’s no shame in enjoying sex..” Yuri wanted to fucking scream, “Get the fuck out of my room assholes!” he yelled, Victor always challenged him, always held his glare, it annoyed Yuri to no end

“Yuuri’s right, and even if your both clean, with a condom it can just be easier to clean up. You don’t want to be on the ice when..” 

Yuri snapped again, “Get the fuck out! Get the fuck out! I’m sick of hearing you two old fucking idiots going on about sex! Your making it gross!” 

The look on Victor's face made Yuri realise the error he’d made, “We’re making it gross? So it’s something you’ve done before? I thought you were waiting?” 

“That’s it, if you both won’t fucking leave I will!” Yuri turned to storm out of the room ignoring whatever fucking protest that Victor and Yuuri had, he didn’t even have any shoes on, but if he had to listen to them going on about sex one more time he’d end up killing one of them, snatching up a keycard he stormed out, slamming the door behind him

Beeping the elevator to go down to reception he wanted to ask if he could change his damn room, well he wasn’t going to really, all his shit was in his room, he’d told Otabek that was his room number and he’d left his phone in there, but he was that mad right now he wasn’t thinking straight

When the elevator doors opened on the ground he went to step out when he saw Otabek, waiting to go into the elevator, “Beka” Yuri smiled out, all of his anger about Victor and Yuuri seeming to melt away

He looked just as fucking good as Yuri remembered, all dressed in leather, his undercut looked freshly shaved, and the smell of his cologne made Yuri’s mind race with how his bed had smelled of it before he finally had to change his sheets begrudgingly

Otabek beamed him a fucking handsome smile, eyeing him up curiously, “No shoes?” he asked confused, Yuri blushed, 2 fucking seconds into seeing Otabek again and he was red faced, his feet were a fucking state from how he’d been practising 

The elevator doors went to shut, Otabek holding them open but not attempting to come inside, “Are you getting out on this floor?” Otabek asked, he looked entirely confused by the whole thing, Yuri shook his head rolling his eyes

“Victor and Yuuri wouldn’t get of my damn room, I just needed to escape” Otabek laughed, shaking his head with a smile, as he stepped inside of the elevator with his suitcase

Yuri’s heart was pounding, he felt a little disappointed that Otabek hadn’t touched him yet, but the second the doors closed, he felt Otabek’s hand in his hair holding his face, and that fucking perfect mouth on his

Yuri couldn’t help wrapping his arms around his neck, fuck he knew he missed him, but actually being here with him, he didn’t know he’d missed him this fucking much

Being on the phone with him for two months didn’t even compare for a second to this, and since he’d had two months without kissing of course he was still no better, clashing their teeth together the second Otabek’s tongue had teased its way across Yuri’s lip

Otabek didn’t slow down though, his strong mouth taking control, Yuri felt himself getting fucking lost, he felt dizzy. Running his fingers up Otabek’s undercut, the way Otabek was holding his face, he felt like they were the only people in the world

It felt like a kiss with so much behind it, only made a million times better when Otabek groaned into the kiss, Yuri just wanted them to take their clothes off right then and there, nerves be damned 

Yuri surprised himself by pressing himself further into Otabek, he didn’t yelp when Otabek lifted his legs up, Yuri instinctively wrapping them around him. Maybe all this phone sex was calming him down about things, and maybe he really had just fucking missed his boyfriend

Otabek had a arm wrapped around his back, the other holding under his thighs, then Yuri felt himself being pressed against the wall of the elevator, Yuri was easy to get going at the best of times, but he found himself half fucking hard already

Yuri wasn’t even sure what to do with his tongue, he was being a messy kisser, but Otabek didn’t seem to care, their lips were literally coated in spit, Yuri was breathing heavy against Otabek, he probably sounded like a panting dog, Yuri never felt sexy, he never could understand why Otabek wanted him

But being pressed into the wall of the elevator after not seeing each other for 2 months, Yuri definitely wanted this. When the door went to ping open Otabek quickly moved his hand holding the door close button, still kissing him, the kisses verging on desperate now

Otabek was kissing him that hard that he thought his lips would be bruised, the noises that filled the elevator sounded so fucking sloppy and messy. Yuri should have been grossed out, but his head was literally dizzy with Otabek kissing him

It was all he wanted to do or think about, he never wanted to leave, he didn’t want this moment to end. Otabek seemed to be breathing heavy against him as well, then when he felt Otabek grind his hips slightly, Yuri gasped slightly his mouth falling open

Okay so he kind of got a little shock, but he also felt like he couldn’t breath, and he also thought he might cum in his pants if they just grinded up against each in a fucking elevator, Otabek didn’t make any attempt to move away from his face, pressing his forehead against Yuri’s

“I missed you so fucking much” there was that rough voice that Yuri loved so much, that made him shiver, and made him cum as Otabek hummed dirty things into his ears from thousands of miles away

Otabek was breathing heavy against Yuri’s face, Yuri doing the same, when Otabek did it though, it was hot, when Yuri did it, he felt like a dog in heat or something

Stroking up his undercut Yuri tried to catch his breath, “I missed you Beka” Otabek smiled, “Think they’ll be out your room?” Yuri groaned, “I fucking hope so” 

Hearing Otabek laugh, even just a little light one, it was literally music to Yuri’s ears. Otabek gently put Yuri down, the cold floor feeling good on his feet, he always felt 10 degrees too hot around Otabek at all fucking times

Otabek still had his finger on the door close button, Yuri felt confident, and he also couldn’t resist even if he wanted too, leaning up to plant a kiss on Otabek’s cheek, it was lame yeah, but he could do that, this was his fucking boyfriend

After the greeting he’d just got, he felt confident that a kiss on the cheek wouldn’t be rejected. The smile that Otabek beamed him as he turned around was so fucking worth it aswell, Otabek leaning down to kiss Yuri’s lips one last time, Yuri blushed as Otabek pulled away

“You’re so cute Yura” he hummed out easily, as he moved his finger, the doors opening and thankfully no sign of Victor or Yuuri. Since there was two elevators he desperately hoped that they would have gone down the other one, he so fucking hoped that they weren’t on the same floor as him

Or even fucking worse still in his room, as they started walking down the hallway Otabek spoke with a tone of worry, “You do know your little feet are the most precious things right? You shouldn’t be walking around barefoot the night before your short program”

Yuri groaned, “I know but I didn’t have much of a choice, you didn’t have to listen to those fucking idiots” just thinking back on it made Yuri cringe, “You live with them, you must like them even just a little bit” Otabek was teasing him, and about Victor and Yuuri it always worked

Yuri turned back to glare at Otabek who had the biggest fucking smirk on his face, Yuri rolled his eyes, “You know I like them” he grumbled, he was loathe to admit it, but of course he liked those dumb fucking idiots

Even if they did his head in nearly constantly, they were nice people, they understood Yuri’s moods and anger and didn’t scream at him for it

“We’ll see how much you like them in a second” Otabek hummed, nodding his head forwards, they were only just leaving his fucking room now. Yuri wasn’t in the mood of this shit, if he had to hear about sex from them one more time he’d snap

“Otabek!” Victor yelled loudly, in his overbearing happy voice, Yuri was about to scream when Otabek tentatively reached for his hand, entwining their fingers together, his thumb stroking gently, so that felt really fucking nice

Otabek had barely answered with a hello when they started with the no anal before the competition speech, Yuri felt himself blushing, he didn’t know how the fuck Otabek kept moving his thumb calmly, stroking over Yuri’s fingers gently

Yuri squeezed his fingers, he was going to fucking erupt. He could barely speak about sex with Otabek let alone with them, and it was still a pretty touchy subject between them

“Victor” Otabek actually cut him off mid rant, “I appreciate your concern, but it makes me uncomfortable. Your looking out for Yuri I know that, but so am I, do you really think I’d want to do anything that would affect his performance?” speaking as always so firm and non aggressively, always so rational and it actually made Victor shut the fuck up

What more could Yuri want? Victor gave Otabek a serious stare down, “Can we just fucking go? I’m around these old fuckers enough” Yuri tugged Otabek’s hand, Otabek following, Yuuri trying to make peace as always telling him a warm goodbye and that it was nice to see Otabek, Yuri shook his head in annoyance pulling out his key card as fast as he fucking could

The door had barely shut behind them when he felt Otabek’s mouth back on his, Otabek lifting him up easily pressing him up against the wall, Yuri could barely register what was happening but his mouth seemed to work for him

Otabek was kissing him so hard and deep again that Yuri felt like he couldn’t breathe, the way Otabek’s strong body was holding him up, how it was pressed so tightly against his, all he could smell was Otabek, all he could taste was Otabek

He felt like he was drowning in the best kind of way, his hands were running up and down his undercut desperately, one hand gripping his hair, the way Otabek’s mouth was moving against his, the noises that Otabek was making, deep groans that made Yuri’s hairs stand on end

Fuck Yuri felt like he was shivering, “I fucking missed you so much” Otabek spoke against his lips before devouring his mouth again, Yuri wasn’t wearing boxers, under his sweats he knew his dick was getting hard, he knew it would be very obvious, not that he thought Otabek would mind

But Yuri’s mind had started to race, even more so when Otabek carried him over to the bed laying him down then pulling away, as he tugged off his leather jacket, Yuri never felt so small on the bed

Otabek kept his hot smile almost a smirk, as his tshirt came off too, kicking off his biker boots with a loud thud, how Yuri forgot how muscular and big Otabek was he’d never know. He felt like he was seeing him topless for the first time, like this was all his first time all over again

He was nervous and excited all at once, Yuri swallowed as Otabek moved between his legs, leaning down he kissed at his stomach where his vest had rolled up, Yuri felt like he was being devoured

Otabek’s strong mouth was almost roughly kissing and tonguing at his skin, it felt so desperate, Yuri felt like he couldn’t breathe. His boyfriend trailed his tongue along his hip bone, delving it lower under his sweats

Yuri couldn’t help his reaction, jolting up a little with a nervous stop, Otabek instantly sat back on his heels, he looked how he always looked when Yuri got a shock, so fucking ashamed

Yuri quickly rushed out, “Beka, it’s me, fuck it’s me. I, we’ve done this before, I don’t know why, I just got, it’s still new” he knew he was babbling, he knew he felt like the biggest fucking idiot, he was getting nervous around his boyfriend who he’d had near constant phone sex for the past month, what the fuck was his problem

Otabek swallowed as if he was calming himself down, Yuri’s eyes fell to the bulge in his dark jeans, his mind racing with his previous conversation about sex, he’d said he wanted too, but when he was actually faced with it, he wasn’t sure how he felt

Otabek stood up from the bed, with an annoyed sigh, Yuri reaching out for him, “Beka..” Otabek cut him off, “Yura, fuck, I’m so sorry. I know your fucking nervous, that’s fine, I’m such an asshole. I just got so fucking excited I didn’t even think about what you wanted” 

Yuri exhaled trying to level his head, as he gently shook it, he could do this, he could communicate, “Beka, I, I do want this. I just, fuck, I panic, it’s fucking dumb. But I promise, I’d tell you if I didn’t” 

Otabek still looked conflicted with himself, Yuri felt fucking conflicted too though, he was sure what he actually wanted, he did want this, he knew he did, but why did he react so negatively to it? Why was he so fucking nervous?

Yuri shuffled closer putting his hands on Otabek’s hips, Otabek stroking a hand through his hair, “What are you doing baby?” he asked softly, Yuri didn’t fucking know, he wanted to try and do what Otabek did to him

For all it made Yuri’s skin feel like he was on fire, that he wanted to squirm under his touch, but the way Otabek had kissed his stomach, it absolutely made him hard, he just had to go and overreact

But he wanted Otabek to feel like that, he wanted it to feel good for Otabek. He didn’t want to be babysat during this, he was the ice tiger of fucking Russia, he could blow his boyfriend, and then he could win fucking gold 

Yuri knew his kisses to Otabek’s muscular stomach were tentative, they weren’t anything like Otabek’s kisses to his. And his stomach definitely didn’t look like Otabek’s, Otabek was bronze, he had a perfect trail of dark hair leading from his belly button, and he had fucking abs, they were hard to touch, and twitched as Yuri kissed along them, fuck Yuri didn’t have a problem staying hard doing this

“God I fucking missed you” Otabek groaned above him, it nearly made Yuri laugh, he wished he knew what Otabek saw in him, but he wasn’t going to argue it. And he definitely wasn’t going to stop, he didn’t lick like Otabek, it was hot when Otabek did it, Yuri thought if he did he’d just look like he slobbered all over him, that wasn’t sexy

Fuck Yuri didn’t think he could be sexy, but it was do or die time, he was going to blow Otabek. He wasn’t going to back out, he’d done it before, he could do it again

Moving one of his hands from Otabek’s hips to stroke through the very obvious bulge in his jeans, Otabek’s reaction was instant, a low groan, as always. Fuck he was big, maybe even bigger than Yuri remembered, but he was doing this, he wanted this, he truly did, even if his mind was racing

Yuri kind of didn’t want to pull his face away from Otabek’s stomach and stop kissing him, one it would show off how fucking red he just knew he was, and second then he might have to actually made eye contact, and that made him burn up even more, it made his head feel dizzy

But since there was a belt stopping him from progressing any further with this blow job, he needed to do this, pulling his face away, he still didn’t want to look up, his hands both moving to the belt trying to figure it out

He didn’t realise how shaky his hands were until Otabek reached his own hand down, pulling them up to his mouth planting gentle kisses across them, “You okay Yura?” he asked so calmly, still continuing the soft kisses

“Mhm” Yuri hummed out, feeling more just a little fucking embarrassed. “You sure, we can stop at any time?” 

Yuri rolled his eyes, giving him a little glare, Otabek smirked at him, “Okay baby” the way Otabek spoke, it was a little of a growl, Yuri thought his heart was going to stop, Otabek let go of his hands reaching down to undo his belt

Yuri’s mouth went dry, why the fuck was that simple movement so fucking hot, holy shit. Yuri actually thought he might cum in his pants, Otabek didn’t even stop there, popping his button, slowly, so fucking slowly unzipping, Yuri felt mezmorized, he couldn’t take tear his eyes away

When Otabek tugged off his jeans fully, Yuri was literally eye level with his tight fucking black boxers, his huge dick filling them up, glancing up to Otabek’s face, Otabek gave him nothing but a soft smile though, his face always so reassuring

So why did Yuri feel like he couldn’t breathe, he felt like he was going to have a panic attack. He had a nearly fully naked and definitely fucking hard, handsome Kazakh man in his hotel room, that was surely every boy’s gay wet dream right?

“Yura” Otabek started, but Yuri had to cut him off, he needed to open a fucking window or something, he was going to throw up. He felt like all of his emotions from the past 2 months had came rushing to the surface all at once, every single negative thought seemed to flash through his head

“I’m gunna throw up” he panted out, and not in a hot way. He felt suddenly drenched in sweat, as he leapt from the bed opening a window, when he turned back to face Otabek, he was pulling on a tshirt, looking to him with a concerned expression

“Wanna take a walk outside?” Otabek asked, his voice still calm, but it definitely sounded worried. Yuri shook his head, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I think I’m having a panic attack”

Yuri couldn’t breathe, he felt like his chest was tight, he thought he was going to burst into tears, everything seemed fuzzy. He was such a fucking loser, who the fuck did this with their boyfriend who he hadn’t seen in two long months

“Your okay, I’m here alright. I’m not going anywhere, do you want some water?” Yuri shook his head, his mind honestly felt like it was screaming with itself, every single insecurity he had came rushing to the surface, his entire body was shaking

“It’s normal” Otabek offered, Yuri huffed out, trying to catch his breath, “What, going to fucking blow your boyfriend who you haven’t seen in two months and having a panic attack, yeah I hear about that all the fucking time”

Otabek shrugged, “It is, it’s normal. Your normal Yura, you take all the time you need” 

Yuri should have melted, but since mind was still in absolute overdrive and he felt like his body was shutting down on him, he couldn’t help but snap

“This isn’t fucking normal Beka, I’m a fucking mess. Just go, I know you fucking want too”

Otabek took a step forward, but didn’t try to get too close, which if Yuri was feeling level headed he would have appreciated, “Do I look like I want to go? If all we ever did was kiss and cuddle Yura, I’d still be here” 

Otabek hummed as if it was so fucking obvious, “Don’t fucking give me that shit, you love sex, you can’t fucking wait until we fuck” Yuri spat at him, Yuri kind of even knew he was being unreasonable, but standing next to this open window as he felt the cool air hit against his sweaty skin, it was making him feel even more clammy, even more unhinged

“I do love sex, your right, I can’t wait until we do have it. But if it was something you never wanted to do, I’d live with it. I’m with you Yura, because I’m crazy about you. I’m crazy about you, for you. Not what’s between your legs, I’m not going to lie, that’s definitely an added bonus, but, I can take it or leave it”

He had the audacity to shrug again, as if it was all so obvious, he kept eye contact the entire time, and his voice was steady, it was really hard for Yuri, even in his crazed mental state to jump to the conclusion that he was lying

It didn’t feel like he was lying, it all felt so genuine, so much so that Yuri thought he might burst into tears. Thankfully he had some self control at least, even if it was just a tiny bit

Yuri felt himself deflate, suddenly realising that he was irrational, and what the fuck happened to his speech about being the ice tiger of Russia and sucking dick? 

“I, I don’t know what to say” Yuri sighed out, Otabek gave him that fucking handsome smile that got him, every single damn time

“You don’t need to say anything, can I come closer?” Yuri couldn’t help but groan in annoyance with himself, moving closer himself and just burrowing his face into Otabek’s chest, wrapping his arms around him, he didn’t want to look at his face, he felt embarrassed enough 

“I’m sorry” he mumbled against his chest, Otabek moving his own arms to stroke down Yuri’s back planting a kiss on his head, “You don’t need to be sorry for anything Yura” the rumble of Otabek’s chest as he spoke, pulsed through Yuri, he had all the fucking reassurance he needed, for now anyways

Yuri didn’t feel strong enough to say anything else, Otabek just holding him felt like more than enough to calm him the rest of the way down, “Wanna get a really early night?” Otabek offered

“Only if you take your shirt off again” Yuri kept his mumbled tone, it would take a lot for his embarrassment to disappear after such a dramatic outburst

Otabek laughed out gently, Yuri pulling away but not daring to look at him, clambering into bed as he slowly lifted up his eyes to watch Otabek take off the tshirt again, his heart fluttered but didn’t pound, which was a good start

Yuri averted his eyes when Otabek smirked at him, when he got into bed, he tugged Yuri into his arms playfully, tickling down his sides and planting silly kisses all over his face and neck

How Yuri could have the hottest boyfriend in the entire world, who also was the softest, kindest, sweetest man, he didn’t know how he got so fucking lucky, he didn’t know Otabek could have all these different sides to him

When Yuri had calmed down, fully calmed down, now only blushing red slightly as Otabek stroked a hand through his hair, looking to him like he was something special and not just a hot mess

“Yura, I wish you knew just how much I missed you baby” not wanting to fuck anything up and actually speak, Yuri opted to lean in instead, not clash their teeth together this time, just slowly kiss

He wished he could express without being in a fit of tears or a bout of anger just how much he missed him, how special Otabek was to him, how he felt so fucking crazy about him too

Feeling Otabek’s hand trail up his back under his vest, Yuri didn’t flinch, he tried to steady himself, he felt a lot more calm now than he did at the start. Just being Otabek for a few hours and it was perfect, it was better than any time he’d had over the past 2 months 

Fuck it, Yuri was going to do this. Pulling away from the kiss, the soft smile Otabek gave him, made him feel even more sure, squirming away from Otabek’s hand, he tugged off his vest, laying back down and kissing him firmer this time

The feeling of skin on skin, it made everything 100 times hotter. Otabek tugged him in tighter, his strong arms wrapping around him and firmly gripping him, even though Yuri’s heart was racing, he didn’t want this to fucking end, he was going to do this

Making out a little messily, just the feel of Otabek’s tongue in his mouth, stroking against his, their topless bodies pressed against each other, Yuri knew he’d be sweating. He knew the noises filling the room should have made him feel sick, the sound of loud messy kissing, Otabek’s occasional groan into the kiss, Yuri was breathing heavy, making a little whine himself

He knew he was hard, how could he not be pressed this close to Otabek, feeling his hands running up and down his body, Yuri had threaded his hands through Otabek’s hair, not pulling, but he needed to hold onto something, trying to ground himself

When Otabek pulled away, Yuri didn’t have time to try and chase his mouth, Otabek’s hot mouth was back on him kissing across his face, down his neck, Yuri let out a cringey moan, Otabek kissing his neck even harder, his hands moving to his lower back holding him firmly

Yuri’s head felt dizzy, but nothing like it felt before at least, hitching his leg over Otabek’s hip, he wanted some kind of friction on his dick, letting out another loud moan when he felt Otabek’s own bulge rub against him

Yuri did fucking yelp though when Otabek flipped him onto his back, thrusting down onto him, Yuri’s mouth dropped as he couldn’t seem to control the noises leaving his mouth, Otabek looked like he was about to devour him

His eyes were wide, he was breathing heavier, and the front of his hair was hanging messily down his face, Yuri held eye contact, he didn’t want to look away, not when Otabek looked at him like that 

Otabek sunk down, thrusting his hips as he did, Yuri moved his head back into the pillow, it felt so fucking good. So fucking good that he might even cum from that only, he bit his lip again, he didn’t want to keep making these embarrassing noises, it was bad enough over the phone

But then Otabek was kissing him again, grinding into him, it was hard to worry about anything else. Even how much the room seemed to be spinning, or how hot Yuri felt, he wanted his sweats off, he wanted Otabek’s boxers off

Trying to get out of his own head, he tentatively tugged at Otabek’s boxers, Otabek pulling away again, pressing his forehead against Yuri’s, “Shit Yura, are you sure? We can just do this” his voice sounded rough, Yuri loved when Otabek actually sounded just as affected as him, not calm and cool

Yuri nodded quickly, his breathing heavy against Otabek’s face, he felt like he couldn’t speak, but he wanted to let Otabek know how serious he was too. Squirming underneath him to pull off his own pants, Otabek pressed a hard kiss to his face before pulling all the way off

Looking at his own erection when his own pants were off, Yuri couldn’t help feeling self conscious, his dick on full display, hard against his stomach, all of the room lights were still on so it was bright, he couldn’t hide anywhere, his pale skin was peppered with red patches from how hot he felt and how nervous

Then a bronze hand was on his hip, “You look so fucking perfect” looking up to Otabek he was now fully naked too, looking at his dick again, holy shit

No wonder Yuri had panicked before, it was so different to Yuri’s, Yuri tried to swallow, but then Otabek’s smooth calm voice was back, “My face is up here Yura” he teased, Yuri huffed out a laugh as his face went red, flashing his eyes up to Otabek

He was looking at him so softly, all of his intensity seemed to have cooled off, not that Yuri particularly liked that. But he felt reassured when Otabek was like this, “You okay?” Otabek checked in, Yuri rolled his eyes, but tugged his face down to him anyways

He was okay, he was just nervous, but he was doing this. When they brushed up against each other, Yuri couldn’t help but moan into Otabek’s mouth again, it felt so good, they weren’t exactly lined up together, but the feel of Otabek’s bare skin, his strong muscular body against him was more than enough, the feel of his dick occasionally rubbing past his own was perfect

Yuri wanted more, but he didn’t know how to ask for it, he didn’t know if he was ready to suck Otabek’s dick again or not. That thought alone annoyed him, it was something he’d done before, he’d made Otabek cum from it, why was he so scared now?

It was hard to think with everything that was happening right now, Otabek’s hot mouth on his own, the feel that he could cum at any given second, grinding his own hips up into Otabek, he couldn’t believe he liked this sort of thing

Otabek had been his best friend just a few months ago, and now they were in a place that Yuri didn’t even think was possible. Everything about it should have been gross, it was the night before his short program, if he fucked up tomorrow on the ice he would only have himself to blame

When Otabek pulled away from his mouth he stayed so close, Yuri opening his eyes nervously, still feeling his breath on his face, Otabek had his eyes shut, resting his head against Yuri’s, he looked like he was trying to calm himself down

Yuri frowned he hated that he made Otabek do this, all because he was nervous for no fucking reason. “Can I touch you Yura?” Otabek’s rough voice always did it for him, Otabek’s anything always did it for him

Yuri knew his heart was pounding in his chest, and he probably looked a state, but this was exactly what he wanted, realising how on display he’d feel, as dumb as he fucking sounded, he couldn’t help it, “Can we turn off the light?” his face was already red he knew it would be, it couldn’t get any redder than it already was

Otabek leaned forward kissing him gently, Yuri still felt like Otabek was holding something back, slowly he pulled away again, opening his eyes and offering a smile, “Sure, but can we keep a lamp on? I want to be able to see you Yura” 

Yuri wanted to shrink into the mattress, he nodded, but he really fucking hoped that it would be dark. Well in a sense, Yuri still wanted to see Otabek, just not the other way around, Otabek flicked on the light before he padded across the room to the light switch

Yuri tried to take in his entire body, fuck he looked so fucking good, Yuri so badly wanted to touch himself just at the sight of Otabek’s naked body. Then he turned around again, Yuri wouldn’t be able to look at Otabek in the same way on the ice ever again

His dick was so fucking big, Otabek seemed unphased by walking around naked, heading back over to the bed he smiled at Yuri, letting out a low rough laugh

“Your going to give me a complex” Otabek teased, jokingly pretending to hide his dick under his hand, Yuri groaned out in annoyance at himself, putting his face in his hands and hiding away, feeling the bed sink down and Otabek’s hand trail down his stomach slowly, so fucking slowly 

Yuri gasped, moving his hands and looking at Otabek, Otabek held his gaze stroking across his stomach teasingly, going close to his dick but never actually touching, his touch was barely there, his fingertips just skimming past his skin but Yuri was squirming under his touch, he almost fucking moaned

“Can I touch you?” oh this fucking again, Yuri forgot that Otabek needed permission every step of the way. Not that Yuri could kind of blame him, whenever he’d done something without asking Yuri had pretty much freaked out, he was so embarrassing, and Otabek was nothing short of perfect, he felt so guilty

Yuri nodded as he managed out a yes, Otabek instantly moved his hand to Yuri’s dick, but he was still doing featherlight touches, stroking with just the tips of his fingers up and down, teasing at his balls then back up again 

Yuri felt like he was going to go insane, he was moaning and panting under these simple touches, he was leaking all over his stomach, if he was Otabek he’d have laughed at how pathetic looked and sounded, but he wasn’t, he was watching intently, focusing on Yuri’s face, Yuri wanted to look away but then Otabek had a firm grip around him, Yuri’s mouth fell open as he whined

“Can I touch myself, while I touch you?” Yuri shook his head, managing to speak up, “I’ll do it” so he should have said something sexy, or at least tried to sound hot like Otabek seemed to effortless do, but that’s all he could manage out

Yuri panicked when Otabek took away his hand, but he felt himself getting pulled onto his knees on the bed, Otabek straight in front of him, kissing up his neck, humming in his ear, “Do you have any lube?”

For all Yuri wanted to fucking kill Victor and Yuuri, and he did, regardless if he was grateful now for their package of lube and condoms, nodding against Otabek’s mouth as he begrudgingly pulled away 

Reaching for the bag, he pulled out the lube, the bag spilled over letting all of the condoms fall onto the nightstand, turning back to Otabek, Otabek was looking at him curiously, Yuri shook his head huffing out an annoyed sigh

“Fucking Victor and Yuuri got them for us” he muttered, Otabek hummed as he lifted Yuri’s head kissing him deeply again, taking the lube out of Yuri’s hand, this was better than huffing about Victor and Yuuri, they were soon forgotten, especially when he heard Otabek uncap the bottle

Otabek kissed along his face to his ear again, tucking his hair behind it, whenever Otabek whispered in his ear it made Yuri shiver, “It’s going to be cold baby” Otabek started nibbling Yuri’s ear, Yuri felt himself melting, why was something so fucking silly like Otabek biting his ear hot?! 

Yuri squirmed when he felt the cold lube on himself, but then he had to try and keep himself from falling when Otabek’s tight grip was back on him, the hotness of Otabek’s hand made him forget all about the cold lube

He felt too much all at once, Otabek set a slow steady pace, he was still breathing into his ear, teasing his tongue and nibbling, then his other hand traced up to his nipple, Yuri whined as he felt Otabek’s fingers teasing his chest, getting his nipple hard then pinching it so slightly, then going back to rubbing

Why did that feel so fucking good?! Yuri had to lean forward, resting his head on Otabek’s shoulder, “Oh fuck” he panted out, his heart was racing, but Otabek kept his slow pace, Yuri thought he was going to pass out, he’d never felt so fucking good

Feeling Otabek’s own erection touch his hip, Yuri felt guilt wash over him, shit, pulling away slightly as good as everything felt he wanted to make Otabek feel good too, he had shaky hands pouring the lube across his fingers as he looked down at Otabek’s dick

He could touch it, it wasn’t a big deal, he didn’t want to overthink this shit, it was a simple hand job. He’d done that when they were just fucking friends, he could do that when he was his boyfriend

It was just how big it was, how dark, how unsimilar to Yuri’s, it was cut, Otabek had said it was just the same in terms of what felt good. But Yuri still felt nervous, he still wanted to make him feel good

“Yura, you don’t have to do anything..” “Shut up” Yuri snapped, he didn’t mean to cut him off with such an aggressive attitude, but he wanted to do this, he didn’t want Otabek to think he didn’t want this

Otabek let go out Yuri’s dick, shuffling back a little staring at him, “Wow, now I really want you to touch my dick” he spoke sarcastically, his face was firm

Yuri had a hand full of fucking lube, and he was getting in his own head, all of his insecurities always came out as anger when he didn’t mean them too

“What the fuck does that mean?” he shot back, Otabek rolled his eyes, “Exactly that, your losing your temper at me, I haven’t done anything wrong” he spoke firmly, and he spoke fairly, nothing what Otabek was a lie or false

So why couldn’t Yuri just calm the fuck down? “I’m scared okay asshole! I’m sorry I can’t just suck your fucking dick like all of the other people you’ve been with!” 

Otabek sighed as he shook his head, “What are you scared of Yura? You don’t have to do anything I told you, stop pushing yourself if your not ready, we can wait until after skating is done to do anything if that’s what you want” 

“I want to push myself, I want to fucking do this without freaking out, will you, will you just come fucking back here?” Yuri hated himself when he was like this, he wanted to calm down and finish what they’d started, he wanted Otabek back pressed up against him not looking at him with a firm face

Otabek looked like he was trying to get a read on Yuri, but Yuri shook his head in anger of course, “Just fucking lie down with me again, is that so much to ask?” 

“I’m not going to come near you, unless you hear what I have to say?” Yuri rolled his eyes, “Fucking fine” 

“Just because I feel comfortable and confident to do things to you, that doesn’t mean you should feel pressure to do the same. You can go at your own pace, if I have to touch myself while you get your head around things, that’s fine. But please stop or at least try to stop losing your temper with me about it, it’s not your fault and it’s not mine, if I ever push you or make you feel uncomfortable then that’s fine, fucking scream at me all you like. But if I’m just telling you it’s okay to stop, when I don’t think your ready for something, please don’t shout at me?”

So that was a lot to fucking take in, and Yuri felt like the biggest asshole. Otabek held eye contact the whole time, speaking in his calm steady tone, so fucking level headed, “Can you come here now?” Yuri asked, his voice was sheepish, but the fact that Otabek had stayed and not just stormed out it was making Yuri want to cry, he seemed to get him, like really fucking get him, he’d even call him out on shit and that was kind of perfect

Otabek moved to lay down, Yuri nuzzling in as close as he could side by side, Yuri leaned in for a kiss, not a dirty desperate kiss or anything, just a, I’m sorry I’m an asshole, and I’m not very good with my words kind of kiss

The fact that Otabek kissed him back was nothing short of a miracle, kissing slowly, Yuri felt ready to say it now, “I’m sorry” he made sure to speak firmly, not angrily, not as a whisper, not because he needed to say it, but he wanted to more than anything, he was sorry, it was genuine

He even looked right into Otabek’s eyes as he said it, but the smile that Otabek gave him was worth everything, not wanting Otabek to say anything else, Yuri started speaking again, “Now can we, yknow, get back to what we were doing before I ruined it?” 

That wasn’t quite as firm, and it was more of a whisper, but Otabek smirked nonetheless, “And what was that Yura?” 

Yuri deserved this, he deserved the teasing, still holding eye contact he still had a hand coated in sticky lube, he reached his hand down gripping at Otabek’s dick, which wasn’t as hard anymore, but Otabek still groaned into the touch, which definitely got Yuri’s erection peaking with interest again

It was strange how when he didn’t overthink every little thing, that he didn’t even feel nervous currently slowly jerking off Otabek, still trying to get him back to where he was, going back to messy desperate kisses in no time, especially when Otabek touched him again

Yuri didn’t mean too, he wished he could eat his words, but when Otabek twisted his wrist slightly, he couldn’t help breaking away from the kiss, with a breathy moan of, “Beka” 

“I love how you say my name Yura, do you know how hard you made me fucking cum listening to you down the phone? Moaning for me, just for me” Otabek’s rough voice, it sounded like the dirtiest thing ever 

Yuri couldn’t help moaning, he was always fucking loud, “God baby, you don’t know how good you sound, how good you feel with your hand wrapped around my dick” 

That was it, he was so fucking close, he was going to cum all over Otabek’s hot fucking muscular stomach, then he was going to watch him skating on the ice tomorrow, Otabek was just as sweaty as Yuri right now, he looked like the hottest fucking mess, his dick was pulsing in his hand, Yuri was making him feel like this, making him sound like this like

“I’m gunna cum, I’m gunna cum” Yuri rushed out, well more whined out, Otabek moved him onto his back, tightening his grip, leaning over him, crashing their mouths together, Yuri’s toes curled into the sheets, he had his legs spread wide, they were shaking as he tried to moan into Otabek’s mouth

His hand still working over Otabek, then Otabek let out the most perfect sounded groan, right into Yuri’s mouth, as he bucked his hips into Yuri’s hand, Yuri practically fucking screamed as he came, “Beka, Beka fuck, fuck you feel so fucking good” he didn’t want to say that, he just couldn’t seem to stop what was repeating around in his head from actually leaving his mouth

“Yura, Yura, fuck baby, yes” Otabek groaned again as he spilled onto Yuri, still thrusting into his hand, Yuri crashing their mouths together again, he wanted to catch his breath, but he also wanted to never stop kissing Otabek, this feeling right now was perfect

Anything with Otabek was perfect, he’d never felt so connected to someone. The way Otabek made him cum, it always made him feel weak, like he couldn’t move, like his legs were jelly, Otabek pulled away panting slightly into his mouth, resting his forehead against him again

“You’re so perfect, I’m so lucky” Yuri smiled like a fucking idiot, nuzzling his face slightly into Otabek’s, okay so he just wanted to rub their noses together cutely, because he was a fucking idiot

Otabek sighed happily, “You make me so fucking happy” “Am I really the only person whos ever been your boyfriend?” he asked curiously, he didn’t know why he wanted to ask fucking questions about Otabek’s previous sex when they were basking in the afterglow but he couldn’t stop himself

Otabek nodded as he smiled, lifting off him, taking his hands and leading him to the bathroom, Otabek flicked the shower on as he turned back to Yuri with a smile

“Do you want to talk about stuff now?” Otabek offered, Yuri shrugged, “There’s, er, not much I want to know I guess. How old were you when you lost your virginity?” 

“17, the other boy was 19. I’d fooled around at 16, but didn’t have sex until I was 17. That was my first time trying bottoming and I just hated it” his honest answer made Yuri feel more anxious, he didn’t know if he actually wanted to know after all

“Then I topped after that with other partners, I’ve never taken someones virginity before, so that’s why I’m not sure if it’s going to hurt, or just sting, or maybe nothing. You might not even like it, I’m not sure” Otabek shrugged

That answer made him feel conflicted, Yuri felt pretty sure he would like it, it definitely excited him even if he was just a ball of nerves. He felt strangely proud that he was Otabek’s only boyfriend and the only person who’s virginity he was going to take, as fucking dumb as that was

“Let’s er, head into the shower” the second they stepped into it, Otabek was pressed against him, kissing him in the stream, it felt like fucking heaven, so Yuri of course had to ask more awkward questions

“Why didn’t you like bottoming?” he asked literally with his mouth still pressed against Otabek’s, but he was kind of dying to know, “I just didn’t like it, being fingered made me feel uncomfortable. I’ve tried a few times since, and it’s always the same, I just don’t think I like that kind of thing” 

Yuri looked up at him a little insecure, his hair was all pushed off of his face, hanging soaking wet down his back, he was literally so on display, “Do you think I’m weird? For liking it?” 

Otabek frowned at him shaking his head, “No Yura of course not, some people like it, some people don’t. I’ve had people in the past not like it either and we just did other stuff, it’s not anything, it is what it is” he shrugged, as always

Otabek squeezed his arms around him tighter, smiling at him softly, “I know I fucking love doing it to you, and if you like it too, then that sounds perfect to me” 

“You like doing it to me?” Yuri asked curiously, he was actually really fucking proud of himself for holding eye contact and not even stuttering, here they were communicating

“I really fucking love doing it to you, I love your ass Yura, there’s so many things I want to do to it” okay so Yuri couldn’t hold eye contact after that, but he was smiling, nuzzling his face into Otabek a little, he managed to speak up again, “Like what?” he asked a little unsure

Otabek moved to his ear, humming before he spoke, “Like, kissing all over it, leaving you little love bites, just holding it, teasing my tongue over your tight little hole..” Yuri nearly screamed in embarrassment, “Ah stop” he moved himself away, his face was beaming red and burning up, but he had a fucking smile, like maybe he might actually like the sound of it, even if everything else in his body screamed that he shouldn’t

Otabek smirked at him, laughing out, “Yura it’s a really normal thing to enjoy yknow, I would love to do it to you sometime” 

Yuri felt scandalised, the thought of Otabek’s strong tongue against, well there, it made him shiver. Why did that sound appealing? It should be gross, no it was gross, right?

Yuri couldn’t help his own nervous laugh, as he tried to casually compose himself and clean himself up a bit, Otabek shook his head with a smirk, “I know you like the sound of it Yura” he hinted his eyes downward, Yuri felt so fucking on display his stupid fucking dick was half hard even though he’d just came recently, Yuri shook his head trying to dismiss it

Yelping in surprise when Otabek pinned him up against the shower wall, feeling Otabek pressed up against his back, as his face was on cool wall, it was enough to get him fully hard if he wasn’t desperately trying to stop himself

Otabek started kissing up his wet neck, firmly cupping his dick and balls into one hand, Yuri whined, “I could do it right now baby, you’re all clean, we could just try it?”

Yuri melted into Otabek’s back, resting his head on his shoulder instead, he felt like he couldn’t breath, it was so hot inside the shower anyways, but now the idea of that, it was gross, he didn’t want to try that

Otabek hummed, “Why don’t you tell me to stop?” before Yuri could react, he moved from his neck, kissing inch by inch, so fucking slowly down his spine, Yuri didn’t have anything to grab onto, it was all just shower wall, he felt like he was going to pass out

Otabek nudged at his legs, to spread them wider, it was such a gentle tap but Yuri reacted instantly, spreading his legs, as he rested his head back against the cold shower wall, feeling Otabek kiss so softly against his cheeks, the room was spinning again

Otabek was so gentle with his touches, but one simple touch and Yuri instantly moved into it, he’d pressed against his lower back, so that Yuri would have to pert his ass out more, he was embarrassed, he was so fucking embarrassed, but he felt that turned on, he felt like he would do anything right now

“Tell me to stop” Otabek reminded, almost smugly, as kept kissing, teasing his tongue slightly inside of his cheeks, god it felt like the most fucked up thing, then it got even more fucked up

Feeling Otabek’s tongue not even hesitate as he licked at his rim, Yuri moaned out loudly, grabbing his dick instantly, holy shit this felt like nothing he’d felt before, it was so fucking wrong

He was seriously going to cum in 5 fucking seconds, Otabek hummed as he didn’t stop, still firmly lapping at him, his fingers started to tease and rub against the area between his balls, Yuri had to bite his lip to stop moaning out at how fucking good this all felt

He felt like his legs were shaking again, Otabek didn’t stop, it felt like too much overstimulation, then his tongue teased inside, only subtly, but it was enough to send Yuri over the edge in an embarrassingly short amount of time

Cumming with a loud moan, that’s when he said it, “Stop stop” he rushed out, Otabek pulling away instantly, Yuri turned around leaning his back against the wall, looking down at the hot Kazakh man on his knees who was smiling up at him curiously

“Don’t fucking tell anyone, holy shit Beka, please, don’t fucking tell anyone” Yuri started feeling panicked, he didn’t want anyone to know that he’d just came from that, he didn’t even want Otabek to know that he’d just came from that

He felt so fucking embarrassed, why the fuck did he enjoy that? Otabek stood up, cupping his face, looking at him sadly, “Baby I won’t tell a fucking soul, what we do together is no one else's business. But it’s nothing to be ashamed of..”

Yuri cut him off shaking his head, “Beka seriously, promise me, don’t fucking tell anyone?” his heart was pounding, he sounded desperate, Otabek kept his frown, “I promise Yura, I wouldn’t ever do that. Just like I know you wouldn’t do that to me, it’s our relationship no one else’s”

Yuri nodded as he turned to try and quickly his shower and get the fuck out of there, Otabek sighed, turning him back around, “Yura, you enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, what’s the problem?”

“It’s gross” Yuri quickly rushed out, Otabek was unphased, “So is having a dick in your mouth surely?” Yuri went to open his mouth to argue something, but he didn’t really know why he was bothering, he ended up just smiling and laughing

Trying to bury his face in Otabek’s chest, “Fuck I’m so fucking embarrassed” he mumbled out, between laughs, he was, he really fucking was. He didn’t know how he felt about it, he just knew it felt so fucking good, cum in 10 fucking seconds good

Otabek laughed gently, he could feel him shaking his head, “Don’t be” Otabek moved his arms to hold Yuri tightly, “And don’t ever think I’d tell anyone what we do Yura, it’s between us, no one else okay. And, that’s something that I’d really like to keep doing, if you actually like it anyways”

Yuri sighed against his chest, mumbling out his answer, “You know I do asshole, can we just get out this shower now? I want to curl up in bed with you and get some fucking sleep” 

Finishing up the shower, Yuri tried not to let his mind race with what they’d just done, he still felt embarrassed about it, no matter what Otabek had said. Yuri felt exhausted when they finally dried off and got tucked up into bed, laying there with Otabek, both entirely naked, Yuri never felt happier

Otabek was planting dumb kisses on his forehead and head, humming how nice it felt to have him back in his arms, Yuri listened contently, nuzzling his face further into Otabek’s chest, finally shutting his eyes

It was fucking perfect, for all it was an emotional rollercoaster for Yuri, it was all a learning curve. One day he’d be able to be rational about everything, but he felt pretty reassured that Otabek didn’t just bail instantly, he’d try talk him down, that felt like the most special thing

For once Yuri’s mind wasn’t racing, he wasn’t thinking about the competition, he actually even wasn’t thinking about what had happened in the shower, just being there with Otabek, that’s all he was focused on, the steady rise and fall of his chest, just the feeling of being held

Not that he’d compare himself to Victor and Yuuri, but this must be what those idiots feel like every single night. No wonder they were always stupidly happy and gross, Yuri was sure he’d turn into that too if he was around Otabek more, he had it so fucking bad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone liked it!
> 
> Comments and feedback appreciated! :)
> 
> It's a long chapter, the next one should be too, but I've changed the amount of chapters as well. I don't think i can squeeze the rest of the story into just one next chapter, and I wouldn't want too <3


	12. Chapter 12

Waking up to Otabek’s hot mouth on his neck, it was all open mouth kisses, his hand stroking across his stomach, and his dick was pressed pretty close to his ass, but he didn’t feel hard so Yuri in his half asleep state felt thankfully like he wasn’t going to freak out

Yuri hummed sleepily, nudging himself further back into Otabek’s hold, Otabek squeezed him in closer, whispering into his ear, “See you on the ice baby” Yuri frowned, turning to face him, he loved how Otabek looked on a morning, just a little messy, his hair wasn’t long but when it was unkempt it was a little curly and hung in front of his face

Yuri couldn’t resist running his hands through it, “You should just let your hair be natural yknow” Otabek smiled as he hummed, “Do you think? It’s gets a little wild” Yuri couldn’t think of anything better, Otabek would look fucking amazing a little wild

Nodding in agreement trying to keep it cool, “If that’s what you want, what are you going to do with yours, let it grow?” Otabek asked curiously, his hands stroking down his back, one slipping casually down to cup his ass

Yuri didn’t squirm, even if his face blushed, before he could answer Otabek’s question, Otabek quickly spoke, “Is this okay?” Yuri nodded, he was going to keep his cool he couldn’t have a freak out today, it would ruin his performance, then Yuri remembered who the fuck he was going to see

Groaning loudly, he rolled his eyes, “Fuck Beka I need to see fucking JJ today” Otabek frowned, squeezing his ass possessively, “Make sure you don’t kiss him” he mumbled, Yuri glared, “Seriously Beka?”

Otabek moved his other hand down holding him firmly as he tugged him in for a hard kiss, when he pulled away Yuri’s lips felt bruised, “You can’t really be jealous, I only did that because..”

“I know I know” Otabek huffed, “I’m going to feel so jealous if he tries to speak to you though” Yuri couldn’t help but laugh, “Seriously? He’s an asshole, I don’t even like him, he’s your friend Beka” 

Otabek scowled, Yuri couldn’t hide smile, “It’s really nice to see you being irrational for once” Otabek rolled his eyes, “How would you feel if you saw me kissing Yuuri?”

Okay wow, Yuri’s smile never dropped so fast from his face, Yuri never felt so insecure, why Yuuri? He could have said anyone, did he think Yuuri was hot? Did he want to kiss Yuuri? 

“Why Yuuri asshole?” Yuri snapped, now Otabek smirked at him, “It’s not nice is it” Yuri couldn’t move his frown, “Do you think he’s handsome?” 

Otabek looked at him confused, “Yura, I was joking. I wanted to say someone who was your friend” “So why didn’t you say Victor?” Otabek shrugged, “I honestly didn’t about it all that much”

“So do you think Yuuri’s handsome?” Yuri pressed, so much for not having a freak out this morning, Otabek answered deadpan, the fucking asshole

“Yes” Yuri’s mouth dropped, as Otabek continued, still looking unphased, “I also think JJ’s handsome, Phichit’s hot, and Christophe’s seriously good looking. It doesn’t mean anything, you don’t think any other men are attractive?”

Yuri felt his face flush red, “No” he stuttered out, it was a lie, of course it was. Otabek hummed as if he didn’t believe him, his eyes rolling, “So just me? I’m the only man you find attractive?” 

“Mhm” Yuri tried to manage out, it was getting too hot in here, how the fuck could Otabek say such embarrassing things with a poker face, “So, Victor? Victor isn’t attractive to you?”

Otabek spoke teasing and his face said it all, “I need to go shower” Yuri rushed out, trying to leave the bedroom, Otabek pulling him back laughing, “Oh baby, cmon, apart from me. Which skater do you think is..”

“I’m not doing this with you” Yuri barely felt comfortable with his own sexuality let alone trying to talk to Otabek about which other skaters he found hot, of course it had crossed his mind, he had to see all these other good looking athletes in tight fitting clothing or nothing at fucking all when they were showering

Yuri never felt so fucking confused, girls had never done anything for him. All of his adoring Yuri’s angels, it never phased him, but being around other men, no wonder he always lost his temper and lost his shit, he was trying to desperately to be cool all the fucking time that he couldn’t help but snap 

Otabek pouted, Otabek didn’t seem to the type to fucking pout, he was dangerous, and cool, and handsome, but here he was pouting so cutely trying to get an answer from Yuri

“I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours” he teased, Yuri glared, it was ridiculous that the idea of Otabek of course finding other people attractive had him so wound up and jealous, it was stupid to think that Otabek only ever thought that Yuri was hot, he’d been with other people, of course he found other people hot

Otabek pressed, “It’s just a bit of fun Yura, it doesn’t mean anything. You know I’ve only got eyes for you, but you know you’d be lying if you said you didn’t think anyone at all in this entire world was good looking, apart from me”

Yuri groaned out defeated, as he tried to hide his face in Otabek’s neck, “Fuck, okay fine. You tell me yours first” Otabek hummed, “Probably Guang-Hong” Yuri quickly unhide his face, staring at Otabek in disbelief 

“But he looks nothing like me?” Otabek cocked an eyebrow, “I know?” Yuri couldn’t wrap his head around this entire thing, “Do you wish I was more cute like him?” Guang Hong Ji seemed shy, innocent and maybe just a bit adorable, he was nothing like Yuri was, did Otabek want just a little cute sweet boyfriend?

“So you think he’s cute?” Otabek teased, Yuri raised his voice like a idiot, “Don’t change the fucking subject Otabek! Do you wish I was more like him?” he wasn’t really helping if Otabek did want someone more cute, he was being anything but right now

Otabek groaned out shaking his head, “No Yura I don’t, I thought we were just joking around. Cmon who’s yours?” Yuri shook his head, sitting up, in a stupid little huff, Otabek snaked his arms around him sitting up as he planted a kiss on his cheek

“Tell me which skater your most attracted to, cmon, apart from me, it’s just a dumb game Yura, it doesn’t mean anything” Yuri frowned, turning his head to look at Otabek, as he rolled his eyes, “I don’t know asshole” Otabek went to press again, but Yuri groaned out, as he mumbled and turned his face away from Otabek again

“Probably Phichit, or something” he tried to play it off casual, like he hadn’t thought about it before, like he didn’t linger at his selfies when he was scrolling through social media, he didn’t have a crush on him or anything, he didn’t even think about him even the tiniest bit like he thought about Otabek, but Yuri just found himself attracted 

“So I should watch out for you kissing Phichit and JJ?” Otabek spoke teasing but Yuri snapped his head around regardless, “Stop saying shit like that, do I need to fucking worry about you flirting with Guang-hong?” 

Otabek still had a smirk on his face, but pulled Yuri onto him, sitting on top of Otabek naked, his legs straddling him, Yuri couldn’t help but burn red, “Yura, I’m sorry, I’m only playing around. You know it means nothing right?” 

Yuri so desperately wanted to agree, but he really wasn’t sure, now he wasn’t only worried about bumping into fucking JJ, he was worried about seeing Otabek and Guang-Hong fucking flirting, he knew he would overthink anything if he saw them speaking, not that Otabek tended to speak to anyone, only occasionally JJ really, but still

Otabek frowned sadly, pulling him closer, running his hands down his back reassuringly, “I’m sorry, I promise it means nothing. I don’t really think your going to do anything with Phichit, or even JJ” 

Yuri sighed nodding, “Who knew boyfriends would be so fucking hard” he hadn’t actually meant to say that, his eyes went wide, he didn’t even fucking mean it, not really, he thought it in a confusing way a lot of the time, just because it sent his fucking feelings into overdrive and made his mind race, but he wouldn’t dream of actually saying it Otabek, apart from he just fucking did

The way Otabek’s face dropped, Yuri knew he’d fucked up, “I, I didn’t mean that, I was, just..” 

“We need to get ready, we don’t have time to have a fight” Otabek tried to dismiss it, but his face said it all, he went to lift Yuri off of him, Yuri quickly wrapping his arms around his neck

“Beka, I don’t want this to be a fight. I just fucked up, it just came out, I don’t even really think it, I just, fuck, you make my head spin, I have all these dumb fucking feelings for you and it makes me be embarrassing, and yell, more than I usually fucking do, because, I don’t know, I’m just so” 

Yuri groaned in annoyance trying to get his words out, “I don’t know, I’m just so in fucking love with you or something”

Otabek’s eyes went even wider, “What the fuck” was all he said, Yuri really felt like his head was fucking spinning now, did he actually just say that? He didn’t even know that’s how he actually felt, until he just said it, but now that he did, everything kind of made sense

He was so stupidly fucking in love with this dumb hot Kazakh man underneath him, no wonder he was a mess. Yuri didn’t say anything just staring at him with just as wide eyes, his heart was absolutely pounding in his chest

“You love me Yuri?” Otabek asked, his face was serious and he had the start of a frown, Yuri couldn’t get a read on him, he just wished he hadn’t said anything, he’d messed everything up and he was meant to be skating in fucking a few hours

“I, I don’t know asshole, yes?” he snapped, Otabek shook his head, “Yuri, do you love me or don’t you? It’s a simple question” nothing about this was fucking simple, love wasn’t fucking simple

“Yes asshole I fucking love you!” Yuri yelled, Otabek crashed his mouth to Yuri’s, Yuri thought his heart was going to beat out of his chest, Otabek was kissing him desperately, he didn’t break the kiss as he moved Yuri onto his back, Yuri wrapped his legs around him, threading a hand in his hair and grabbing at his back with his free hand

Fuck he was going to get hard if Otabek kept this up, they didn’t have time, every second counted before the competition what the fuck were they doing, but Yuri couldn’t think of a place he’d rather be, or what he’d rather be doing

Otabek was kissing him so hard into the bed, Yuri couldn’t breathe, but he couldn’t stop kissing him either, Otabek’s hands stroked down his body, slipping underneath him to cup his ass firmly, Yuri leaned up his body, Otabek groaning into the kiss

Yuri kissed him even harder, he’d never felt so turned on, his mind wasn’t racing with insecurities, right now he just wanted Otabek, even when Otabek started grinding down, he still didn’t want to stop, he was half hard and he wanted fucking Otabek, anything he wanted to give right now

Yuri pulled away from the kiss, to start kissing Otabek’s neck roughly, he couldn’t remember a time when he’d done it himself, Otabek always did it to Yuri and it felt amazing. It was probably more teeth and tongue than actual kisses, Yuri felt so desperate

He’d never really let himself go like this, it felt good not being stuck in his own head, all he could smell was Otabek, all he could feel was Otabek, he wanted more, trying to kiss down to his collar bones while being trapped underneath him, Yuri pushed him off, Otabek laying on his back while Yuri started peppering kisses across his stomach

“Yura” Yuri looked up, Otabek actually had a fucking blush, he moved his hands down to cup Yuri’s face, “I fucking love you too” Yuri felt like he was going to melt, he was going to maybe blow him, he’d felt confident too, but now he felt all weak and stupid

He didn’t know if he was blushing before, but he definitely was now, he had a dumb smile spread across his face, as he leaned down to kiss at Otabek’s stomach again, “Are you going to let me blow you fucking finally or make me go all stupid?” he mumbled out, it was definitely the latter though, but he wasn’t stuttering which was a good start

Otabek laughed out gently, “Just as long as you know that, I do Yura, I’m so in love with you” Otabek spoke so firmly, Yuri was definitely fucking red now, he wasn’t even feeling shy about sucking his dick, he was shy because of what he was saying

Yuri nudged his face back to Otabek’s stomach, kissing more as he tried to wipe the fucking obvious smile off of his face, when he finally reached where he wanted to be, it didn’t feel half as intimidating as it did yesterday

He still didn’t think he could put even half of it in his mouth, but he’d just fucking told his boyfriend he loved him, he could do this, tentatively sticking out his tongue he lapped curiously at the head, Otabek letting out a little groan

But Otabek wasn’t really particularly loud anyways, so Yuri didn’t take it to heart, he was still anxious about how big it was, but he needed to get the hang out of it, he did absolutely want to casually blow his boyfriend without having fucking panic attacks

Right now he felt pretty calm, which surprised himself, still just working his tongue over the head, he was essentially just making out with Otabek’s dick, which made him cringe. He really fucking hoped he felt better than he thought he did, Otabek was staying hard that was a good sign right?

Moving down, he licked from the base to the head again, “Yura you feel so good” Otabek hummed, okay this was it, he was going to take it in his mouth, getting a firm grip at the base, he didn’t get any more than the head in, working his hand up and down

He wasn’t feeling great about the taste, the actual taste itself was fine, but the cum part wasn’t the best. It wasn’t exactly bad, but Yuri just didn’t think he liked the concept of it, the more he kept going, slowly he was going deeper

And by deeper it was maybe another inch in his mouth, spit was all over his chin, but he really didn’t want to gag this morning, he hadn’t even brushed his teeth yet and he already had a dick in his mouth, he really was turning into Victor and Yuuri

The worst thing was, Yuri was actually enjoying himself. His dick was still hard between his legs, the little groans and words of praise that Otabek was telling him was really getting him going, his jaw was starting to hurt as he kept moving his tongue and moving up and down, but he was determined, and he was going to fucking get better, he was going to swallow Otabek’s dick like a pro one day, and that took practise

“Yura, fuck I’m gunna cum” Otabek groaned out, Yuri quickly pulled away, trying not to wrinkle his nose at the idea of it, he didn’t have a problem with cum, just not in his mouth, he didn’t like it so much the first time either

“I, I don’t want it in my mouth, is that okay?” Yuri nervously asked as he kept his hand moving, Otabek had the most fucking handsome smile that made Yuri feel like he was melting, “That’s fucking fine baby” Otabek actually moaned as he said it, his face twisting in pleasure, he panted out as he came, spilling across his stomach and Yuri’s hand

Yuri kept moving his hand until Otabek’s orgasm seemed to stop, moving his hand away he reached down to grab a towel off the floor that they’d used yesterday after the shower, cleaning up his hand he handed it over to Otabek who groaned happily

“Fuck that was fucking perfect” Yuri blushed as he moved to lay beside Otabek again, they really should get a move on, but Yuri kind of hoped Otabek would do something about his own erection, not that he expected it or anything he was just hopeful

And he wasn’t disappointed, the second Otabek had cleaned off his stomach, he moved in between Yuri’s legs, Yuri tried to act casual, avoiding eye contact was casual right?

He felt fucking shy, now of all times, Otabek hummed, calling him fucking out, “Don’t get shy on me now Yura, you were so confident before, you just made me cum so hard and now you can’t look at me?” 

Yuri couldn’t help his smile as he glanced to look down at Otabek, at entirely the wrong time, he was staring up at him, with those dangerous dark eyes, as he licked all the up his dick, Yuri’s eyes scrunched shut as he moaned

Holy fuck he’d have wet dreams about that sight for the next fucking month, Otabek’s mouth always felt so fucking strong, he didn’t mess about with it either, sucking lightly on the head, Yuri squirmed under him, he was going to pass out

This all felt too fucking good, his hands gripped the sheets again, Otabek didn’t tease it in his mouth like Yuri did, Yuri was tentative and unsure, Otabek seemed to know exactly what he was doing

By the time he’d actually took him into his mouth, Yuri was a panting, sweaty, moaning mess, daring to actually open his eyes and look down, Otabek looked so fucking ridiculously hot, Yuri couldn’t help panting, “Oh fuck Beka” 

Biting his lip so he would shut the fuck up now, Otabek glanced up at him, his lips wrapped around his dick, this was fucking Otabek Altin, who rode a motorbike, who DJ’d like a fucking badass, who skated so powerfully on the ice, he had Yuri’s dick in his mouth, holy shit

Otabek kept eye contact as he hollowed his cheeks, and deep fucking throated him, Yuri’s mouth dropped open, he couldn’t fucking help the moans leaving his mouth

He wanted to look away, he knew how stupid he’d look right now, how whiney and red he’d be, but Otabek never looked hotter, the way his throat felt around his him, “You’re gunna make me cum, fuck, fuck” Yuri panted out, Otabek shut his eyes now, but didn’t make any attempt to pull away

Yuri squirmed, quickly warning him again, “Beka, I’m gunna cum” Otabek kept his pace, bobbing his head up and down, Yuri let out the fucking loudest whine as he came, finally shutting his eyes and throwing his head back onto the pillow

Trying to catch his breath as he panted, Otabek slowly pulled away, kissing up his stomach, around his neck, until he got to his ear, “Did that feel good baby?” Yuri sighed out, “Fuck yes” 

Otabek planted a ticklish kiss on his ear as he moved to his side, tugging him into his arms, Yuri looked at him curiously, wrapping his arms around his neck, while Otabek held his sides

“Did, do you er swallow?” he asked curiously, “Mhm” Otabek nodded easily, “Do you wish I did?” Yuri felt vulnerable and on display, but he really did actually trust Otabek, he honestly did trust him not to tell other people what they did in the bedroom, even if it made Yuri cringe a little himself

Otabek’s face stayed exactly the same, a slight smile and a soft expression as he shrugged, “It doesn’t really bother me either way” Yuri nodded, “Do you like too?” 

“I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t like it” Yuri hummed at his answer, “What about the taste?” Otabek laughed, “As much as I would love to lay in bed with you all day and talk about swallowing your cum Yura, we should really get ready”

Yuri sighed, “You’re right” pulling his arms from around his neck he couldn’t help but stroke up Otabek’s jaw first, feeling like a little idiot, “You’re really handsome asshole” he was, ridiculously so, he had such a fucking manly jawline, nothing on his face looked fairy like, not like Yuri’s

Otabek leaned forward planting a kiss on his nose, “So are you” then Otabek moved across to ear, “Makes my dick so hard just looking at you” Yuri blushed and smiled, “Shut up” he mumbled, but he was fucking enjoying the praise really

Hearing Otabek’s rough little laugh right in his ear made him shiver, “And for the record, I do like the taste of your cum. Think about me swallowing your cock when you see Phichit or JJ”

Yuri rolled his eyes, pushing him away playfully, “Fuck off shithead” lazing in bed for a lot longer than they should have, everytime one of them went to get up the other would pull them back onto the bed, it was sickly sweet that Yuri should have wanted to throw up, he shouldn’t have the biggest smile on his face, he shouldn’t be giggling away, and he definitely should be getting ready for the competition 

Finally making it from the bed to the shower, Otabek took his case up to his own room, deciding to shower separately was a hard but right choice. If Otabek was in the shower with him they’d still be stupidly all over each other, and Yuri needed to get his head in the game

He wasn’t feeling nervous, he actually felt the most chill he’d ever felt, he wasn’t even freaking out that he’d told Otabek he fucking loved him. The thought hadn’t even crossed Yuri’s head, he just knew he was a mix of so many damn feelings and emotions, no wonder his head was spinning, he was actually in fucking love with someone

He’d never been in love before, of course he hadn’t, it was a pretty fucked up emotion. It made him think and feel all kinds of crazy, no wonder he was a emotional wreckage, either screaming and yelling or bursting out into tears, or maybe worst of all, being sickenly cute with Otabek

It didn’t even make him cringe as he thought about it, drying his hair, he heard the terrifying yell of Lilia pounding at his hotel room door, “Yuri Plisetsky!” Yuri shuddered, oh fuck, he didn’t check his phone all morning, she was probably going crazy 

Hanging his head tentatively to answer the door, her face looked furious, Yuri let her yell at him, it was his own fault and he really respected Lilia, everything she did, no matter how strict it was, Yuri knew it was all for him because she wanted him to succeed

Just as he went to say he was sorry, she grabbed his jaw roughly, like she always did, “Why are you lips all red? Have you been biting them?” 

Yuri squirmed his face away, “No, why would I bite my lip? I must have knocked it on something” he tried to pass it off, his lips were pretty red, but he didn’t think they were that noticeable. Only someone as patantic as Lilia would notice them, it was probably because he’d been kissing Otabek nearly non stop, sucking his dick and he did bite them when he was worried he was being too loud

She glared at him, Yuri always felt nervous under her glare, “Turn around and sit down, I’ll do your hair” Yuri nodded, heading over to the dressing table, when he heard the loudest gasp to ever come from her mouth, she was normally pretty composed, turning around curiously, she was staring at the bed

“Yuri Plisetsky! You are 16 years old, how many girls have you had up here?” her voice actually sounded more angry than Yuri had ever heard, “What the hell are you talking about?” Yuri turned to look at what she was looking at, oh holy fucking god

The lube and condoms were scattered on the nightstand still, Yuri felt all the colour drain from his face, “I can’t believe you would do something so foolish before the competition, was all your practise for nothing?” she spoke so serious and stern, Yuri felt so fucking bad

Turning around to face her, he fucking soon felt the colour rush back to his face, turning red and burning up, “It wasn’t like that, Victor and Yuuri brought them for me, just, just yknow incase” 

She stared right into his fucking soul, Yuri swallowed nervously, he was only kind of lying, only a little bit. It was mainly true, she kept the glare, “So no ones been in this room with you?” 

Yuri shrugged trying to play it off cool, just in case any one had seen Otabek leave his room, “Otabek has, just to catch up” “Otabek Altin, the Kazakh boy?” 

Yuri nodded as he still tried to play it cool, there was no fucking way she knew that he was anything more than a friend, Victor and Yuuri wouldn’t say a word, he knew they wouldn’t

She hummed unsurely, “I don’t think he’s a good influence on you” she was of course referring to a few different things, Yuri had bailed on the exhibition skate that Lilia had planned for him to skate something she hated, it wasn’t exactly a duet skate or anything, but Otabek was there on the ice with him, looking so fucking hot and taking his glove off with his mouth

Otabek had also ‘kidnapped’ him in Barcelona on his motorbike, she also heard about Yuri sneaking into the nightclub where Otabek was DJing when he was underage, so for all Yuri could kind of understand, he also didn’t agree 

Yuri shrugged, “Do you want to start on my hair now?” he offered politely, hoping she would seriously drop the lube and condoms situation, she glared one last time over to them, “Yuri if you fail on the ice because your too busy thinking about some girl..” she went to threaten but Yuri quickly cut her off, “There’s no girl I promise” 

She tutted for him to turn around, exhaling shakily, thank fuck she dropped it. Again that wasn’t a lie at all, there was never any girl, it was always just one boy

Having the same fucking lecture when Yakov walked into his room for a pep talk, Yuri rolled his eyes, telling him the same fucking story, he felt so mad at Victor and Yuuri for the shit they were getting him in, but he also felt pretty grateful that they had done it, otherwise yesterday might not have been as fun as it was

He took the lecture, then he listened to the pep talk, that should have put his head in the game, but he literally couldn’t stop thinking about Otabek. About last night, about this morning, about their relationship so far

It was going fast, well Yuri felt like it was going fast, but he also didn’t feel happier, it didn’t feel rushed or anything. Everything was just going at it’s own pace, he actually had to focus on not smiling like a fucking idiot in front of Yakov and Lilia 

Trying to listen and follow whatever they were saying, he’d be stepping out to the rink soon. He’d bump into Otabek again, and that made his heart flutter, he wouldn’t be able to touch him though, and Yuri didn’t know how he felt about that either

It was his boyfriend, Otabek Altin was his boyfriend. “What are you smiling for Yuratchka, are you even listening to me?” Yakov’s stern voice pulled him out of his head temporarily, he always gave Yakov attitude, Yakov yelled at him more, Yuri still wanted to smile regardless, he was a fucking idiot in love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh so I ended up taking away how many chapters there were, because I thought I knew, but the more I keep writing, the more ideas keep coming and I really don't want to end it too short!
> 
> I also intended for this chapter to be super long, but since I'm working sooo much lately and it takes me 3 hours a day to commute to and from work, I've uploaded just the start instead. Then at least you guys have something to read instead of no updates!
> 
>  
> 
> Hope everyone likes it <3 and I'm sorry for the delays in updates!


	13. Chapter 13

Yuri felt entirely at ease right up until they actually reached the rink, then his heart started pounding in his chest. If Otabek was in the locker room, which he probably might be, would they casually talk like they were just friends?

If he saw Guang-Hong now, Yuri felt like he would be overcome with jealousy. He got what Otabek had meant, kind of. Of course other men were attractive, but he still found himself frowning at the thought of Otabek saying that

Of Otabek, his boyfriend listing the people he found attractive, he’d called Phichit hot. Phichit was hot, but Yuri only thought that in the back of his mind, he didn’t want to say it aloud, but that’s exactly what he’d done

Just like he’d said he loved him, the frown was replaced with a dopey smile. He did love him, his stupid handsome Kazakh face, his best friend who had confused him to no end, who was now his boyfriend, it had worked out pretty good really

“Yuri?” Yuri’s blood ran cold, this little aspect had slipped his mind. He’d his fucking tongue in JJ’s mouth, oh shit. Turning around he felt like a asshole, him and Otabek had left him in the middle of Russia, that was pretty uncool, even for JJ, who Yuri didn’t even like but had kissed him

Otabek made him do the craziest of fucking things, JJ gave him a friendly half smile, not beaming like an asshole like he normally did. Yuri just prayed he wouldn’t make this awkward, “Yeah?” 

He tried to sound casual, he didn’t want to yell at him, he’d even wiped away Yuri’s fucking tears that night and hadn’t said a word. “You doing okay?” he asked tentatively, Yuri wanted to be swallowed up into the ground

Nodding he went to turn away, but JJ grabbed his arm quickly, “Wait” he rushed out, Yuri grimaced before he turned around to face him, “I don’t want things to be awkward, the kiss didn’t mean anything right?”

Yuri groaned as he shook his head, “No, definitely not” JJ nodded, but still looked at Yuri curiously, Yuri quickly rushing out again, “Sorry” he was, he really was

He didn’t like JJ, he was obnoxious and full of himself and an overall asshole who called him names like kitten and princess. But he wasn’t actually a bad person, when Yuri had seemed sad he didn’t tease him at all, and he’d kissed him back which was fucking worse 

Before Yuri could react or say or do anything, JJ had wrapped his arms his around him, since JJ was so much taller than him, Yuri had his face begrudgingly in his chest, “You don’t need to be sorry princess, I just hope your doing okay” 

Yuri couldn’t see his face, but he sounded like half a asshole, and half like he actually cared, Yuri didn’t know what the fuck to think. He rolled his eyes at the nickname as he went to pull away, when he heard Otabek’s voice

“What the fuck” Yuri jolted away from JJ, Otabek had a face like thunder, Yuri must have looked like he’d been absolutely caught out, his eyes were wide and all he managed to rush out was, “It’s not what it looks like” 

In actual fact it wasn’t at all, but saying it made it sound like it was fucking something. He hadn’t even hugged fucking JJ back, JJ laughed, “What? You jealous Otabek?” of course JJ would make it a joke, he didn’t have a fucking clue what was going on

Otabek turned his glare towards JJ, “Why were you hugging him?” his voice was firm and rough, it made Yuri shiver in all kinds of ways, JJ shrugged with a grin

“Wouldn’t you want to cuddle a kitten? I was seeing how long it would go before I was scratched” Yuri couldn’t stop babbling, he didn’t want it to be a scene, “He was just making sure I was alright, last time he saw me I was crying”

Otabek frowned as he looked back to Yuri, “Last time you saw him you were kissing him” now Yuri had a fucking frown, “Last time he saw you you had fucking girls draped all over you”

JJ laughed again, “I don’t know what’s going on here, but I was just seeing if he was okay. What’s wrong with you Otabek?” 

Otabek shook his head, taking his eyes off of Yuri, “Nothing, nothing at all” he turned to walking away at a fast pace, Yuri quickly scampering after him, they weren’t hiding this whole relationship thing very well at fucking all

“Beka, Beka please fucking wait!” Yuri called, tugging on his sleeve, Otabek turned back to Yuri with a sigh, “Yura, I’m not mad. I was a little, well a fucking lot, but I was just confused and jealous. I’m sorry I made you cry, I trust you, I promise. We need to get ready for skating”

Yuri rushed forward throwing his arms around Otabek’s neck as he pressed their bodies close together, he didn’t say anything, his heart was pounding, he just didn’t want to fight with him

Feeling Otabek wrap his arms around him tightly giving him a little squeeze, Yuri finally smiled as he relaxed into his hold, “Don’t speak to Guang-Hong, it’ll drive me fucking crazy” 

Otabek laughed as he lifted Yuri up off the ground, Yuri pulled his face back to look at him, he was reassured when Otabek was smiling at him

“You are so much hard work Yuri Plisetsky” he teased, Yuri frowned at him as Otabek leaned in, “So much fucking hard work” he hummed as he leaned in for a kiss, Yuri instinctively shut his eyes, his legs wrapped around Otabek still, the second their mouths connected, Yuri realised they were out in the open, but it was seconds too late

Hearing a camera click, Yuri flashed his eyes open, his heart sinking in his chest, Otabek’s eyes were just as wide as he put Yuri down, it all happened too fast, turning to see a fucking journalist with a camera and a shocked expression himself

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, was all that was racing through Yuri’s head. He wasn’t out to anyone, he didn’t know if Otabek was, he was just about to fucking skate, he didn’t need this

He didn’t need the whole entire world knowing he was gay, knowing about him and Otabek. The journalist started asking a string of questions, Yuri’s ears were ringing, he felt Otabek grab at his hand tugging him away down the hall

Following wordlessly as fast a pace as Otabek was setting, until they reached the locker room, it was obviously partially full with other skaters and coaches, Yakov and Lilia instantly nodding for him to come over

Yuri felt like he was shaking, Otabek turned him to face him, looking him straight in the eye, “Yura don’t even think about it. Don’t even let it cross your fucking mind okay, skate, you’re going to do fucking amazing..” 

Yakov cut him off with a loud Yuri from across the room, Yuri kept his eyes locked with Otabek, he was looking at him so firmly and seriously, he didn’t look scared though. He just looked like he was desperately trying to reassure him, Yuri felt like he was going to have another panic attack

The room started to feel small around him, he felt too hot, Otabek cupped his face, “Yura, Yura, listen to me. Just focus on your skating, that’s all that matters okay, you’ve worked so hard..” 

Yakov’s looming voice came across the locker room again, Yuri knew everyone would be looking at them now, Otabek quickly taking his hands away from Yuri’s face, he never stopped his eye contact, Yuri nodded at him

He still felt he was going to fucking throw up, but Otabek was right, he just needed to skate. Get that over with and then everything else could matter then, he was trying his hardest not to let his mind race but it was going into overtime regardless

Begrudgingly turning to go to different sides of the locker room, Yakov and Lilia were looking at him curiously, but Yakov thankfully just started drilling him with pep talk, Yuri started getting changed as he tried to blank out everything else in the room

After he skated it would be even worse, people always approached him for interviews, they’d mention something to fucking Yakov and Lilia, they might even do that when he was on still on the ice 

How the fuck could Yuri have let himself be that careless? He’d just so desperately not wanted Otabek to be mad with him after seeing him and seeing JJ hugging, he didn’t even hug JJ back, he didn’t even want JJ fucking touching him!

It had all escalated so damn fast, he was jolted out of his head again when Lilia touched his arm, “Yuri, you’re shaking” she scrutinised his reaction, Yakov was staring into his fucking soul as well, Yuri didn’t realise he was shaking

He didn’t know how anything would play out, the last thing any skater wanted was drama right before a competition, let alone moments before he got on the ice, Yuri felt like he was going to faint, his ears were ringing, he felt light headed 

It was all going to come out into the open, his Grandpa would see that photo. Everyone was going to see that photo, Yuri felt like he was going to throw up

“I need the bathroom” he rushed out, as he turned everything went fuzzy, one minute he was standing up, the next everything was dark. When he next opened his eyes, his head felt like it was in someones lap, opening his eyes it was fucking Victor’s face frowning down at him

“What the fuck” he grumbled out, he felt disorientated, “You fainted Yuri, how are you feeling now?” Victor spoke firmly but softly, Yuri didn’t want his head in his lap at all, but he felt like he couldn’t move just yet

“Like I want you to get the fuck away from me” there wasn’t any bite in his bark though, it made Victor smile at least and not look so concerned, he stroked a hand through his hair, he knew he felt clammy, he felt coated in sweat and fucking gross

“Is everything okay between you and Otabek?” Yuri’s eyes went wide, “What have you heard?” 

Victor’s frown came back, “Nothing Yuri, have you’s had a fight?” Yuri shook his head against his lap, slowly lifting himself off, Victor helped him holding his back steady

They stayed sitting on the floor as Yuri tentatively looked around the locker room, “Everyone’s at the rink, you needed your space, Yakov went to get a doctor to check you over” 

Yuri groaned, “I’m fine” “Even so, Otabek definitely didn’t want to leave your side. Yuuri had to walk him out and reassure him that I’d stay with you, we’ve been allowed to perform last. Now, are you going to tell me what’s going on?”

Yuri sighed as he felt sick all over again, “A fucking paparazzi got a photo of me and Otabek kissing” 

“And your not ready to come out yet?” Victor asked so calmly, god he sounded like Otabek, level fucking headed. Yuri groaned again, “No, fuck I don’t know. I don’t even know what I think myself, let alone the world fucking putting their opinions in” 

Then as if he realised just who he was talking too and that he was actually communicating his feelings he snapped on instinct, “It’s none of your business anyway Victor!” 

Victor laughed as he rolled his eyes, “Oh Yuratchka, you don’t need to be so angry all of the time you know. I know it’s not the best situation, but you and Otabek seem serious about each other”

“We are, asshole” Yuri mumbled against his knees, he’d wrapped his arms around his knees still sitting on the floor, Victor was reclining lazily on his arms, so casually like Yuri’s world wasn’t going to shit around him

“So if your both serious about each other, what difference does the whole world make? Does your Grandpa know?” Yuri shook his head, Victor hummed, “Are you nervous about what he might say?”

“I don’t fucking know!” Yuri snapped, Victor kept his calm relaxed stance, offering him a small smile as he leaned closer, “It’ll all be okay Yuri, your Grandpa loves you for you, it won’t make a difference to him”

Yuri suddenly felt like he could burst into tears, his Grandpa was the only family he had. He was one of the very few people that Yuri actually cared about and it mattered what he thought about him, he didn’t think his Grandpa would have a bad reaction, not really

But it was still just a lot for him to take in, it was a lot for Yuri to take in, let alone anyone else. The locker room door opening brought Yuri back into the real world, he’d need to go skate really fucking soon, he needed his head back in the clear, no more fucking fainting in the locker room

Despite his constant snaps of he was fine, the doctor of course still insisted on checking him over. After what felt like an age, he was finally deemed fine to go out on the ice, Yuri rolled his eyes he knew he was, his health was fine, it really was

It was his fucking head that needed seeing too, it was still all over the place. He could only imagine how Otabek felt on the ice, Yuri could kick himself for doing this to him right before he had perform. If Otabek was the one who fainted Yuri would be a mess on the ice, he hoped it didn’t affect him too much

When the doctor finally left, Yuri despite how wobbly he still kind of felt, he had to change, Victor called after him softly, “Yuri, it’ll all be okay I promise. You’ve got all the support in the world, just focus on your skating for now”

Yuri nodded as he mumbled out a thanks, quickly changing he wished he had more time to gear himself up for this. Victor left before him, Yuri exhaled as he was finally left alone

He was the ice fucking tiger of Russia, it was just a dumb fucking photo. Yuri didn’t want to think about what the photo meant for him, for Otabek, for his Grandpa, how much of a fucking fairy he’d look in Otabek’s arms

It would definitely be undeniably them, they were both in their team jackets, Yuri had his hair tied back up off of his face for his skate, his arms were just around Otabek’s neck, not obscuring his face at all

Quickly storming out of the empty locker room, maybe being alone wasn’t all he wanted it to be. It only made his mind race more, heading to the rink his heart pounded in his chest, he felt himself filling with stupid anger, he didn’t want anyone to say a word to him, he felt too on edge

Approaching the rink, Yakov tried to speak to him, Yuri knew he was just checking in, he didn’t seem angry. But Yuri couldn’t help snapping at him, he just wanted to get on the fucking ice and get this over with, Yakov was still shouting after him as he got on the ice 

Staring up at the crowds around him, they cheered, Yuri’s mind went blank as he closed his eyes exhaling slowly. Being on the ice was one of the only things he knew like the back of his hand, it didn’t confuse him, it didn’t make his mind race, well only sometimes when he couldn’t land a jump, but that was all on him 

It was relaxing being on the ice, his feet were less shaky on the ice than anywhere else. Hearing his music start, he felt his body automatically glide into his routine, it was embedded into his core, he knew exactly how to move and that’s what he did

 

The next thing he knew he was panting out of breath, standing in the centre of the rink hearing the crowd roar around him. He didn’t fall once, he didn’t stumble, this was the moment of truth

What all of his training had been lead up too, he always felt free after skating. Like nothing else mattered, apart from this time it did. Otabek mattered, he mattered a whole fucking lot, his Grandpa mattered, only seconds after his skate, his clear head was quickly gone

Now all he wanted was his score and to fuck off somewhere with Otabek, Yakov and Lilia congratulated him on his skate, Yuri felt bad for worrying them and then snapping at them even though they hadn’t actually did anything wrong

Not that he’d ever vocalise he felt that way, sitting in the kiss and cry, staring intently at the screen for his results. “118.70!”

Yuri leapt up happily, his heart swelled, it only beat his last record by a few minor minor points, but it was still the best he’d ever fucking skated! He felt electric, he didn’t need any fucking journalistics coming over and asking him questions now

He didn’t need Yakov and Lilia to find out about him and Otabek right fucking now, he wanted to know fucking Otabek’s score himself. Glancing over to the scoreboard after he celebrated, he saw Otabek was 4th, frowning he knew he could score better

It was all Yuri’s fault, he’d definitely had a negative effect on his skating. Rushing to get changed, since he was the last one to compete Yakov didn’t make him linger around, he heard angry over the top yelling, glancing over, Victor and Yuuri were having a full blown argument in front of all of all the paparazzi 

Yuri smiled, those fucking old idiots rarely argued, and they wouldn’t ever be that extra to do it in public. Yuri had no doubt they were doing it for his benefit, no wonder he liked them really

For all they annoyed him to no fucking end, he would also do a lot for them. Like when they were sick, he didn’t hesitate to bring them all the supplies they needed, bring them hot soup and as gross as it was, and it really was, he stroked up Yuuri’s back when he was throwing up and Victor was out, trying to reassure him

He didn’t even call him piggy, not even once. The paparazzi were eating the performance up as well, Yuri rolled his eyes as he managed to sneak into the locker room, so far the scores were, Victor, Yuri, Yuuri, Otabek, JJ, Phichit and Leo

No fucking Guang-Hong in sight, thank fuck. That would make Yuri act even more dramatically and unreasonable than normal, glancing around it seemed empty, he didn’t think Otabek would leave without him?

“Beka?” he called nervously, Otabek came from around the corner with just a low towel around his waist, “Yura” he beamed, “You were amazing, I’m so so proud of you”

Yuri quickly leant down taking off his skates and running over to Otabek, he wrapped his arms around him again, but this time he couldn’t help but burst into tears, his entire body felt weak, Otabek tugged him in tightly

“Yura..” Otabek tried to speak, but Yuri shook his head, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry” he sobbed out, he couldn’t help the intense guilt he felt for fainting just before Otabek skated

All of his worries about coming out the world were surfacing, he’d just skated his heart out. He felt exhausted, his head was still buzzing, he thought he might throw up all over again

Otabek shushed him gently, planting a kiss on his forehead, “I’m just so fucking proud of you Yura, you were incredible. I couldn’t take my eyes off you” Yuri lifted his face to look at Otabek, he knew he looked like a idiot, he still had tears streaming down his face but he couldn’t believe how cool Otabek was being

If it was him, he’d be raging, he’d be yelling at everyone and everything, he’d have trashed the locker room. Lilia didn’t have a clue what she was talking about, Otabek was the best influence on Yuri, even Yuri knew that

Otabek was looking at him softly, “I’m sorry I fucking fainted, I didn’t want to throw you off” Yuri croaked out, Otabek shook his head smiling, “I’m just happy you’re okay, Yura, I’m sorry I kissed you..”

Yuri shook his head sniffling, “It’s not your fault, it’s that stupid paparazzi” Otabek sighed as he nodded leaning in to kiss his head, it felt reassuring, even if Yuri felt like a stupid mess of emotions still

He knew he had a lot more to come, he wanted to ring his Grandpa as soon as he could, he wanted to be the first one to tell him. The rest of the fucking world be damned, he nuzzled his face into Otabek’s chest, his chest rumbling as he spoke, “I’m not out to anyone yet either, if that helps”

Yuri kept his face against his chest, his tears stopped falling as fast as they started, he felt rough though, his voice was still a bit croaky, “Not even your parents?” he asked, “Mhm, I mean I don’t think it’ll be a issue. But, it still makes me nervous yknow” 

Yuri nodded as he sniffled again, he wasn’t crying, he just still felt shaky. “I er, would you meet my Grandpa? He doesn’t know anything, but I want to tell him before he finds out from the fucking tv or something”

Otabek tilted his face up to look at him as he beamed him a smile, “You want me to meet your Grandpa?” Yuri blushed as he nodded, he couldn’t hide his own smile, being with Otabek less than 24 fucking hours and he felt like a real boyfriend, the phone calls were literally nothing compared to this

Yuri did feel nervous about the whole thing, but his head wasn’t light, he didn’t fucking feel like he was going to faint again. Otabek smiled as he leaned in to kiss him, Yuri shut his eyes leaning in himself

When would they fucking learn not to kiss in public? Not today apparently, Yuri moved his hands to stroke through up his undercut, the reassuring feel of the roughness under his fingers, Yuri leaned in closer, Otabek’s hands wrapping around his waist

Who knew a simple fucking kiss could make Yuri feel like everything else didn’t matter, hearing Victor’s loud laugh they quickly separated, they didn’t even hear the locker room door go, it could have been anyone, not that that mattered much now, everyone was going to find out sooner rather than later regardless

Yuri swung round to see Victor smiling and Yuuri blushing as he smiled too, Yuri rolled his eyes, “You’d have thought you wouldn’t want to be seen kissing..” Victor started but Yuri quickly cut him off, “I know, I know old man” 

Victor kept his smile as he continued, “We distracted the press for as long as we could, rumours will probably circulate that we’re splitting up now, hopefully that will take away from you and Otabek” 

Yuri nodded as he went to mumble out a thanks, but Otabek beat him to it, “Thank you both, we’ll be more careful next time” 

Victor nodded with a smile, Yuri didn’t want to shower here, he wanted to go back to his hotel room with Otabek, shower there and then maybe order room service and not leave the hotel room for the rest of the night, he didn’t think Otabek would have a problem with that either

It’s not like they could rush over to Moscow and visit his Grandpa when they had to skate in literally 2 days again, Yuri wanted Otabek to practise some more too, he’d need to skate his fucking very best to build his score back and earn a spot on the podium, he deserved it so much and Yuri was determined not to let him ruin all his hard work

Quickly changing, he grabbed Otabek’s hand, Otabek looking down to him with a smile. Yuri squeezed as he blushed, he still couldn’t help the stupid blush, but he felt stronger with his fingers entwined with Otabek’s

He was a idiot, he knew that, snapping a quick fuck off when Victor and Yuuri’s eyes darted down to their hands. Yuri’s heart fluttered in his chest, not even because of nerves of possibly seeing the press or anything

But because he actually felt confident enough to hold Otabek’s hand, because when he looked up to Otabek’s handsome fucking face he couldn’t believe that was his boyfriend, that he could kiss and touch him and he wouldn’t actually run away when Yuri was being the most unreasonable person in the entire world

Otabek was the coolest best friend he’d ever had, and now, now he was his boyfriend. No wonder Yuri was stupidly in love with him, they were in this together, they were literally both in the space predicament, neither of them were out and they’d face that hurdle together

Starting a little sooner than they’d like, the second they stepped out of the locker room, paparazzi were fucking everywhere, snapping photos, yelling out questions, not that Yuri could make anything out, it was all just a racket of noise 

He exhaled shakily, some of the questions were probably aimed at Victor and Yuuri anyways, Yuri wanted to yell at them to stop, but he’d done that so often in past that he didn’t need any more bad press right now, not with everything going on

For all his heart was pounding, Otabek kept a strong hand on his, firmly leading them out of the way. Well trying too, Yuri kept his head down, it was just starting to spin again, he heard Otabek speak in a low firm voice, it made Yuri shiver, it sounded threatening, “Move, now” 

If Yuri was that journalist he’d have been more than a little scared, he had such a bad fucking ass boyfriend. When Yuri nearly stumbled over someone’s stupid foot, Otabek didn’t even struggle to keep him upright, pulling him up then wrapping a arm around him 

Yuri blushed as they finally left the building, Victor and Yuuri were close behind them but Yuri couldn’t see them as he turned around, he glared at the journalists, “Fucking assholes!” he yelled, well so much for trying to keep his cool

Otabek kept them walking straight ahead to the taxi’s, “Yuri!” uh oh, Yuri recognized that angry yell from anywhere, Otabek still had his arm around him, Yuri turned to see Yakov’s angry and just a little confused face, he eyed up the scene in front of him 

Yuri got that he was probably confused seeing him with Otabek, if he hadn’t already heard about them anyways, and he’d just heard him scream at the paparazzi, “Fuck” he groaned, as he pushed forward into the taxi, he would handle all of this fucking mess after he’d spoken to Otabek about it, alone, in the sanctity of his hotel room

Which Yakov probably had a spare key too, okay so they’d go to Otabek’s hotel room. Otabek’s coach was probably going insane too, finally inside the taxi, Otabek still kept his arm around him, Yuri groaned as Otabek told the driver where to go

Feeling Otabek plant a kiss on his forehead, there was too much fucking on going on right now. He just wanted to nuzzle into Otabek’s side and forget about everything just for a few minutes, they had so much to deal with, but Yuri still didn’t feel that overwhelming sense of dread he normally did, he just leaned closer into Otabek’s side 

“Fucking assholes” he grumbled, “It should be illegal to pester people like that” Otabek actually sounded annoyed himself, Yuri lifted his head, “Thank you, for getting us out of there like that” 

Otabek still didn’t look happy, “It’s not right Yuri, they shouldn’t be allowed to do that. You’d only just fainted, you didn’t need any drama” 

Yuri couldn’t help but smile, he felt just as mad, but seeing his rational level headed boyfriend get more pissed off than him and be protective, that felt really fucking nice

“I’m okay yknow” Yuri hummed happily, “Because of you” he added, Otabek looked down to him suspiciously, “That was a nice thing to say, and you’re not even blushing” 

Yuri rolled his eyes, as he felt a fucking blush come onto his face, “Shut up” he huffed, he knew Otabek would have noticed he blushes and shit, but to actually tell him that to his face, wow, Yuri more than a little embarrassed

“See you are cute Yura, not cute like Guang-Hong..” Otabek teased, as Yuri gasped loudly playfully shoving him, “Fuck you asshole” he grumbled

Otabek moved closer to his ear, “I’d rather fuck you baby” Yuri was definitely red now, he felt like he wanted to squirm as Otabek distracted him, he kept a low voice humming into his ear a graphic retelling of what they’d did that morning

Yuri’s eyes flashed to the taxi driver who didn’t seem to take notice, he was going to get hard, he didn’t want to get hard right now. “Beka” he mumbled shyly, pulling his ear away and turning to him with a slight scowl, Otabek smirked at him as he shrugged, “You’re distracted right?” 

Yuri rolled his eyes, his face was still burning up red, “Shithead” he mumbled again, leaning back into his side as Otabek stroked down his arm reassuringly

They were approaching the hotel, finally, alone time with Otabek where they could talk and try to rationally decide how to handle this mess, and what a mess they’d gotten themselves into

Yuri dreaded seeing what people were saying online about them, he dreaded seeing the photo, but sitting in the taxi with Otabek’s strong arm wrapped around him still, he’d just been so fucking casually dirty talking into his ear, Yuri’s mind wasn’t actually racing

Otabek was right, he had distracted him though. The asshole was always right, always calm, he’d managed to go from mad to level headed within moments, he’d gone from dirty talking into Yuri’s ear, to just holding him as a caring boyfriend, it really wasn’t a wonder that Yuri’s head was nearly always spinning, he had a stupidly perfect handsome boyfriend, who know nearly everyone would know about, there could be worse things right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trying to make up for not posting a lot! 
> 
> If you're still reading, thank you so much, and I hope you like it! 
> 
> Comments honestly mean the world to me, and are very much appreciated <3


	14. Chapter 14

Finally shutting the door of their hotel room, Yuri felt so fucking dizzy, he threw himself on the bed huffing out, “That was fucking crazy” the room felt like it was spinning, his head felt like it was all a mad flash of what had just happened

He’d seen JJ, a paparazzi had caught them kissing, so the whole entire world probably knew by now. He’d fainted in front of the entire locker room but despite all that he’d skated his very best, he felt full of guilt for Otabek’s score, and then they’d had to run through all the paparazzi and escape 

Yuri had also told Otabek that he loved him this morning, it was a crazy day, and it was only going to get worse as the days went on. They’d both need to perform again, they’d need to talk to someone at some point about it, and he wanted Otabek to meet his Grandpa, he’d need to come out to his Grandpa

“You should really shower Yura” Yuri shot a glare at Otabek who was standing up smirking, Yuri rolled his eyes, groaning dramatically as he pulled himself to sit up, “Otabek, that was fucking crazy” Yuri repeated waiting for a reaction

Otabek hummed, Yuri kept his scowl, “Beka” he repeated, Otabek laughed moving to sit on the bed reaching a hand over to stroke at his ankle

“It was, but try not to get worked up. It’ll all work out” shrugging as he usually did, Yuri couldn’t help being more dramatic, sighing as he put his head back onto the pillow, Otabek was right, as he always was

Yuri shouldn’t get worked up, he’d been so entirely on edge ever since Otabek had visited him two months ago. He was always at a constant state of alert, he did need to try being more like Otabek, who suddenly gasped uncharacteristically

Yuri lifted his head resting on his elbows as he looked to him curiously, Otabek was inspecting his ankles like something was wrong, Yuri wasn’t in any pain, he couldn’t remember falling

“What..” was all the could ask before Otabek looked at him with a confused face, “Do you not still wear your ankle bracelet I got you?” 

Yuri couldn’t help but burst out laughing, “What, our friendship bracelets. Beka, it got wrecked after one shower, I keep it on my bedside unit though”

Otabek looked shocked, “You don’t wear it every day?” Yuri’s laugh turned into a shy smile as he started to blush, he didn’t know they actually meant anything to Otabek, “Do you wear yours?” Yuri asked, he hadn’t seen one on Otabek’s ankles at all, and he was pretty sure he’d remembered every inch of Otabek from last night

Otabek went to open his mouth but then shut it again, before he got a stern face, “That’s not the point” Yuri couldn’t help laughing again, “Beka, if you don’t even wear yours, why am I getting in trouble for not wearing mine?”

Instead of using words to argue his case, Otabek lunged forward tickling down Yuri’s sides, Yuri squealed out the most embarrassing noises as he tried to get him to stop, “Stop it asshole, stop it” he wished he sounded more angry and mad, but it was full of laughs, he could barely breathe

Otabek had a wide smile on his face as he shook his head, holding Yuri’s wrists up about his head as his face turned into a playful scowl instead, “We’re meant to be connected Yura” Yuri rolled his eyes as he probably blushed again, shaking his head

“We don’t need a little thing wrapped around our ankle to feel connected, asshole” he mumbled, Otabek’s pretend scowl turned back into a beaming smile, “I’m glad you think so, do you feel connected to me Yura?” 

How Otabek could say that, even if it was in a slightly teasing voice, but with an entirely straight face Yuri would never know. “Of course I do” Yuri didn’t speak with a clear voice like Otabek, but he didn’t stutter, he was proud of his communication, even if it was a quiet mumble

Yuri spoke up again, this time clear and serious, “I’m sorry I fainted Beka, I seriously..” Otabek cut him off shaking his head with a sad frown, “You can’t help that you fainted Yura, I’m just glad you’re okay. I’ll just need to give it my all in a few days, no big deal” 

Yuri frowned this time, “But..” Otabek let go of his wrists leaning down to kiss him deeply, it shut him up and it had a calming effect on how guilty Yuri felt

He’d probably never forgive himself, but Otabek was handling it really well. Just like he always seemed to do, if it was Yuri he’d be the irrational one, he knew he would, his anger would always get the better of him

Trying not to let his mind race though, he opted to stroke his hands through Otabek’s hair, Otabek moved his hands down his body, holding his thigh tightly as his hands teased to touch his ass, Yuri didn’t flinch, he didn’t freeze up, but he knew his heart started to pick up 

He wasn’t even sure what he was scared of anymore, he knew for a definite fact that Otabek wouldn’t try anything that he didn’t want, he knew if he asked him to stop he would, and he knew that whatever Otabek did, he’d probably just fucking love and enjoy it anyways

Yuri hated his nerves, who knew boys could be so confusing? What Mila had been talking about for years he was finally understanding, he wondered if she was nervous like he was, if he was any good at talking he’d probably ask her

He should probably ask Victor and Yuuri too, just what their first times were like, if it didn’t make him feel like he would throw up if he heard them talk about their sex lives anyways

Otabek groaned against his mouth, barely pulling away as he started speaking, “You skated so fucking beautifully Yura” Yuri laughed making Otabek pull away a little bit more, “You’re seriously thinking about me skating?”

Otabek frowned at him, “Can you blame me?” he leaned in kissing across his face to his ear, Otabek’s voice up to close to his ear like that, it always sounded a little rough, but being purred right into his ear, Yuri couldn’t help but burn up

“Watching you in your tight little costume? How you move on the ice, fuck Yura, your ass in that costume” Otabek did a playful growl, it made Yuri shiver, he was getting a shy smile, he knew his face burning up, but feeling desired by Otabek as something hot and not just cute, it felt pretty good

Yuri swallowed, as Otabek teased his hand further towards his ass, cupping it with a firm strong hand, “I couldn’t help thinking of last night, in the shower..” Yuri couldn’t help his nervous laugh/yelp, pushing Otabek off of him as he sat up, his face bright red and shy

“Okay okay” he rushed out, not wanting Otabek to go into any more detail than that. The shower might have felt so fucking good, but it made Yuri feel a little shy and sick when he thought back to how much he liked such an embarrassing thing

Otabek was on his heels wide eyed and a little upset, “Sorry” Yuri quickly rushed out again, Otabek went to open his mouth and say something but then stopped before starting again with a sigh, “You should shower Yura” 

Yuri nodded as he quickly escaped the situation, he felt like a idiot. He hated when he’d push Otabek away, and Otabek would blame himself, it wasn’t him, nothing was ever him. Yuri just couldn’t help but seeming to fight with his own mind and body about everything, it was just the way he was

When he realised he’d headed into the shower without any clothes to change into, he’d need to face Otabek in a towel. It wasn’t the worst thing, of course it wasn’t, but since it was daylight, since they’d just had that awkward moment, it didn’t feel like the best thing

It dawned on him again that he’d need to tell his Grandpa, Yuri wished he knew how he’d take it. Would he even care that Yuri was gay? Would it bother him? He didn’t know, he didn’t think it would, but it was also just the fact that he would then be introducing his boyfriend straight to him

Would it be too much for his Grandpa? Would it hurt his Grandpa more that he hadn’t told him straight away? He might even see it on the news before he heard it from Yuri, he didn’t know if he should ring him, over the phone could be easier depending on how he looked at it

“Yura, can I come in?” Yuri quickly turned off the shower, getting out and wrapping a towel around himself, before he responded, “Yeah” Otabek opened the door with a look of concern

“Are you feeling okay? Yuri nodded quickly, standing there soaking wet, the towel wrapped entirely around his body, not just around his lower half like Otabek did so casually

Otabek sighed, “Can we talk?” Yuri’s heart sank, he’d just told him he loved him, Otabek had said it back, why did it feel like they were breaking up?

“Yura?” Otabek asked again, Yuri hadn’t realised that he hadn’t moved from the spot or said a word or indicated he’d heard, he nodded, his legs felt like jelly again, the bathroom felt far too hot

Otabek nodded back at him as he led the way out of the bathroom, Yuri followed wordlessly, perching himself on the edge of the bed, Otabek gave him a soft smile, “Do you want to dry your hair first?” Yuri shook his head, his mouth felt dry like he couldn’t speak

“It’s nothing bad Yura, or I hope it’s not. Just answer me honestly, do you like what we do together sexually?” Yuri groaned, this again, he got where Otabek was coming from, but he didn’t need to talk about it again

“Yes Beka” Otabek frowned, “All of it? You like it? You enjoy it and don’t feel ashamed doing it?” okay so that was a different question entirely, he definitely felt ashamed that he liked what they’d done in the shower, but everything else, he didn’t feel ashamed

It was just shy and embarrassing, but then so would sex surely? He’d have Otabek’s dick in his ass, he’d had his fingers in his ass, and now being asked how does it make him feel, it was a strange question and it made Yuri feel uneasy

He didn’t have a definitive answer for Otabek, and that confused him, “I, er, why?” he tried to look away, grabbing another towel and attempting to dry at his hair without seeming so obviously uncomfortable, he heard Otabek sigh gently

“I would just hope that you did like and enjoy all of it. We’re two consensual adults, nothing we do sexually together if we both enjoy it should make us ashamed” 

Yuri nodded casually, Otabek had a firm face looking at him seriously, Yuri should have something more reassuring but he couldn’t bring himself too, of course he couldn’t 

Otabek moved closer grabbing his hand stopping him from pretending to dry his hair, “Yura, if we do anything you don’t want to do or don’t like..” Yuri cut him off quickly, he didn’t want Otabek worrying about him 

“Beka, I’m fine. I promise I know you’d stop, I promise okay, and I’d tell you. Fuck I would have told you yesterday if I wanted you to stop, I just don’t want people knowing” Yuri was looking him dead seriously in the eyes, Yuri knew, he did fucking know that Otabek wouldn’t tell anyone, but the tiniest part of him screamed that he would and that everyone would know that he liked having a tongue in his ass, it made his skin crawl at the idea of anyone ever knowing he’d sucked a dick before

It wasn’t the fact that is was a boy, he’d feel the same if he’d went down on a girl he guessed. He was just private about sex, even around Otabek who he trusted more than anyone in the world

He could play sex appeal on the ice, he didn’t have a problem with his welcome to the madness, he was just playing a character, ice skating was something he could do. He’d learned agape, he’d did the whole unconditional love thing, skating was entirely different to actually doing it

Otabek squeezed his hand with a smile, “I promise, I’d never tell anyone anything about us Yura. Not one damn thing” 

“Never?” Yuri asked, Otabek shook his head still keeping his handsome reassuring smile, he brought Yuri’s hand up to his mouth planting gentle kisses, Yuri started getting an embarrassed smile

“Never baby, no one will ever know how perfect your cock is Yura” Otabek teased, Yuri felt himself turning bright fucking bright, yanking his hand away with a quick scolding, “Beka”

Otabek pulled him onto his knee despite how soaking he still was, humming as he cupped Yuri’s wet face in his hands, looking right at him as Yuri was still blushing with a playful scowl

“No one will ever know just how much I love you” he spoke so firmly, with a smile, not shy to show his feelings at all, Yuri’s heart felt like it was skipping a beat, he knew they’d said it to each other this morning, but fuck hearing it again, he couldn’t actually believe Otabek Altin was his boyfriend

Yuri leaned in quickly, he felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest. Yuri kissed him desperately, messy as always, hearing Otabek groan into the kiss, Yuri managed to get out of his stupid head and just enjoy this for what it was, a hot moment between him and his boyfriend

Yuri pulled him back onto the bed, swallowing as he looked up to Otabek, Otabek reached for his towel, “Can I take this off?” he asked, Yuri nodded, “Take off your clothes too” the smirk that spread across Otabek’s face was worth the moment of bravery

Otabek leaned down planting a firm kiss on his lips before he pulled away tugging off his tshirt, fuck Yuri would always get lost looking at his body. He was so tan and muscular, so fucking effortlessly cool

Yuri’s hair was still drenched, he could feel it soaking into the pillow underneath him, he still hadn’t taken off his towel, he couldn’t take his eyes off of Otabek, he’d stood up from the bed, looking to Yuri with a smile as he gestured at his boxers

Yuri’s mouth was dry as he nodded again, taking his eyes off of Otabek as he mentally prepared himself to take off his own towel. Leaning up it was do or die, he didn’t want to back out, quickly taking it off and throwing it to the floor, he didn’t have time to panic though

Feeling Otabek’s mouth against his neck planting open mouth kisses, it made Yuri shiver, “You’re so fucking perfect” he spoke against his ear, Yuri couldn’t help the shy smile, it was better than feeling too nervous and having a fucking panic attack at least

Yuri turned to hold his face, pulling him back to the first position they were in, Otabek on top of him, Yuri crashing their mouths together again

Running his hands through Otabek’s hair, feeling the roughness of his undercut against him, having his strong mouth take over the kiss, Yuri felt lost in the heat of the moment, he didn’t know what came over him

Speaking against his lips, Yuri’s heart was pounding, “I want you to fuck me” Otabek pulled away slightly, Yuri knew his eyes would be wide just like Otabek’s were, he could hear Otabek swallow before he spoke, he could feel Otabek’s dick between them pulse, for all his heart was pounding, he didn’t take it back, he meant what he said

Even if his entire body felt like it was shaking, “Yura..” Yuri shook his head cutting him off, pulling his face back down to his, “I’ll tell you to stop” Otabek nearly groaned, leaning back down devouring his mouth again, Yuri was breathing heavy against him

What the fuck had he just said? He didn’t even stutter, he didn’t fumble his words, and despite his racing heart, he still hadn’t changed his mind, he was about to lose his virginity and that didn’t terrify him, until Otabek pulled away reaching for the lube looking back down to him with that smile, fuck Yuri felt like he was going to faint

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So incredibly sorry for the lack of updates! 
> 
> My inspiration for this story completely disappeared for a little bit, but I'm hopefully back on track now :)
> 
> Next chapter should be a pretty fun one too..
> 
> Thanks for sticking with the story, hope everyone likes it!


	15. Chapter 15

“Any pace you want Yura, I, fuck, should we wait? Your free skate is in a few days” Otabek looked conflicted, putting the lube onto the bed, moving back to where he was, looking at Yuri seriously, stroking a hand through his hair

Yuri against all of his better judgement, literally everything, shook his head. “I don’t want to wait” he should have waited, he definitely should have, but he felt overcome with emotion, in all kinds of ways

He was still on a high from his short program score, he still felt guilty that he’d fainted and impacted Otabek’s score, if doing this impacted his own score it was only fair. But he wasn’t even doing it for that reason, he wanted Otabek, he did want him

He wanted him entirely, even if he had to stop during, if he stopped now he didn’t know when he’d been thinking this clearly again. When he didn’t feel like his head was spinning and that he was going to throw up

Otabek still looked unsure, “Fuck Yura, I seriously want this so fucking much, but are you sure you want to risk it affecting your skating?” 

Yuri didn’t answer, he started kissing him again, feeling Otabek melt into the kiss for once was really fucking nice. Otabek didn’t stay melted for long, he started grinding his hips down, the kisses getting more and more messy, until Otabek pulled away panting against his mouth

“God I want you so fucking much Yura” Otabek didn’t give Yuri time to reply, instantly kissing him again, still keeping their lips pressed together, Yuri couldn’t help his insecure side from showing

“Just don’t tell anyone” he went to lean back into the kiss, but Otabek pulled his face away with a sigh

“Do you trust me Yura?” Yuri nodded, he couldn’t help feeling so incredibly small underneath Otabek, Otabek frowned

“If you trust me, why do you think I’d tell anyone? I wouldn’t” 

Yuri shrugged rolling his eyes, “That’s just something people do right, brag about taking someones virginity” 

Otabek scowled, “Who? Who the fuck does that? You want this too right? There’s no doubt in your mind?” 

Yuri sighed from under him, “Yes Beka, just don’t talk to people about it, it’s bad enough people know we’re together” 

“Is it? Is it so bad that people know we’re together?” 

Yuri groaned, “Not like that, I just don’t want them asking questions” Otabek shook his head as he leaned closer down to his face again

“Yura, you don’t have to answer anything. It’s literally no ones business..” Yuri cut him off with something that been eating away at him stupidly, he should have just kept his mouth shut from the start, he could have been having sex with Otabek right now and hopefully be on his way to a mind blowing orgasm, or he might have been in pain, Yuri really wasn’t sure, but he was sure he wished he hadn’t opened his mouth

“They’ll presume I bottom” Otabek looked at him a little confused

“They can presume anything they like? They’ll never know..”

“But I will, I will bottom, you won’t even let me try being on top” Otabek groaned as he moved off of Yuri, sitting back on his heels looking at Yuri with a serious face, Yuri sat up trying to pull the quilt over to over himself, he felt so entirely on display 

“I don’t like to bottom, I don’t like anything near my ass, I’m sorry I thought you’d respect that. If you didn’t like it we wouldn’t do it, I wouldn’t fucking bring it up just as we’re about to have sex” 

“You make me feel like I’m nothing but a pretty hole for you to put your dick into” Yuri wasn’t sure why he said that, he didn’t even mean it, he was just lost in the stupid moment of this fight, right as they were both naked

“Yura, fuck, seriously? I seriously make you feel that way?” Otabek had the most serious expression on his face, at least he didn’t look like he actually believed Yuri felt that way which was a relief until Otabek started speaking again with a sigh

“Please don’t push your insecurities onto me, I don’t know what you want from me Yuri. I tell you constantly we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, I promise that I won’t tell a fucking soul about us, but it’s not good enough. Nothing’s ever good enough for you” Otabek groaned in annoyance as he got up from the bed tugging on his clothes, Yuri sat frozen on the bed, he felt like he was going to throw up

“I skated like fucking shit on that ice today because I was so worried about you, I don’t blame you for a second, but then you say something like that. That I only see you as a pretty hole to put my dick into? What the fuck is that?” 

Yuri pulled the bedsheet higher up on himself, how they went from going to have sex to this, Yuri wished he could say he didn’t know how. But he did know how, it was him getting in his own head again, he seemed powerless to stop it

His mouth felt dry like he couldn’t speak, Otabek was still looking at him expectantly in his boxers and tshirt, when Yuri spoke it was like a whisper, he never felt so pathetic, he wanted to swallowed up in the ground, Otabek deserved so much better

“I didn’t mean it” Otabek’s expression did soften, but only a little bit as he sighed again shaking his head, taking a seat back on the bed thank fuck, he reached for Yuri’s hand, Yuri felt frozen in place, he’d fucked up like always, Otabek grabbed it firmly regardless stroking his strong hands across it, looking right at Yuri

“Yura, I mean it when I say I love you. You wouldn’t be my boyfriend if I wasn’t absolutely crazy about you, I respect you so much. I need you to believe me when I say I wouldn’t tell anyone..” 

Yuri cut him off, he was blushing at the words Otabek was saying and he knew this wasn’t his fucking fault, but here he was trying to make Yuri feel better, Otabek was just perfect, Yuri didn’t know how he got so lucky and he didn’t want to fuck it up

“I know you wouldn’t” Yuri tried to reassure, he was stupid that he needed the reassurance when he did actually trust Otabek. It was like a dark cloud fogged over the rational part of his brain and made him say awful shit and push Otabek away, it wasn’t fair and it was fucked up

Otabek squeezed his hand with a little smile, “And taking your virginity, I don’t think that gives me any power over you y’know. If you don’t think you’ll like it..”

“I think I will, I’m just” Yuri sighed squeezing Otabek’s hand, he felt the blush spreading across his face, “I’m just nervous”

Otabek gave him a sad frown, moving his hand away as he tugged off his tshirt moving next to Yuri again, he pulled Yuri’s legs over his as he started speaking, “Are you nervous it’ll hurt? That you’ll regret it? That someone will find out?” 

Otabek was stroking up his thigh which was a very welcome distraction, Yuri wanted to speak clearly, Otabek was speaking clearly, like he always seemed to do

“Everything apart from regretting it, I don’t want it hurt and be too fucking stupid to tell you..” 

“Yuri” Otabek spoke loudly, almost like he was mad, “That would be fucking stupid not to tell me. If it hurts, fuck I’d want you to tell me straight away. I would get no pleasure at all if I knew it was hurting you, I’m being serious”

Yuri rolled his eyes, “But if it felt good for you..”

“Would you enjoy fucking me if you knew I didn’t like it? That I wasn’t enjoying it?” Otabek challenged

“Okay okay, I get your point” Otabek did have a point, Otabek always had a fucking point. Yuri just knew himself, and he knew if he thought Otabek was enjoying it, regardless of if it hurt him, he didn’t know if he could find his fucking voice and speak up

But he also got where Otabek was coming from, he might be a tiny bit disgruntled at the idea that Otabek won’t even let him try touching his ass. But that’s because Otabek knew himself he didn’t like it, so if he did let Yuri try, Yuri would feel uncomfortable anyways since he knew Otabek didn’t want too

Otabek sighed as he kissed Yuri’s forehead, “If it hurts or if you just plain don’t like it, that’s fine Yura. It’s sex, we’re both meant to get pleasure from it, not just one of us” 

Yuri nodded as he shifted away a little, looking Otabek up and down, “Will you take off your clothes again?” he asked hopefully, he was pretty set on at least trying to lose his damn virginity tonight, if he put it off any longer he’d have a heart attack

“You sure?” Otabek double checked, Yuri rolled his eyes as he nodded, Otabek smirked as he did as he was told. Yuri like a idiot averting his eyes feeling shy again all of a sudden, if he had another panic attack he didn’t think he could cope with the embarrassment 

Like the embarrassment he felt when he fucking yelped as Otabek tugged him to straddle him, “Do you even know how hot are you are Yura?” Otabek grinned, all teeth in a beaming smile, “Are you really my boyfriend?” 

Yuri scowled as he pushed him a little, before settling down properly, wrapping his arms around his neck, “What do you mean asshole?” he grumbled

Otabek hummed as he stroked down Yuri’s back, “Are you, Yuri Plisetsky, my boyfriend?” Yuri was getting mildly annoyed, he didn’t know what the fuck Otabek meant, Otabek must have sensed it as he started to laugh, “Don’t look so serious Yura, I’m just teasing, I’m trying to relax you”

Yuri only offered him an annoyed huff as a response, it only worked a little. It made him forget that he was entirely naked and so was Otabek, and that he was straddling his knee, but that’s only because it had annoyed him, annoyance and anger were Yuri’s strongest emotions

Otabek leaned closer to whisper into his ear, “Do you know how hot you sounded when we had phone sex?” Otabek groaned as he spoke, before moving to kiss down Yuri’s neck, Yuri shivered as he felt his body spike with excitement 

Otabek kissed his way back up to his ear, whispering in a low growl again “The way you moan for me, only for me. Fuck you make me so hard baby, I’d wrap my hand around my cock..” Yuri cut him off yanking on his hair to pull him up to kiss him, the groan Otabek made went straight to Yuri’s dick

Yuri felt on fire again, he would be entirely red in the face, Otabek could dirty talk so fucking easily without even stuttering. Just listening gave Yuri so much embarrassment mixed in with arousal, he never knew whether he wanted to keep listening or yelp at him to stop 

Yuri didn’t know how long they were making out for, Yuri was breathing heavy against his face, he’d unbeknowingly started grinding into his lap a little, he was entirely hard and the words that Otabek had said just kept playing in repeat in his head

He felt like he was in his own little world of his own head, so much so that he didn’t feel Otabek grab the lube, nor hear him uncap it, he only felt his slick fingers touching his ass which made him make a very unsexy noise as he pulled away from Otabek’s face 

“Shit sorry” Otabek rushed out, his eyes wide, Yuri was still trying to catch his breath but he shook his head at the apology 

“No it’s fine, I just, fuck I forgot” because he was that fucking lame, in the midst of making out with his boyfriend he’d forgot that that probably meant they were going to do other sex stuff, and most importantly, actual sex itself which Yuri did entirely absolutely want to try

Otabek gave him a soft smile and he looked like he was about to reassure Yuri for the hundredth time that it was okay to stop, Yuri quickly speaking before Otabek got a chance

“I definitely want to do this” he spoke that fast he didn’t even know if Otabek heard him right or not, but he just wanted to be kissing Otabek again, getting back in his own head and trying not to worry about this all over again

Leaning forward to kiss him, it felt like a switch had flicked on inside of Yuri. His heart was suddenly pounding, he became hyper aware of his surroundings, he was sitting on his boyfriends knee, both naked, both hard, and about to have sex

He’d just started kissing his boyfriend, he felt like he forgot how to use his tongue, he froze up. Otabek hadn’t even attempted to put his hand back near his ass again and he was already acting like this, Yuri spoke against his lips not daring to actually look at his face

“Sorry, fuck, distract me again” he whispered, he felt like he was shaking, he felt like he might just break down and cry, his voice sounded tight, in a fit of sheer panic before Otabek could respond, he almost shouted, “Sex is scary okay” before shoving himself roughly off of Otabek and sitting back away from him as he wrapped the quilt around him as much as he could

Otabek was sat in the same place up against the headboard with a sad frown, Yuri quickly felt anger for some reason bubbling up inside of him, “I know okay, I fucking know I didn’t give you a chance to distract me, I’m sorry asshole!” he didn’t know why he was yelling either, or calling Otabek a asshole for that matter, he really hadn’t did anything wrong

“Yura..” Otabek tried to speak in his usual calm collected voice, but Yuri cut him off yelling again

“I’m sorry I’m scared, I don’t think fucking Guang-Hong would be, why don’t you go fuck him?” 

Otabek kept his sad frown, “Yura, will you let me speak please?”

Yuri kept the bundled up quilt wrapped around him as he stormed over to the window, he needed fresh air, he needed to calm the fuck down. Why would Otabek stick around? Twice, twice now he’d fucked this up, in what an hour? That wasn’t fucking normal

“I don’t mind that you’re scared, I mind that you’re yelling at me when I haven’t did anything wrong..” Otabek kept a calm voice, he didn’t even sound mad, but Yuri was Yuri, and he seemed to only get angrier 

“You never do anything fucking wrong do you?!” he almost screamed, he would be entirely embarrassed by his actions once he’d calmed the fuck down, but right now, he felt like he was being the rational one

Otabek also kept a straight face, he held eye contact, he didn’t make any attempt to move, “Okay so maybe I did do something wrong, I should have checked in that you were still into having sex, or doing anything. Everything was fine until I went to touch you, I’m sorry”

Yuri wanted to cry or scream, so of course he opted for the latter, “Don’t say sorry! You haven’t done anything wrong!” he yelled, the little laugh that left Otabek’s mouth and the smile that went across his face only made Yuri more angry, “What? What asshole?” he snapped

Otabek kept his smile, “I just really fucking love you Yuri, even if half the time I never know what is going on inside your head. I’m here, I’m always going to be here” again that same matter of factly, isn’t it so fucking obvious, I’m cool, I’m calm, I’m collected, I’m Otabek Altin type of way of doing things

Yuri felt deflated, doing a long exhale he felt a million times lighter. And now of course the embarrassment and what the fuck have I just done and ranted at come back tenfold

“Do you still want to have sex?” 

Otabek shook his head with a smile, “Not right now, I think you definitely need to cool off Yura” Yuri nodded as he kept the quilt tightly wrapped around his body, but he moved closer to the bed, taking a seat right beside Otabek

“I’m sorry” Yuri spoke firmly, he knew none of that entire kick off was alright, they were so close to having sex, and then Yuri of course messed everything up

Otabek leaned over kissing his head, “It’s fine baby, you know I’m right here with you right?” Yuri nodded resting his head on Otabek’s shoulder with a sigh, so maybe he wouldn’t be losing his virginity tonight and maybe that was okay

It was probably for the best anyways considering it would probably fuck up his skating, and he didn’t know how much more of his crazy mood swings that Otabek could actually put up with. Yuri could barely cope himself. Sometimes he felt like he was suffocating and other times he could actually rationally function like a normal person with a boyfriend. But tonight seemed like it wasn’t one of those times

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the delay! 
> 
> Life is really crazy right now, and the past few things I've posted people have left comments about the grammar or that it's unreadable.. And at the end of the day, I only write for fun! 
> 
> So if you don't like what I write, I'd rather you just didn't read it.. Easy fix! 
> 
> Also.. I'm sorry things didn't work out in this chapter, I fully intended that they would have sex and everything would be perfect, but then I couldn't help myself. Hope everyone likes it anyways! 
> 
> And I'm going to try and update all my other stuff too and get back on track, thank's for sticking with it if you still are <3


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